New Year 2018

I don't know what 2018 will have in store for me, those I care for or anyone else for that matter. 
Only time will tell. It is like as if the thrill and the fright of the unknown future kicks in, just because this is the time of year that we stop and think about it. This is not just another day, this is when we enter the unknown future. Of course future is always unknown, noone knows what it will be like, but that is just life, right? Tonight we say "Thank you for the old year, and happy new year". 

I have no definitive resolutions. Can't say I'm going to do anything wonderfully different or magical. I can't promise I will be extraordinary or anything. I'm going to simply be a better me. To the best of my abilities I will keep doing the right thing, and live up to the values I admire in others.

I wish for others the same I wish for me. That you somehow, through any challenges, heartaches or obsticles you may have, be a happier and more successful version of yourself.
Make an effort to be the best version possible of you.


Life is both amazing and pretty cool sometimes.

Because as disappointing it may feel, we can not know true content or happiness until we get a taste of sadness, anger, grief, frustration, disappointment and failure; all of the tough emotions that shape our daily lives.


The good, bad, ugly and beautiful.
Roll with it and enjoy the ride. And when things get rough you find that core of inner strength you need to overcome.


And yet I wish for you that 2018, this New Year, brings you real happiness and joy.

A season fit for failure

Every season has its story.

My story this time of year is end of term, end of schoolyear, exams and lovely weather. 

It never fails: when it is time for exams, the weather is at its best. This is the season for lovely, hot weather and sunshine from blue, blue sky. Not a cloud in sight, and barely any breeze.

Exam really means sweat and tears around here. In buckets!

It is time to sum up everything done, everything left out, everything missed and everything we never got time to get done.

This is the season for the feeling of shortcomings. There are no good hairdays.

For my part, it's not only true for work, even though I may feel it more, as I am a teacher, but I have kids in school as well. And to be a parent these days means you need to be forever young, otherwise you have lost on behalf of your kid.

My 15-year old has finished junior high school, and now is on the threshold of making the choice which to a large extent will decide which occupation he will have for the rest of his life. 

Well, it's not really carved in stone, but very few take the extra burden it is to start anew to get the education they discovered they actually really wanted.

Although... my oldest son is unsure of his choice and is playing with the thought of continuing school and get a higher education. He has an education, and is very good at it too, but he struggles to face doing it for the rest of his life.

I can only ensure him he will get my entire support, whatever his decision will be. 

Apart from all of these lifechanges my kids are facing, which takes a lot of time and conversation, every activity they participate in has some kind of summer celebration, marking end of season.

Barbeques, games, hikes, sleep overs... and at work it is the same. All the teams and departments I am a member of, as well as the entire staff combined, invite me to pubs for a beer or a glass of wine, barbeques, boat trips... lovely, adult unwinding. I never get to go to any of them.

Through out the year I used to rush home from work to get dinner finished in time for whatever was on today's schedule. 

This time of year I rush home to avoid those last minute's tempting invites, put on my running shoes and play with kids, engaging in water fights, throwing darts at ballons and treasure hunts. 

And then the obligatory barbeque, which involves hotdogs, buns, ketchup, mustard (for those a bit daring) and crisp fried onion. 

Kids are not very adventurous when it comes to barbeques, or maybe they are just not patient enough to wait for that perfect, marinated steak with baked potatoe.

Anyway, by the time the schoolyear is over, the end of season gatherings are as well.

My 9-year old's soccer team announced a game between the boys and the mothers.

I had every intention to participate, but... my body ached, my head was spinning, my feet felt like soar concrete... I didn't have a crumble of energy in me, and all I could think about was the neglected mountain of laundry at home. 

So the mums played a heroic match with me on the sideline. And they won. Mums 5- Sons 4.

My son asked me why I didn't play.

I didn't know how or what to answer him, and that's when I lost.

Only for a brief second, though; He was generous enough to give me a second chance, and his reply was swift and obviously prepared: 

"That's ok, you'll be on the team when season starts, and the mums play against the dads".

