Happy 10th birthday, Iphone.

On January 9, 2007, the late Apple CEO Steve Jobs walked on stage at the Moscone Center in San Francisco to introduce the first iPhone. "Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone," Jobs proclaimed. The message was heard, but I am not sure they all understood.

It took a bit of glitches and crashes. It took some time, but Iphone shipped June 29, 2007. And Jobs was right: The smartphone changed everything.

"In 2001, we introduced the first iPod, and it didn't just change the way we all listen to music, it changed the entire music industry. Well, today, we're introducing three revolutionary products of this class. The first one is a widescreen iPod with touch controls. The second is a revolutionary mobile phone. And the third is a breakthrough Internet communications device. So, three things: a widescreen iPod with touch controls; a revolutionary mobile phone; and a breakthrough Internet communications device. An iPod, a phone, and an Internet communicator. An iPod, a phone...are you getting it? These are not three separate devices, this is one device, and we are calling it iPhone. Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone, and here it is. No, actually here it is, but we're going to leave it there for now."
10 years later things have gone so far that many people I know, most of them, actually, check their phone so often it is quite annoying to others. Every 2.6 minutes I check on my own phone, it is just a swift discretion, but when others do it... well it feels very impolite as if I am the one to interrupt. I feel less important, I feel I bore whoever I talk to.

The phrase: "I have to take this", has become so common, people think it is quite acceptable. When they say it themselves, that is.

Back in the days, 10 years ago, evenings and weekends were time for family, friends, fun and relaxation. Those times have drastically changed with smartphones. Laptops, even, are old school. Now, we take our work (and problems) home with us where we continue working in between social media entertainment, dates, work outs, apps and games, and meals. We keep track on work late into the night, even when there has been no updates for the last 5 hours.

It's gone so far they in France found grounds to make a ruling: France gives workers 'right to disconnect' from office email. They found it necessary to protect people from their own madness. Working as a teacher I see young people adopting the smartphone lifestyle even more intense than my own generation, who grew up knowing other values.

It's a habit, a bad habit, people think everybody else has, and a lifestyle to a large extent expected in people who take their work, their distant and close friends, and leisure time, seriously.

To put the phone away is so difficult it hurts. We have mobile hotels in our school. Designed safekeeping boxes where the phone should be placed during lessons. My students never get used to it. They keep trying to not hand the phone in, making all kinds of excuses, just to keep the phone near. They tell me they will keep it in their pocket... when I tell them that since they are not going to check on it, or use it, it might as well be kept in the mobile hotel. They are very reluctant, and not happy about it at all.

It has gone so far our comfort zone depend on knowing where the phone is at all times, and to really know where it is, it has to be so close you can see it and hold it at all times. It seems like our phones are attached to our hips and hands at all time, or put next to the laptop or dinnerplate on the table in plain sight.

We reach for our phone when we’re bored, busy, waiting in line, sitting at a stoplight, on the bus, or pretty much whenever we have a free second. Not only that, but to watch a movie with family and friends is just a lost cause. The cozyness is taken out of the experience by their multitasking on their phone and tablet while watching the movie. Or at least care enough about the movie to ask what happened every ten minutes.

According to a study by MobileInsurance.com, the average person spends 90 minutes a day on their phone, which equals to 23 days a year and 3.9 years in their lifetime. 90 minutes we refuse to acknowledge being disconnected from the present realtime.
After all, a snap, a message, a quick scroll takes no time at all.

We check our mail and social media in fear of what we might find, and even bigger fear of what we might miss out on. Actually we don't miss out on anything, but we are afraid that if we do not respond in expected or appropriate way within really short time, somebody might get insulted, and we could suffer consequences.... like less likes next time we post one of our 15 selfies the next day.

We check our email and social media even if we know there is nothing new but we do it anyways to find that quick shot of dopamine to make us feel temporarily better. Resent research found we get a kick out of We open another game of Candy Crush so we will look busy and not lost. We pretend to be with friends while looking at some stranger's new posting on instagram or flickr.

Maybe the innovation of the smartphone was a good thing. It is a handy tool for communication, that's for sure. You can even call someone with the device. But when I scroll through my phone, and look at my apps, I realize my entire life is tracked and evaluated. My recipes, my alarms, my game score, my calendar, my work out, my work, my music, my money and my spending... 

The apps launched feed the development of 10 new apps we really need to download.
I think it's time to get real. To cut back on the infatuation and obsession, and return to real life with real friends. Friends with bad breath from today's garlic lunch and the most catching laughter there is. 


It's time to reduce the smartphone to what it is: marvellous, handy and diverse, but seriously getting out of control.

We need to take back control of our time. We need to set our priorities straight; at the end of the day decide what is truly important to us, and then spend our time accordantly.

Yes, happy birthday smartphone. You really changed everything, indeed.

another Monday

Monday...

Last Monday, was one of those days when I just should have stayed in bed. Not because I was tired or anything, but simply for the sake of others.

I was in such a terrible mood, annoyed at everything and everyone, and it's so easy to find defects in everything from the fruit basket in the kitchen, to the boss at work.

And no, I couldn't blame it on "the time of month", which funny clowns at work suggested. They won’t do that again, as I gave them an excessively loud and lengthy discourse about gender discrimination, and modern feminism; Fully deserved! (Oh, yes! did that ranting off feel good!)

It's just that some days everything’s just wrong. You just know it before you uncoil from the sheets, and get up.

Mood, and state of mind, was close to depressed, my body felt exhausted, my hair looked like a haystack seriously neglected and I suspect I was wearing an uneven pair of socks. They were both white, but one reached a little farther up the leg. It's possible it happened during laundry, but I think I just slipped up when I sorted, paired and folded them.

Even the coffee on Statoil tasted wrong. The cup of coffee I refill at the gas station every morning, on my way to work, usually is pure elixir of life. Monday it was just like an acidic brew.

The only revigorating happening was that the car started.

My son's car didn't even though we started it on Sunday ... with cables, and with the neighbor (a mechanic) as delighted spectator. He thinks that my great fear of being electrocuted is hilarious! I am happy to amuse him, but I must say it felt somewhat humiliating when he pulled out his cell phone to film me putting one clamp on the battery and the other one on the chassis.

