Given the key book to life

Teaching English and Norwegian on a vocational training school, future building- and construction workers, means my students are for the most part young men of the age 16 and older.

I have to admit I face a lot of challenges. They don’t like things to be too detailed, neat and extensive. They want everything to be to the point; “enough said”. Most of them have never written an essay longer than one page, and they actually have problems finding the right words to express themselves. I suppose I just described more than 70% of teenage boys around the world.

I’m having a bit of problem knowing what to call them; should I call them boys, young men or just refer to them as teenagers? I feel that each “title” hold a lot of truth, and yet they limit them in unfair ways.

When I was a teenager, well… first of all I like to think I was a young woman. I had a good upbringing, different yes, but I never thought of my life as a bad life. Challenging, in so many ways, but never bad.The thing about being a teenager during the 80s is that we had our rebellions, we did stupid things, but I can’t remember we gave up. I can’t remember we turned careless.

It was hard to be a teenager back then: finding ourselves were a struggle, as we faced the challenges of being a young adult. But we had time and the future ahead. We went through time of unrest and upheaval, and we were excused because we were in fact teenagers.

Now I feel like society is hardened, in a way. Our young ones are expected to grow up before they have even completed childhood. I find this is the case in most aspects of their lives.
We are talking about microfashion now. To me that is insane. Children should have clothes to play and run and explore the world in. Not wear brand mark clothes they have to behave well in. I choke in my coffee every time designers talk about outfits to 8-year old girls “sexy”.

Some idiot introduced the term children’s sexuality… what? Yes, I am aware I challenge psychology now, and I use strong and perhaps unfair words, but with a little imagination I am sure he/she/they could have come up with an expression which didn’t engage children in an introduction to adult expectations which to some extent approve of children having an active sexlife. In my mind that is just so totally wrong: Children are curious about their own body, they should not have to be made sexual objects because of that. They are learning to know themselves!

Children look in the mirror and consider their body on adult beauty standards. They go on diets and use make up in a much younger age than before.

Then the teens hit in, and they find it hard when they are not considered adults, because they have learned the ways of adulthood, and yet they never learned about the consequences. Suddenly there are things to take into consideration which arouses feelings they never expected, they never prepared for dealing with them. It is so easy to turn to anger. A feeling they can relate to, and they often punish others by punishing themselves, and the other way around.

In many ways, and in many fields which are part of being a complete person, I feel like a lot of people bring discrimination on themselves, and they do so by getting in people's faces too often and too strong. They like to say: “Accept me or else!” They act according to the saying attack is the best form of defence. They go around demanding respect as a member of a group, instead of earning respect as an individual. And that sort of behavior invites discrimination. And the feeling of being discriminated makes them angry, more aggressive, more likely to destroy relations to people around them.Within short the risk of solving the problems by using medications and nonprescription drugs, even alcohol, is sky high.

In my life confidence in myself (even though I am aware of my many flaws) and trust in others are crucial. When everything else falls apart I have that, and I get back on my feet and move on.

How do you gain confidence in yourself and trust in others, when you have never really been allowed to explore and test the limits? How do you recognize your platform in life to rely on? In my opinion being given the answers, rather than finding the answers by putting some effort into it creates insecurity rather than good skills. I understand society may not agree, but that’s how I feel like a teacher and an adult.