Oh, joy.

Resolutions.

And then the new year is on. We write 2016 (unless you like me are stuck on 2015 and still sign documents a year back). The resolutions for the new year are dusted off from last year, and we try again.We do, to a large extent, create our days, so lets get started!

"It's a New Year, and I will start being the new, and better, me!" We hear, and read, it everywhere. At least these few first days after New Year's eve. It's like we are caught in the mainstream of changes.

I have read quite a few blogs on the topic lately; 5 days ago was like an explotion of people who went online to announce to the world what a better person they were going to be. Better in the sense of meeting what they thought society would like them to be: slimmer, healthier, more fit, and great at time management... and picking up hobbies they always wanted to do.

I am not sure if giving up a lot of food, smoking, drinking and pleasures of shopping make us better people, but by all means; It might have unthought of side effects.

In my opinion new year's resolutions are absolutely wonderful when you lack motivation. When we start a new year, it's a new beginning, which we percieve as a legal, or just, time to change our ways. We don't have to explain our issues, we just explain our new ways by "it's a new year's resolution", and we go "Ahhhh, right". Much like when we reply "Sorry, I'm busy"; it is a legit excuse for every possible shortcoming.

Because of the unfortunate fact that other people may not always understand our issues, this time of year gives us a legit reason to adress what we feel is not optimal, acceptable even, in our lives, and it should be grasped with both hands. Unless you are quite content embracing being less than perfect... like me.

I think new year's resolutions are a great way for people to give themselves the motivation to do something good for themselves. Of course, in some cases, it is a burden of self-imposed agony and force. Simply because often we know things have to change, but we don't really want to.

When other people announce their resolutions, it may be a good idea to jump on board. Make a deal to get on with it together. It is such a bummer to admit you have not done your part... but even a bigger pleasure to say you have done well. If the resolution is to go for a walk at set times, it is easier to skip the walk if you are the only one who will ever know if you actually did it.

There are a lot of reasons why you shouldn't commit to any new year's resolutions, though. They all boil down to the chance you may let yourself down, again. You can't fix a zillion flaws and "if onlys" just because you wish they would. I hate the feeling of letting myself down. And then I let myself down even more, by blaming others, even though I know it's my own fault.

Timmy Grasshopper sings it so beautifuly in Pinoccio:

When You Wish Upon A Star

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you.

If your heart is in your dream

No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do.

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Suddenly, it comes to you
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

When a star is born
They possess a gift or two.
One of them is this
They have the power to make a wish come true.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you,

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do.

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing.

Like a bolt out of the blue
Suddenly, it comes to you
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true.

A lovely song and a wonderful thought, isn't it? Unfortunately it isn't true. I have watched weight loss reality programs, dating reality programs, personal finance reality programs, redecorating/upgrading/redoing house reality programs... and there is one thing they all have in common: something must be done, for changes to happen.

You can't sit in your bed eating chocolate, wishing you were four sizes smaller, expecting to shrink while at it. I wrote about how losers lose some time ago... it doesn't work. I tried.
There is no way Prince Charming will turn up, out of the blue, knock on your door and ask you to marry him.
You can't buy a lot of stuff and then buy a vacation, maximizing your credit card, again, and wish you had a bit more slack on the finances.
Unless you tend to your house, it will rot, with you in it.

When we dream, we can be anything we want. It is a good thing to dream, it is important to have dreams. In reality it's not that simple. It takes a set goal, hard work, patience and a bit of help on the way. The energy you spend being euphorically excited about it during that intoxicating hours after midnight doesn't change much.

I am not getting any younger. But these days 45 is not really getting on a bit: it's the best of ages. To me it is, anyway. There are things I have not done, because I thought I was too old, too big, too busy... The list of excuses was long, and to be honest... just pointless, but convenient, excuses.

Now is my chance to sit down and prepare a list of important lifestyle changes I want to make, waiting for me to get younger is pointless. I can't make it happen just by willpower, alas.