Anyway, I came to work in a terrible, lousy mood, and while I was at work waiting for internet to work, so I could get some reviewing done, unsuccessfully I may add, the notion came over me that there is a good chance the whole world is against me.

Sun made an appearance and showed off the winter dirty windows and lit up a sparkling ray of dust that hung in the room.

I daydreamed about a walk in the woods.

It was like nothing got done, so I figured that to cheer myself up, I should write a list of everything I have to be thankful for. Had I been in a good mood, the list would have been long and creative, now there was only one statement: Weekend is coming up soon! And this optimistic and motivational phrase I wrote down a Monday!

There are many reasons why days sometimes feel off and louse, and strictly speaking it is quite normal to have bad days. It doesn't have to be me there is something wrong with, sort of. Life is, after all, a rollercoaster of impressions and feelings, so things goes a little up and then a little down. You know, like it should. You can't taste the sweet if you don't know the sour or bitter.

It's just that... sometimes the lows are just overwhelming and feels neverending, the bad days come around more often and last longer. Eventually I somehow don't hold any big expectations that something good will happen.

Therefore, I have compiled some great tips online about what one can do when one is in a bad mood, to get in a better mood:

to socialize > meet friends

Excellent tip! If you have friends who are patient enough to bother try cheering you up at all hours. I have such friends! but I get so guilty knowing they are wasting a whole lot of time and energy thinking about me and my petty issues, I just crumble up inside.

So I spend the last two hours we are together apologizing I am such a bad friend. And then I feel even worse because the longer I listen to my own voice, the more excruciating I know my friends' night gets.

They're going to have a lot to talk about tomorrow ... and thinking about that doesn't make things better ... I know they will text each other, and others, with sighs and groans and the lamentable story of my puny person.

think through why you are in a bad mood / rectify the situation which causes a bad mood

If I knew why I'm in a bad mood, it wouldn't be a problem. Then I could have dismissed the whole thing as not important. In many ways I'm lucky to have my priorities in order. I know what's important in my life, and strictly speaking it's certainly not often important people in my life makes me crabby.

Things and situations, the yearning for a dream or memories I never got to experience; Those things can make me despondent and yes, straight out sulky.

training / go for a hike

Of course I know that you have to eat right and stay fit in order to be a healthy person. It's of crucial importance for state of mind and mood to get out and exercise; however, time is an issue here.

That said, I'll be honest. Last Saturday there was glorious weather. The sun was shining and the temperature outside was not pleasant, but quite nice. There was no wind and the whole atmosphere was like a touch of spring. Marvelous!

I did not go for a hike.

I could and should have gone for a ride on my bicycle with my son, I should have gone for a long walk with the dog, I missed the opportunity to post gorgeous pictures, like most of my facebook friends did.

But I didn't.

Instead I charged the scary, enormous pile of dirty clothes, towels and sheets with purposefully stifled; clothes were sorted, washed, tumbled, hung, folded and put in place, gradually, throughout the day and evening. I made a great Sunday dinner and cleaned the kitchen. I sat nestled in the new, yellow IKEA chair and read a book, and then it was suddenly evening and dark and the glorious day was over.

There was time to exercise, I had the opportunity too, but it was just that other stuff  was given priority. Chores that otherwise in a week is not done as systematically and thoroughly as I would like. I just needed to get rid of that  dark cloud of guilt which hovers over every day. Reading fiction I take almost no time for, even if it is pure mental hygiene.

At work, even if I depend on being present in the present with the students, my working day is so full of moments that go snowballed, that much of the time my mode is on autopilot.

There are always new classes, rooms and time. Here the classes have their own classroom, and teachers move between classes. I wish I had my own classroom.

Some days just flies by, with the help of nice and funny teenagers. Other days, like today, there is only negativity. Everything is "crap" and analysis of the short story is a true ... well, nothing good anyway.
It takes so much energy and effort to not be angry and mad at the wrong person.

It's not their fault that I'm not in a good mood, but their unwillingness to work in class on the tasks given does not exactly help my mood. Maybe it was me who ruined their day. I can never know, but no, it does not help to be officious today. It only adds reasons for my bad mood.

Listen to music

Later. On my way home I listen to the radiostation P4 and the show "King Of Pop" and laugh at the participant who fails the three artists. I will go shopping for groceries, and go home and make another 20-minute dinner while playing music full blast. Then I think I'll be happy again, maybe.

Music tends to help with anything that is not in order. The best therapy in the world is to lie on the floor while the music is pounding, and feel the rhythm, tones, words and mood wash over me.

cry 

I rarely cry. Most often it is when I see or hear something that moves me. It has almost never happened that I've cried because I have hurt or feel sorry for myself. Guess I have a good life. 

Oh, now I think about what a good life I have, and how difficult many others got it, and it makes me feel unreasonable for not being satisfied. You know, happy and satisfied because life has actually given me gifts like a good man, fine children, a good home, love, laughter, arranged finances ... everything just adds to the favorable feeling of having accomplished something.

Gratitude gives happiness and better handling of stress, they say.

comfort food

I belong to the club who believe that chocolate helps heal everything! Absolutely everything! But after eating lots of chocolate I feel so guilty that I put unrealistic plans on how to jog down the sidewalk with a happy dog ​​...

And then I remember that I do not exercise ... and then I think about how the scales never really has been my friend, and I turn both untrained and friendless with a guilty conscience ... inside my head, mind you, but that's where I feel the mood best, after all.

... And then days passed by, and every time I opened my blog to complete this post, I was totally disheartened and uninspired, for whom bear to just focus on the negative all the time?

To just see problems instead of challenges is not really me!
Actually, I'm the one who has realized and live by the rule: Wherever you are in life, thatit is the right place to start the continuation. It may be something better, different, new or something you put aside, and planned to pick up again later, sometime long ago.

Sometimes it just requires a little more planning, or willingness to implement even though you really do not have the energy. That's actually when you really need the satisfaction you feel afterwards, when you took that 40-minutes walk around the block.

Okay, so the sun shines out there today, and things got a little brighter (apart from my windows, I honestly am really disgusted by them!).

It's Sunday, and I'm thinking that Monday morning is quite OK, after all.