My Valentine

It's just been that time of year, when people of all ages in the USA focus on hearts, cards and flowers. Valentine's Day, February 14.

Here, Valentins day is really no big deal.... actually only shops try to make us mark the day in a kind of special way... and they do a good job at it, but we don't have the tradition, the mentality or the confident awareness of what it should be like to be really a marking of a romantic evening.

Looking at my American friends, and Americans in general's postings on social medias, I have to wonder if all the pouting from unsatisfied girlfriends and the chase for good enough love tokans is worth it?

The pictures posted on facebook and instagram makes me really wonder if spending time together is such a rare occasion that it is crusial to pose, and take the picture of a happy couple... and then make the meal last forever by posting the picture of the plate served... before you start eating. I can only imagine the scenery and the conversation as the upheaven takes place.

I probably should admit that secretly I feel a tiny bit envious on these couples making an effort to revive romance in their relationship. It is special to dress up and set off an entire evening to the mission of making the other significant partner feel special.

Hours, days, weeks, months, years pass by so quickly, and in the midst of everyday most of us are really not good at saying something extra nice to the one we love. We don't create that special setting to show off what's in our hearts. We don't spend time planning how to please the other one the most.

But: we live, eat, talk, laugh, frown, fall asleep on the couch, watch TV, do the laundry, and all the "nothings" that make up our days.

We forget to talk, to communicate, with one another. I know it's easy to think "He knows me by now, he should know this without me saying", but when we stop talking, and telling, it is easy to think we stop caring. We get caught in a cycle of discontent, and nothing grows as solid and durable as that.

Some times the nicest thing we do to eachother all day is hold in that instant harsh comment so totally uncalled for, and yet so tempting to make.

All marriages, any relationship, actually, have their ups and down. It's easy to say "Never give up", but sometimes all you really want is to get away. Maybe not for good, but for a while. Just to get some space to breath and be yourself. But the words "I'm leaving" holds room for interpretations we never intended.

The things he or she did, which you once thought cute, just turn annoying because we tried to change our partner into more like us. We want things done the way we do them.

I, for one, struggle with this. I think I give him the slack he needs to bother do what he sees needs to be done. And (this is something I am rather proud of) I don't follow him around and straighten up the things I feel should have been done differently. If he dresses the kids, I don't make him change their jumper because I feel another one would be more appropriate or fitting. I don't fold the towels again; the right way. I let him clean the floor without pointing out the spots he misses out...
Most of the time. But I struggle. Especially since I am alone with the kids two or three weeks at a time. And then he comes home from work, and reign the house on his own during daytime and messes up all the routines and order I have created during his absence.

To stand corrected no matter how hard you try can be really discouraging. We, especially women I am sad to say, tend to forget that. And when he does nothing we complain about that too. Oh, that was such a bad thing of me to write, but I see many couples struggle with issues like that. In all fairness: we do too.

So, we don't go out on Valentine's Day, if he ever brought me flowers on any day of the week (or weekend) I would get suspicious wondering what he had been up to. Even though I love chocolate I would feel fat if he bought me any... unless it's a special occasion there is no winning.

The little things we do: the stroke on his back as he passes by, the "hi, how was your day?", the dinner on the table, soup or any other in-a-pot-dish reheated, straight from the freezer in the store, the eager to do the laundry, even though it always makes me feel like I have gained weight because they shrunk two sizes...

When we stop and think and realize the little things we do to show we care it means so much more to our relationship than a planned day out to show our friends how much we invest in our life together... (the long sentence only illustrating the length of my marriage...ehm)

BUT, that being said: it would have been nice to have one night out a year, in the name of old fashioned courting... you know... just because.

When the prise is Brilliant and Shiny

It's that time of year when I'm struggling to see the humor in how children's sports are run here in Norway.