And now I'm humming as well. Guess internet was right: music did do the trick!

Letting myself down is tough.

I have become who I definitely would never be. It is so annoying. Not only have I turned out to be someone I dislike, I also failed to mould myself into a perfect triumph. You know, maybe not perfect, but perfect for.... well, me.

There was this plan, in my head I would be different from what I was forced by circumstances to be when I was young.

As an adult I would be bold, wild, vast and free, and because I had the choice to be all that, I would be happy with where I at all times were.

That is not at all how I turned out to be. Maybe I was before, maybe I'll be again, but right now I am just discontent and ungrateful. Oh, I felt my eyes twitching right now.

I sulk over whatever I find unpleasant in my life. I accept being a pathetic shadow of who I deep down believe I am.

In spite of knowing this I don't deal with my present, I ignore my hidden resources. I don't ignore and raise above the trifle hickups which serve as pebbles in my shoes. I don't face up to, or do anything constructive to make me capable to gather enough energy to turn my grumpyness around.

The sad part of it all is that to blame everything and everybody other than myself is like an instinct in me when I am frustrated. My best defence and excuse is to acquit myself.

Of course I know that at the end of the day my discontent is nobody else's fault but my own, but I don't like to recognize my own failures. Maybe I have too many, maybe I would be overwhelmed by my shortcomings, maybe I just happen to like living in a bubble of artificial selfconfidence: "It's not me, it's you!"

I would have to do some admissions and introspections to change my mood and point of view, which I'm not ready to do, yet.

Instead of admitting to I should show more engagement, initiative and interest, I wrap myself in self pity and rest my case in blaming uncontrolled circumstances.

That's really not who I am. I know what made me like this, and yet I avoid taking grip of my life.

Steve Harvey has repeatedly stated that to be successful you need to jump.

When you jump, you take a leap of faith, and place yourself into that insecure state of "the unknown".

It's been too long since I acted or placed myself out of my comfort zone. I used to be good at it when I was younger.

Now I have too many good reasons to stay where I am at.

I am aware of the fact that inside the comfort zone nothing happens; we deal with same old because we know what we have, but not what we might have.

The minute you do something out of normal, something extra ordinary will happen. Funny thing about extra ordinary: it's usually very good! Extra ordinary brings something new and by that also the possibility to adjust to a better situation. Yet, I (like most others) still try to avoid it.

I used to think that each their own forger of a good life. To be honest: I still believe that is true, but back then my strongest characteristic was to be creative.
My life was veiled in colours, sounds, actions and design. Hah, as induvidual and free I would like to call my past self, I was the typical, average creative person. Such an oxymoron, isn't it; to put creativity traits in a box.

Today, after pondering on my own discontent, I realized something important: I gave in a while back. Some time along the way I settled for good enough, rather than chasing my dreams. I suppressed a lot of my creativity blaming the stress mess I was caught in.

I am a quiet, calm person. It doesn't mean I'm not opinionated. I used to be a champ at achieving my goals.

By that I mean I thought I was chasing and achieving my goals.

What I was really doing was getting an education, a lot of it! I took so many degrees nobody will hire me now. I am too qualified, with tons of formal qualifications, tons and tons of prior learning experience, but no formal leader experience documented on paper. Still, I have the skills, habits and conduct of a leader.
I am too educated to be employed as a teacher in a new school now; I am too expencive. I am stuck where I work today. How pathetic is that?

The minute I got a family of my own, my goal was to create a happy and safe home for my family.
I went to the extremes and even planned what to do to maintain my kids' lifestyle and standard if my husband died. And I planned how my passing away will not affect their way of life too much.

Growing up I learned nobody must know. Some secrets you keep, so that others can have dignity and pride. If I was on top of things, I could prevent bad things to happen to others.

I did the expected thing and created a solid home for my family, while covering every possible outcome of disaster.

Now a lot of people are no longer part of, or even in, my life. In addition my young ones are more independent than they were. I have been a toddler's mom for 19 years. Getting used to I am not needed as much anymore, is hard to do.

A silent major change has taken place, and I didn't pay attention. Instead of becoming a freer person, I find myself in a position where I confuse opportunities lost with opportunities found.

The funny thing is: everybody else in my circle are really content. They really appreciate having the opportunity to choose freely what they want to make of themselves, and what to do.

So why am I stuck in the habit of limiting myself? Why do I feel my interests, wants and needs are not important enough to pursue?

My pondering made me realize that it's not reality which keeps me in a state of thinking how my actions will affect others in bad ways. There are no reasons why me changing focus should in any way give other people a hard time.

In my mind I create discussions on weather or not I should do something; if it is safe or not to change something because it would feel, look or perhaps work better. Often it's a matter of improving things, not repair them because they need fixing.

It's in many ways the same procedure I go through when it comes to throw something away; I deal with each item and detail as if it is of major importance, even though I deep down it isn't. The urge to keep, just in case I maybe need it some time in the future, is strong and inherited from my mother. (Yes, I blame her. She grew up during the war, and knows how to make use of what you have, and then recycle.) I know this, and yet it is so hard to ignore the voices telling me to keep it, keep it!

One of my all time wants, is to travel. I don't feel I get to travel and explore new places the way I want. Our family vacations tend to be a lot about amusement parks, water parks and beaches. Not my favourite cup of tea.
I would rather walk through an unknown village, discovering their ways and style. I would like to walk through a museum in my own pace and noone to call my name or tug my sleeve. I want to not eat at McDonald's. I want to sip to a glass of white wine, while watching people and reading a book.

By the time I have thought through my reasons why I should go for a long weekend by myself, and the importunate, more pressing reasons why I shouldn't, my kids have picked up on my intensions and tell me they want to go too, because there is a football match they really want to see live. And I feel awful about letting them down, leaving them or for some other reason start to doubt it is a good idea for me to go on a sole journey.

I know I think all this, and I know I am wrong. I am certain my family would really understand and condone my modest weekend of self fulfillment.

It's hard to be a loser. You get to the point when you expect to face another failure. I think maybe it's time I stop letting myself down.
Then, being a grumpy, old woman would be something I was in the past, and I would be the happy woman, in the best of ages, I truly am.

Grateful I know underestimated pleasures.

I am not a typical material girl, I don't think I am high maintenance either, but I have discovered the importance of pampering myself.
When I stumble upon a situation where I can find a tiny hint of pleasure I make the most out of the opportunity. No matter what stress mess I am in, I slow down and just indulge myself in the bliss offered.

In other words: pleasures in my life.

A few of my favourite moments of pleasure, in no particular order:

• Fresh, cool and clean sheets. (Yeah, I know. It pops up everywhere as an underestimated pleasure, yet we all change them way too infrequently.)
• A glass of cold, fresh and clean water. Better even: a glass of cold water with a couple of slices of lime and ice cubes in it.
• Eating berries off the brush.
• When the bus is on time, and so am I.
• Watching my kids sleep. (No, it's not creepy, just utterly peaceful.)
• Cheese with friends. And then a tasteful wine to swallow it down with.
• Watching, listening or reading, and noone tugs your sleeve.
• Traffic jam, but you know a shortcut, a legal one!
• Drinking a hot mug of coffee. Preferably while sitting at the front porch.
• Comfortable shoes.
• Picking flowers.
• Listening to the silence.
• Chocolate!
• A good hair day.
• A rowing boat, a rod and calm sea.
• Time on my hands.
• Laying in bed listening to a storm.
• Mail which is neither a bill, nor commercial.
• Candle lights.
• A smile and "Good morning" greeting.
• Walks
• .... and I am sure there are more. 

Read further under the picture.

Pluviophile - A lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.

• The things Marcus Aurelius was thinking of when he admonished us to “remember Nature’s inadvertence how it has its own charm, its own attractiveness.” His 14 virtues are still valid, I think. When they come naturally, that is. When they are an act, there is nothing more deceitful and ugly.

His list dates to 170 AD,  so this is really old stuff, and even though our pleasures may be slightly more modern and up to date, the truths beneath them (and their accidental or unintended beauty) remain the same.

-Auctoritas - "Spiritual Authority" - The sense of one's social standing, built up through experience, ---Pietas, and Industria.
-Comitas - "Humour" - Ease of manner, courtesy, openness, and friendliness.
-Clementia - "Mercy" - Mildness and gentleness.
-Dignitas - "Dignity" - A sense of self-worth, personal pride.
-Firmitas - "Tenacity" - Strength of mind, the ability to stick to one's purpose.
-Frugalitas - "Frugalness" - Economy and simplicity of style, without being miserly.
-Gravitas - "Gravity" - A sense of the importance of the matter at hand, responsibility and earnestness.
-Honestas - "Respectability" - The image that one presents as a respectable member of society.
-Humanitas - "Humanity" - Refinement, civilization, learning, and being cultured.
-Industria - "Industriousness" - Hard work.
-Pietas - "Dutifulness" - More than religious piety; a respect for the natural order socially, politically, and religiously. Includes the ideas of patriotism and devotion to others.
-Prudentia - "Prudence" - Foresight, wisdom, and personal discretion.
-Salubritas - "Wholesomeness" - Health and cleanliness.
-Severitas - "Sternness" - Gravity, self-control.
-Veritas - "Truthfulness" - Honesty in dealing with others.

And then I found this:

• To relieve stress must be a pleasure too, I think. It's just another of those pleasures we don't pay attention to, unless we go to some luxurious spa or a therapy session.

When we lead a stressful life, we have two options: we try to keep up, or we crack up.

Most of us wear ourselves out by trying to keep up the pace, do what we have to do and appear to be on top of things. We forget that to force ourselves to slow down and take time to charge the batteries saves stress; time even.

Now that I think about it, most of the points on my list have something to do with stress relief. 

At least to me they do.

One Whiff Of These 10 Scents Can Relieve Stress Almost Instantly

1) Lemon


Promotes concentration and allows the mind to calm especially when angry, anxious or very exhausted. Lemon boosts the body’s immune system, improving circulation and is known to reduce anxiety and depression.

2) Cinnamon


The stimulating properties in cinnamon can help fight mental fatigue and improve concentration and focus. Researchers from Wheeling Jesuit University studied participants and found that those who took a whiff of cinnamon improved in cognitive functions like visual-motor response, working memory and attention span.

3) Lavender


Lavender helps calm the mind and body almost instantly. But perhaps its most useful benefit is its ability to help treat insomnia. This essential oil has calming ands sedative properties that help control emotional stress. Lavender has a soothing effect on nerves and can relieve nervous tension and depression as well as treat headaches and migraines.

4) Rain


After a rainstorm, especially a rain storm that breaks a long dry spell, the world smells different.

The clean scent after a rainfall is partially caused by ozone cleaning away some of the scents we take for granted.

The smell of rain can literally relieve stress and improve your mood by over 60%

5) Fresh Cut Grass


Scent researchers found that a chemical released by a newly-mowed lawn can make people feel joyful and relaxed. The smell apparently is so powerful thatneuroscientists came up with a perfume and air fragrance that matches it so the lawnless can also reap the benefits of the feel-good scent.

6) Peppermint


Try peppermint when brainstorming. An energy booster, this scent invigorates the mind, promotes concentration and stimulates clear thinking.

Smelling peppermint is linked to greater cognitive stamina, motivation and overall performance.

7) Vanilla


In a study published in the Proceedings of ISOT/JASTS 2004, researchers found that taking a whiff of vanilla bean elevated participants’ feelings of joy and relaxation. The results were measured through mood mapping, which included emotions ranging from happiness and stimulation to apathy and irritation.

8) Rosemary


The stimulating effect of rosemary may enhance certain aspects of mental function. People who work in rosemary-scented cubicles have better long-term memory than those who worked in unscented cubicles. Rosemary improves long-term memory, alertness and has properties that fight physical exhaustion, headaches and mental fatigue.

9) Pine


Pine decreases anxiety and alleviates stress. In one Japanese study, participants who went on a walk through pine forests reported significantly lower depression and stress levels. The research also discovered that anxious subjects had a greater feeling of relaxation after indulging in the scent.

10) Jasmine 

Like lavender, jasmine it is also used to calm nerves, but this oil is also commonly used as an anti-depressant because of its uplifting capabilities that produce a feeling of confidence, optimism and revitalized energy.   (This article appeared first at Prevent Disease)

I don't know anything about the science behind how those scents affect us, but I do know I totally agree!