MInd you, I am not thinking about the coaches and arbitrators and all the other adults who get involved to keep teams and athletes in active exercise. They do a great job! They sacrifice time, energy and social life to organize children's sport and interest. Through all kinds of weathers, they are out there, on the field and track helping to educate children to become active, team oriented people. They do it voluntarily and without payment.
When my boys with brilliant and shiny eyes hold a trophy in their hand after a chaotic tournament, I must admit that I feel a lump in my throat while I think of the great adults who have made it possible.

No, I think about the funding of sport.

In the United States, and many, many other countries, sports are driven through school. If you play football or chess, you represent your school. When you play in bands or is a gymnast, you do it for your school. It costs the kids time, and there is an expression called "soccer mum", which describes parents who sacrifice time to watch the kids when they are active, and otherwise support the team.

Here in Norway we have sports teams, or athlete clubs, and although they are run on a voluntary basis, nothing is really free and it costs money. Sportssuits and shoes we have to buy and pay yourself, but the club keeps equipment, firld, court and hall. They also pay insurance on the kids ... as soon as parents pay the yearly fee.
But then comes the central organs of sport.

I have two boys playing soccer. I am very proud of them and I see how they grow from playing matches. They understand how to be good losers, but even more important: They learn how to be good winners.

But. Each year NFF (Norwegian Soccers association) send out raffles to be sold. The two boys get 20 scratchcards each, valued to Nkr 30, - to be sold "door to door." My boys do not go on doors to sell lottery tickets. They know that all the other kids in the street, both football, handball, showjumping and other sports will go in the street and sell the scratchcards to their lottery... at about the same time of year. There are too many "no, I'm not having any" and "I don't have any cash at home."
We don't have family who live in the area either, which many depend upon for selling. So the invoice, that total nkr1200, - (about $200,-) that are included in the envelope with the scratchcards, gets paid, and we are stuck with a lot of scratchcards, we bought ourselves.

In mid-November, advent calendars arrives in the mail. 11 scratchcard-calendars each, 2 boys, equals 22 pieces a nkr 50, - to be "sold door to door." For the tidy sum of nkr 1100 - (about $ 180,-) It's no surprise that my boys do not go to our neighbors' doors to sell calendars. They know that all the other kids in the street, both football, handball, showjumping and other sports go in the street and sell ... at the same time of year. There are too many "no, I'm not having any", and "I don't have any cash at home".
We don't have family who live in the area either, which many depend upon for selling. So the invoice accompanying the advent calendars gets paid, and we are stuck with a lot of scratchcard-calendars, we bought ourselves.

And I have not even mentioned the huge bags with rolls of toilet paper (about $190,-) stored in the shed, and which we got invoice for, to pay for the tournament for boys 8 years old. We could sell them off, but everybody is selling toilet paper because... well, because. It's almost as if it's mandatory, like scoutgirls' cookies.

None of us can bear the thought of scratching calendars every day, from December 1 to December 24. it becomes an insurmountable and time-consuming project. By January I set off one evening and find the coin. The deadline to submit raffling with prices is March 31.
The boys join me for as long as they can be bothered, but it doesn't last long. Somehow there is no motivation in it for them when one route after another thanks for the support, but "Thank you for your support" gives no hope of a price.

2013 the advent calendars were red. Then I won Norway's, perhaps the world's, most expensive micro fiber cloth. That's it. A microfiber cloth.

2014 the advent calendars were purple. Yesterday I got two envelopes in the mail. Each of them contained two long teaspoons in stainless steel. I think I've got Norway's, perhaps the world's, most expensive teaspoons ... but they were at least brilliant and shiny.

New Year's Eve together.

Celebrating an event or occasion alone with the kids isn't really the most festive thing to do, neither for me nor the kids. We have different expectations to what makes a great party, so it was with profound relief and gratitude we agreed to come and celebrate the evening with my best friend and her family. 

Last year we  celebrated in my house. She was alone, with children well to note, I was alone with the children, and we invited a single friend who had nothing more exciting to do. 
There is only one thing more sorry than to celebrate something and you are the only adult, and that is to be utterly alone. (I've tried both, so I know a little about that.)