(Just think about what it feels like to get that christmas tree indoors (the real thing, not a plastic replica), straighten your back and inhale; Pure therapy.)

Seems to me I have a good life filled with pleasures. I just need to appreciate them more. And be more grateful.

When good tales are told.

Life is full of those all too familiar ups and downs. Situations we experience, see or hear about that create the everyday stories we remember for a short time. They turn into tales we tell to get sympathy or to make someone laugh. Sometimes we tell them to cause a bit of drama, other times we tell them to support someone, which may lead to the terribly unfortunate episodes of slander travelling across minor, or major, parts of people and area.

Sometimes the stories make an impact, other times they are just food for swift entertainment.

I am not good at telling stories, never have been. I can't even tell a joke properly. 

Actually I write a lot better than I tell, which is a strange perplexity to both me and others when you think about the nature of my profession: being a teacher.
A teacher should be good at telling stories.
A teacher should be able to get the students interested in any topic, just by adding "fun facts" and stories related to the topic.
A teacher should trigger all the knowledge a student has, which can be linked to, and fill in gaps, which they achieved on different arenas in the past. School is not a separate department apart from the rest of your life.
School is part of your breeding and growth, a compliment to all the other experiences and knowledge that you  acquire through life.

I often get students who claim they don't know English. They can't speak it, they can't write it. Of course it's just nonsense: they chat while gaming online, they listen to music with English lyrics, sing along even, they watch a lot of movies and they speak English when travelling abroad. But they think this is something different than the English they are supposed to perform in school.

Often my job is to push the right buttons and trigger their understanding of English and Norwegian  as English and Norwegian, and not English versus school English and Norwegian versus school Norwegian.

I try, it's not that I accept my shortcoming and admit to failure, but I trust my students to carry the story on and add the remarks and catchy associations. It works. It works the minute you make them pay attention.

Yesterday we had Global Dignity Day here at our school. HRH crown prince Haakon Magnus visited, and it was a surprisingly pleasant experience.

That too culminated in stories. Not mine, but the students' stories about what they understood dignity to be all about.
They told about everyday situations in which they had contributed to somebody else's dignity. Or when somebody else contributed to theirs.

We heard about young talent, making the wrong choices, siblings with extraordinary challenges because of some diagnose, we heard about hospitality, kindness to strangers, arrival to a new home country... the stories were many and ever so warm and told with heart.

Listening to them I was rather proud how their everyday, little stories showed what material these youngsters are made of. The stories they carried with them, and told with such shyness, defined dignity in brilliant ways.
Makes me think their tales of everyday life will improve in the future, just like good wine.

No, not really interesting, just a whole lot of other nothings.

Someone asked me: "Done anything interesting these last few days?" I sat there thinking through my routines, habits and doings, and I was totally sincere when I replied: "I never do anything interesting. I am pretty boring like that; I'm caught in everyday life, being busy doing a bunch of nothings all day long, just like everybody else."

Then I started to think my day through; What was my last 24 hours really like? What happened that made me remember the day as gone by just as sudden as a wink of an eye?

Well: Yesterday I woke up in panic. I had overslept. I have never been late for work, except for one year we had two days with snow and icy roads. Traffic just didn't move at all. I was late... but so were my students. Anyway, I have been on time for years and years, I wasn't going to be late now.

I am not really the kind of person who occupy the bathroom in the morning for an extensive length of time. I use very little make up and my hair is just straight and, well, not hair I need to spend time on. But I like to feel fresh...  my routines this morning went by in the speed of lightening, as opposed to my usual sedate listless speed.

I woke my youngest son up, made his breakfast and lunch and walked the dog while he got ready for school. When I got back from the walk I gathered my bags, and his bags and extra pair of shoes and a hat, got it all in the car and off we went.

I dropped my son off at the before- and after school program, and drove to work. I didn't even take time to stop at the gas station and grab my free cup of coffee, which I do every morning. I consider that elixir of life, and enjoy sipping to it while driving to work. It is how I get ready for the day ahead: driving to work. sipping coffee and thinking through the day's logistics.

I got a bit puzzled as I pulled up outside work: there were no cars at the parking lot.Usually we compete about the parking spaces... we, who teach at the remote department from the main schoolbuilding, rent parking spaces. We get a good price, though, but the fit, working out, tattooed Hells Angels-like, rough guys at the gym upstairs usually beat us to them. They don't pay for parking, why should they? There are free parking space, noone's car is there when they arrive.
Usually I have to park my car illegally during first lesson, waiting for the guys upstairs to finish their work out before work and take off. (Some times I run up the stairs and call out to whoever feels the shoe fits to move their car. Or... or... or else I will be very cross!)
A glance at the clock made me look twice: one hour early!

My poor 8-year old told me later I had treated him badly. Very badly! He arrived at the before- and after school program, and the door was locked. Because he thought maybe he was late as well, he walked to the school, only to find noone was there... so he walked back to the before- and after school program, and was the first kid to arrive that morning. He is never that early, so they asked him why he was so early and he told them we overslept... even he picked up on the strange looks the staff gave eachother.

On Wednesdays we always have meetings after classes. This Wednesday we were summoned to teamwork on evaluation- and curriculum. My team members were not present, they were scattered around doing other things; One was making a set of suggestions to exams, another was at the hospital supporting her daughter who was in labour.... you know: there are numerous perfectly good reasons why it is inconvenient to show up for teamwork.

My "teamwork" involved talking to coworkers who were supposed to engage in their own team's activity, and then I had a unit's meeting all by myself. Very efficient, but not very creative. Not quite sure what came out of it was of great quality either.

Came home from work, and charged my mobile phone while cooking dinner. It was low on power because I had been trying to update and upgrade the software all day, but didn't have enough space.

Went to my youngest son's schoolplay on Torbjørn Egner's "People and Robbers of Cardamom Town", which was a wonderful, very impressive show. I am so in awe over those teachers who make the young 8-year old pupils behave and act and remember the lyrics to songs and manuscript.

A couple of weeks ago my son wanted to fix his own costume. He was Jonathan, one of the robbers.
When he came downstairs and showed me what he was going to wear, the little rascal had found a pair of scissors and cut holes in a perfectly fine shirt and a pair of trousers.
He looked smashing!

So the show started and I had placed myself in a great spot for good shots... guess what: I had power enough, but not enough space, and I realised this when my videocam on the mobile shut down, just in time for my son to go on stage.  In panic I started to delete a lot of photos I had duplicates of, but I didn't get that done in time to record his performance.

Well at home again it was bedtime for my proud actor. I didn't have the heart to tell him my camera failed. I have always recorded all their performances, and I have always recorded the entire show. My mobile phone is just wonderful like that: LOTS of space and excellent quality on both picture and sound.

It took me quite a while to realize there was no hot water.
For many months there were countless attempts to get hold of our plumber. I sent text messages, emails, called him.... absolutely no response. My efforts to get hold of him were met by dead silence.

I found it very annoying because we had an annual service deal with him, and paid quite well for it too. Months went by, I gave up and contacted another plumber who was willing to take on the maintenance of the entire water and gas installation.
BUT, he was on a vacation and will not be back for another three weeks.

At 23:30 I sent a text to a friend of mine and asked if he knew about a plumber who was top notch and available to fix my problem the next day. An hour later I got an sms from a man I had never heard about before saying: "I will be there at 6, if you are not up by then, please leave the key under your mat".
I was up well before 6.

While waiting for a reply from my friend about the plumber, I sent text messages to other parents I knew had been filming the schoolplay and got hold of the scene I was missing. I transferred the pictures and videos on my phone to my laptop... and suddenly the software started updating too! (I know, I should at least have suspected memory was that low on space.)

Anything interesting? No, not really. Just a busy day doing a whole lot of everyday-nothings.
Hobbies? I have loads, and one day I will have time on my hands to try them out... meanwhile I keep trying to learn how to write.

Uncomfortable in this fast world.

On occasions I get invites to birthday parties, and other celebrations, where I expect there will be dancing, a couple of drinks, good food and a bunch of new people to meet and talk to.
It's something most would really enjoy and look forward to, I think.

I suspect most would even think I'm privileged to be so lucky I have friends who want to share their special events in my company.
But, and this may come as a surprise to many, I don't always feel like surrounding myself with people. I don't take a lot of room, you see. I am not one of those who enter a room and attract everybody's attention, some even demand that kind of commotion when they enter a room. I don't claim to be heard. I listen a lot more than I speak.
Being a good listener takes a lot of energy. It drains my energy to be attentive, and I know it will be more of an exhausting evening rather than a winding down and enjoy to the fullest.

I am one of those who really need to withdraw and absorbe the impacts I have been exposed to. I need to rewind and repeat and make my mind up about what was really said and done.
It doesn't mean I'm slow in any way. It means that I am in the habit of seeing things from different angles. I enjoy to put myself in other people's position; to mentally walk in their shoes.
Right then and there I make swift decisions, and from my stand they are, remarkably enough, the right ones most of the time.

We live in a fast world, an extrovert world, where those who speak fast and loud are paid attention to, where those who are amusing, witty and lively are those who get the network set. They promote themselves as entertaining and worth spending time and effort on.
Be heard and I tell you how skilled, capable and good looking you are.

I don't know what it's like in other cultures, but I know that western culture to a large extent values the outgoing ones a lot more than those who tend to keep more to themselves. I don't feel underestimated, mind you, I am just aware of the mainstream evaluation of people.
The extrovert versus the introvert.

I often see how fast people I regard as extrovert and outgoing become dependent on the positive feedback they get used to, and how devastating they feel the fall if they don't get the standing they expected.

I've always been the quiet type. But I also am quite confident in myself. I know who I am and what I stand for. I write a lot better than I talk (you can only imagine how bad I am at talking, then), but I always get my opinion across either way.

I know I have more than just a few strange characteristics like being quirky, eccentric, unenergetic, somewhat asocial (I love people, don't misunderstand me, I am just not very good with them in crowds), and I know many people perceive me as arrogant. luckily, my confidence has allowed me to look upon them as facets of my personality.

Actually it is rather nice to have such a rich inner life, and I know I am totally selfish when thinking like that. I give myself room to nourish my inner life; I read, write and listen; I think a lot. And I find I improve my skills to do so.
I listen to my own sounds, and thrive best when I can decide what sound I surround myself with. In a world so packed with noise, I don't really see that as a drawback. Especially young people shout when they believe they speak. I have noticed that in cartoons on TV the characters do too. I, on the other hand, love listening to music, honest conversations and silence alike.

I have a neighbor who love indie pop. During spring and summer he opens his doors and windows and turns the volume up. It really, really gets on my nerves. I tolerate it, but I admit it chases me indoors at times.

In spite of my own preferences I see the importance of living in the real world, and sometimes that means to neglect my own needs.

I thought I should find what good qualities people miss out on, when not appreciating the gentler personalities in our midst. So, here it is:

1. They create good atmosphere and whim in their environment.
2. They are good baromenters for when the atmosphere is not good enough.
3. They have a positive impact on the physical and psychological environment.
4. They have an advanced sense of coworkers' temper, strengths and weaknesses.
5. They have outstanding ability to concentrate and focus.
6. They possess an inherent high degree of disciplinarity.
7. They inherent strong values and hold strong ethical and moral standards.
8. They work through ideas and add more nuances and impacts.

Great stuff, unfortunately I can't claim to have these effects on my immediate environment. I am not really sensitive nor gentle, I'm not introvert either (actually I am, but I like to just say I'm shy to the limit of arrogance). At the end of the day I think I just challenge people's patience by being strange... BUT, I've been told I am a good friend.

Wholly Qunide.

As humans, we have many roles, and each of the roles we perform have different expectations associated with them, which can be confusing enough to anybody. I am not seen as a mother when I'm in the classroom, and my kids can't even imagine what I'm like as a teacher.
Juggling between wearing the various hats of daughter, sister, grandchild, spouse, girlfriend, best friend, career woman, colleague, employee, mentor, mother, motivator, team player, role model, cook, cleaning worker, repairman, purchasing manager, personal shopper, Queen of the house (yeah, I allow myself to call me that, living with a husband, three sons and a male dog) and all the other roles I encounter in my everyday life, it all boils down to one thing: I am a woman.