Children have so much to do, and they will happily do things on their own, so you are left to have soulful conversations with yourself. One can always knit, but how fun is that, on New Year's Eve, when you know the entire world is out there welcoming the new year having a blast?

Anyway, a year ago we were three ladies and three children, and we had a real nice evening. A lot of good food, snacks and good-natured fireworks. 

This year (or, strictly speaking, last year, but you know what I mean) we were invited home to her family.
That is ... until she called me and told that she had lent her house to her son, who had invited so many guests with babies, that they were tight on room  when the babies should sleep.
BUT we were welcome to spend the evening in his apartment.

Well, it's not exactly the same as being in a familiar and accustomed place, so I said that we could be at my place.
Since she had invited us, and then given away "the premises" to someone else, she insisted on cooking. She is so generous that it sometimes becomes a strain, but it is always well intended ... and it's really heart-warming to be taken care of like that. Annoying because I can make do on my own, but at the same time nice.

She arrived bringing turkey, sprouts, ready peeled potatoes ... a pot with some carrots (the rest lay in her driveway, but she had a pack of carrots for me to peel), a delightful mashed rutabaga and sauce.
A single friend was bringing a Waldorf salad (someone other than the previously mentioned ... but she also came; they both had nothing better to do).

I went to the store to buy milk, and met a woman I know who said they had no plans, so I invited them as well. The more, the merrier. She insisted on bringing something. She couldn't come without bringing something to the table... so we agreed she could bring a cake.

Just before dinner on New Year's Eve, I learned that a neighbor family would be celebrating alone, so I sent a text message and asked them over after dinner. They could certainly come to dinner, but I knew they had already cooked a tasty meal.

The guests arrived and waited for us to serve dinner. While waiting, my friend's husband found every adult a unique mug and offered the adults coffee. I tried to tell him where the good cups were, but he didn't listen. Our diverse collection of mugs with photos, commercials, soccer teams, names and chips were handed out and appreciated. That's when I tell myself "I'm just normal, we all have those mugs, the difference is just they probably hide them when having people over. Oh, why didn't I hide them? Why didn't I find the good cups and set them on the counter before they arrived? Men!" 
My frustration didn't last long. It's not the night for being hung up on petty details.

For dinner we were a healthy bunch of 16 people. Lovely!  Then came more guests, and it was time for the children's first round of fireworks. We never buy big packs with large rockets, but there is a lot of the smaller kind which makes noise and sparks and that kids like.

The dog behaved fine, with only a few, frustrated yelps, but he got so much attention that he completely forgot about all the bangs, howls and milling outside.

And there was coffee ... the kids came, grabbed a treat and quickly disappeared into the basement to play games... and the TV was off, that alone was absolutely lovely.
In Norway, when we invite someone over for coffee, or we "have coffee" during a party, there is always cake, cookies, ice-cream and/or sweets. It's like a meal holding everything you shouldn't eat. Ever so yummy!

We had barely swallowed away the first sip of coffee before a father burst out "Hey! Look at the clock, only 5 minutes to midnight! We must get out! Get the kids!"

Jackets, shoes, protective goggles, sparklers and lighters lying in a huge pile in the hallway, was quickly sorted, put on or put in pockets.
The rest of us adults came rambling along in a more leisurely pace and we managed to get outside in time, shout "Happy New Year!", throw our arms around everybody's neck to steal a lot of good and warm hugs, before we went back inside to finish our coffee. 
The men, and those who needed some extra fresh air, were left to supervise the kids and the fireworks.
They kept going for a long time. A very long time. 

We forgot about the champagne. We forgot about the non alcoholic pink champagne for the kids.

It turned out to be a family-friendly celebration of the new year. High spirits, good humor and good friends.
Some might say that it was hospitable to open the house in this way, but it's really not. The house has room for people, and I am not afraid of anything breaking or a little mess. Besides, guests are usually very good at doing the dishes. I am eternally grateful that I have people around me who did not want me to be alone.
Although I am often alone (I even thrive in my own, quirky company), I don't really mind. I am never lonely, you see. But sometimes it's good to have company.