Now, the thing is being a woman in Norway today is a term which is rather open for discussion and interpretation. We are allowed to choose our own path in life and lifestyle, but it has not always been so.

In Norwegian the word for woman is "kvinne", and this is what the encyclopedia says about "kvinne": 

The word "kvinne" is derived from "kone" (= wife) who was the common word for woman in old Norwegian. The word is found in the English queen. "Kone" has today somewhat changed meaning into "married woman" or "old woman." Another word for "kvinne", "kjærring" (=old woman, but is not a very positive term), is derived from the old Norwegian "karl" today "guy". From German we have the words "frue" (=mistress) and "jungfrau" > "jomfru n." (=virgin) (which originally meant "young lady"), while French has given the Norwegian madam (actually from Spanish meaning "my wife") and Mamsell (a folk form of Mademoiselle, ie "Miss "). Madam has the same origin as lady, namely the Latin domination, ie "mistress." 

"Woman" is used in Norwegian usually about adult female subjects in general, but the word can also denote a person of the female a man has sexual relations with, a wife or mistress, for example in expressions such as "she is his woman." "Woman" can also be used if a person with traditionally female characteristics, such as talk of ways like "she is completely through a woman" or "to be Quinde with big Q". (http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kvinne)

Hah, that turned out to be a totally pathetic attempt to translate a wikipedia article about a Norwegian word into English, but you got the essence, I suppose.

Chart of the young woman's "two roads"

from the early 1900s:

The woman who flirts and liver dissipated,

are shunned as 40-year-old,

while the conscientious and caring

becomes a chaste grandmother when she turns 60.

To call me a Quinde (assembles "Queen" a lot, don't you think?) with capital Q would be to exaggerate a tiny bit; In the traditional sense I'm probably not as pink as many others. Although I do have a pink helmet at work, real VIP style, pink headphones and a pink pencil case, but that is a strategic thing more than preference of colour, because men, regardless of age, are not so eager to make things which are pink disappear.

Sometimes I think of what it must be like to live a long life. Imagine having lived for 80 years, for example.

Think about how the world, country, city, town, countryside, homes has changed during that time!
Moral, clothing, utilities ... a trifle thing as to pay the bills has become something completely different than it was when they were young.

Those who are old today had to comply with a rapid development which only escalates and spins out of controle  into eternity, at all levels and areas.

I am so impressed with elderly people who manage on their own.

It is not just that I'm a woman, but I'm a woman born and raised in the western world in modern times.

And the thing is: I resist to be merely a woman: I want it all! And I'm totally aware that can be perceived as if I'm basically selfish. And I might just be that, although I personally think I stretch myself in all directions to meet all the needs everybody I surround myself with have.

While I'm running around like a headless chicken to get everything I as a mother should have time and energy to do, a murmuring thought in the back of my mind reminds me about all that I really want, wish for and like to achieve.

I have a marriage, children, a kind of career, and often perform like a true artist, but I would rather prefere to travel and experience adventure. I want a well kept kitchen garden, a shabby chic home, deep, meaningful friendships and I would like to speak at least 6 languages fluently (and I do not mean random phrases I impress my surroundings with after two glasses of wine).

I have a longing to go to a museum for an entire day, all by myself, without my mobile phone, without anyone pulling and tugging my sleeve or shouting my name.
I want to go out and not eat at McDonald's. And then I want time in the bathroom completely alone without anybody rattling the door handle.

I want wine and song, and still be a good girl. I'd love to be able to express my feelings in an eloquent way ... but most of all I have a desire to be and do better, although that is a constant exhausting project which involves nerves. Self-realization is exhausting. Mostly because of that "feeling" ... I'm not getting anywhere.

Women are often known to exaggerate and over react because of meaningless details, and we claim the right to change our minds, whatever bad timing.

Yes, we would like to have everything, and yet ...

As I sit here in my comfortable bubble, which often is about to burst from an overload of impressions, expressions and pressure constantly threatening circadian rhythm, I find that my capacity for empathy is constantly challenged.
Increasingly, we get news about what women's lives are like elsewhere. Places where women represent such a big threat that they must be suppressed and humiliated. These giants of brave everyday heroes; because they are not men, they get punished.

"You were raped? Well, then you shall receive 90 lashes." "You are a minor, lovely girl on the threshold of curious youth?  I just as well steal you, your identity and your life and sell you off, just because."

Reality hits me in the head like a sledgehammer, my lack of own time, and my hunger for time and self realization somehow doesn't taste as good anymore. I am so blessed to have my life, regardless of my petty discontent.

In Norway we have a Women's Group called "Ottar".  For some reason these suffragettes don't have a good reputation. For some reason they are tried ridiculed and explained away. They do the unpoplular thing; to point at what's not right. This week they call for a boicot of the movie "Fifty Shades of Grey". (The link is to a related story in Time.)

Others use their skills and talent to do the same thing, only using more of their sense of humor... Like Ellen Degeneres in TheEllenShow.

It is so easy to forget, in the middle of our giggles, that these women (and men, let's not forget there are those who really speak up for women's rights), those who use their resources and talents to improve women's lives and reputation in the best way they know how, standing on the barricades and act as brave social activists, have through their social commitment given me the opportunity to be me.

What's for free and as of now.

Life is a journey. It took me a while to understand that you can enjoy the ride, rather than being hasty and only set future goals.

When I was a kid and we went on a summer vacation, we never stopped unless we had to stop and wait for a ferry. Other than that we just charged on. We passed the beautiful sights tourists from all over the world come to Norway to see, in an impressive speed to get to the next ferry on time, and we never stopped to buy luscious strawberries and cherries.
I never learned to appreciate the journey. I loathed the trip; I just wanted to get there!
We owned an Austin Maxi, it was crowded with bags and other luggage, two adults, four kids and a dog... and the only aircondition was opening the windows. Not all the roads had asphalt... Often the Border Collie and I would lay in the rear window on the hat rack. In those days that was acceptable. A huge no no these days (thank heavens!).

One summer we went to Germany. Of all ironic places we could go, we drove "Die Romantische Strasse". Hah! In the new Saab, (still no aircondition, but with a somewhat limited cool air system) and a rented caravan, we never really stopped anywhere. There was no lazy admiration of the surroundings.
I don't think my parents even knew how to do that. We stopped for the night at the nearest campground when it was time.

I still remember one afternoon we had to drive through the village to get to the campground. The streets were so narrow we had to fold in the mirrors on the car. We worried we would never be able to leave. When we parked the caravan for the night it was getting dark, and all the colorful lightbulbs decorating the gypsies' caravans were lit. It was beautiful! I was not allowed to leave the caravan at all, not untill we left the next morning.

One day, on a narrow road, in the middle of an endless  grain field; nothing to be seen anywhere but aboundance of grain and the sky, my mother lost it and burst into tears. We stayed in Detwang, just outside Rotenburg ob der Tauber, for two days before we started driving back home. The only tan any of us got on that trip was my mother's arm, from elbow to her hand.

My parents handed down the attitude of getting there. I have travelled quite a bit, but not untill recently did I discover one can slow down and ignore the clock. There is no need to hurry up because you are almost late. Some times you get there on time, and some times you can just stroll and enjoy and get there when you get there.

Sometimes life itself is like that. Even though we have a lot going on, we tend to look forward, what things will be like in the future.
I, for one, always have plans and dreams for what things will be like when...

To slow down and enjoy the roses I come across as I keep up everyday, is something I need to remind myself of.

I would hate to end up like in the song: "... life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."



And the present, what you need to enjoy what is here and now, is actually free, and of no charge.




.

Time-manage ment

A new year, full of great hopes that this year, finally, my resolutions will be fullfilled. This time I won't desperately hang on to my intentions, only to realize time after time how I fail.
This year things will be better. I will do better. Life will be better.
I don't really know why I wrote that last statement, because I have a good life. I have nothing to really complain about, so when I say "life will be better" it is mostly because it's a cliché I feel almost anticipated to strive for.

The only thing I have given some profound reflection on is the stressmess I constantly find myself in.
I work full time, I have kids who need follow-up in school, sports they are active in, and of course just attention for the sake of bonding.
I have a house and a home which needs tending: shopping (which I really don't like but still have to do), cooking, cleaning, laundry and mending clothes (Where do all the the sweatsuits and towels come from? When did we get hold of it all? How did it all end up in the laundry basket with ripped holes and seams?) , tidying up toys and dishes and the constant chase to keep up my intention of placing everything at its place.
My dog needs its walks, my friends deserve attention, and I really, really deserve a hot cup of coffee now and again.

My familie has paid attention to my complaints about how I never have time to read much, so for christmas I was given a few books. I still haven't had time to read them, and yesterday I was really upset about that: at my work's general meeting our principal decided it was appropriate to give a detailed summing up on two really good books he was given, and had read, during the holidays. I got both.

Anyway, in order to pursuit the quest of becoming a better person I have been reading up on time management. I thought that since it's true that to earn money you must spend money, the same thing goes about time: To save time you must spend time.

The vast amount of books, blogs and articles which have been created to address the concepts of time management is almost unbelievable. I found countless of seminars on the subject too. I never thought it was such a big issue. I’ve been soaking up information on how others bring order to their lives, creating more time and taking better advantage of the time they have.

I took time I don't have to read about time management and how to get time to do everything you want or need to do.
I read through a lot of online articles. I picked up a recommended book about it. I talked to a couple of people who say they got it all under control.

I can't believe how structured people's lives are. They can set off time to do just about anything they want. Anything from crafts, golf, gardening... to reading.

A couple of hours into me ploughing through the literature I found a distinct difference between men and women. Now, I admit it could be just fluke created from my selection, but even though the tips for good time management are aimed at all layers and genders I was struck by how many time management gurus are men. And most women don't tell me how to make "me"-time happen, but they are eager to tell me why I should schedule "me"-time.

I suspect only people getting paid to find out how to spend time more effectively have the kind of luxury it is to spend time thinking out strategies on how to spend time the best way in order to do what you want, and need to, do.

Taken ill the sorry way

Feeling very sorry for myself right now. I thought I had a cold, but that can't be right... not the way I feel, and for how long I've felt this way: I am sure I've got a flu. And it's bad. I am usually spared from tummy bugs, and I boast and behave overbearing when my coworkers have sickness absenteeism, but I am really not good at being sick myself. Actually I think I am perhaps the worst patient ever; I whine and moan and tell everybody polite enough to listen... or pretend to listen. I'm comforted either way.
I have barely any patience with sulking hypochondriacs myself, so I know they are far nicer to me than I deserve. Today I am well enough to realize that.

A week ago, on Saturday, I felt at unease, Sunday I got terrible muscle knots in my back and a temperature. I was pretty ok as long as I didn't move at all. I wasn't pretty ok much; those who live with kids know that staying immovable is not always an option... in fact: it's not an option at all.
I took a lot of muscle relaxing painkillers that day, not too many, mind you, but I maximized recommended amount of all the pills and mixtures I could find.

Monday I had a headache. My eyes were red and puffed and I looked as if I had cried my eyes out... all day. My students took one quick look at me and worked with their tasks in the most devoted way. They display lovely empathy some times.

To minimize the alert factor and avoid students asking too many questions I powdered my face regularly. As a result I looked as if I was wearing a strange mask falling off in layers and flakes. To be honest I'm not sure it improved my appearance any, it is possible I looked worse.

Yesterday I clogged up and my head felt like a pressure tank unable to explode. The outside world sounded muffled and wrapped in cotton, but inside my head I could hear these loud creaking noices and the sound of bubbles popping inside my nose. Much like thick ice breaking on a lake.
I used any remedy found in the medicine cabinet, and then some home remedies suggested to me in what must have been my friends' desperate attempt to shut me up. It was a quest of finding a cure allowing me to breath without gasping for air.
Something, or everything, or the combination of it all, and perhaps some time, must have helped.

Today I feel fine! A week of agony is over! I find myself cursing every day I feel great and take it for granted.
My coworkers greeted me good morning when I arrived for work this morning, like they do every morning, and when I greeted them back I got standing ovation.