I try to follow the golden rule: Invite others into your life. Kind of strange, since as a person I am rather private, I really don't reveal too much about myself, but I do enjoy the company of others. It's not certain they accept the invitation, but give them the opportunity to choose.
Having the option makes all the difference.

A lot of fun here, New Year's Eve. 

I really didn't mind picking it all up the next day, in the rain and wind, it was quite ok, actually.

Besides, there were some young guests who did a great job collecting much of it in a pile.

40 bags in 40 days 2014

A year ago I joined the 40 bags in 40 days challenge. 40 bags in 40 days is a challenge which takes place during lent (the catholic period of fasting). To me this was a blessing in disguise. For many years I had this problem of collecting too much stuff around in my house. Read more here: https://www.facebook.com/events/637377976316873/?fref=ts 

I grew up with parents born before WW2. My mother always told me to take care of things, especially clothes, in case of rougher times. Actually, as a teen I used to redesign and alter clothes a lot and they turned out pretty cool. But that was the 80s, which was really convenient, because I couldn’t really afford buying clothes then and fashion back then allowed an individual style. At the time having access to stored, old stuff made sense.

Anyway, I learned that we do not throw away stuff, we keep it… thing is: things started piling up, too much of everything, and suddenly I looked around and discovered I never used any of it, but it took up a lot of space in my house. Space I would really like to clear away and make useful and presentable and room to breath.

I started off thinking that all the piles and boxes in my house was an impossible task to take on, when I stumbled upon this challenge I started thinking that a tiny bit is a lot more than nothing at all, so I joined. I didn’t do it the scientific way: I did not download the calendars or plans available everywhere on the net, I didn’t have a room or area scheduled each day. I just thought that I’d wing it. Everywhere was somewhere good to get started. But it was scary, I tell you.

At first it was really easy: a bag was filled in no time. Getting rid of a little bit of it all wasn’t too painful. Some days I even discarded a lot more than what I had planned. It was 5 minutes of contending passions. But as the 40 days was coming to an end it became more painful. I found things I had forgotten I even had, and I found things which I knew would never be used again, but memories overwhelmed me. It is stupid to hold on to broken etch a scetch just because my son wrote his name for the first time on it, but it is painful to get rid of.

I continued, though. Trying to be reasonable about it all, and after a while it became more of a personal cleansing. I reminded myself of the advantages I would get from it all:

-More space

-Easier to clean

-More presentable home

-Less clutter…. The list grew longer the more I thought it through.

On day 40 I started thinking I was doing something which was good for me. I could already see the results, and I was happy about it. The present became even more important to me, and the feeling of constantly to resign in frustration was replaced with the feeling of achieving something great. To me it was great anyway, and the family started to notice the changes in our house.

off to Salvation Army second hand store.

There was no reason for me to stop, just because the 40 days were over. Every day I got rid of another bag. Some days I just cleared out too small socks from my kids’ drawers, other days I finally got rid of boxes of pocket books I had read too many times.

One day I didn’t have much time to spare… less than my usual 10 minutes, so I grabbed a grocery bag and went into the bathroom. There I threw away empty shampoo bottles, expired creams, lotions and make up and I ended up filling up three bags.

I just love how good I am getting at getting rid of clutter… yes, I stopped calling it stuff or things; now I see clutter.

Today is Ash Wednesday, people from all over the western world are picking up on the challenge. To get some starting help you maybe need a schedule.

White House Black Shutters offers this one:

http://www.whitehouseblackshutters.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/dailyprogress.pdf

Or maybe you just use your calendar on your phone…

I didn’t need one last year; this year I have noted down areas to focus on each day… there is less to just shuffle into a bag now.

I noted it down on the family planner, which is in plain sight in the kitchen. The kids have become curious, so this year it will be more of a family activity. I just can’t wait until this afternoon… I am excited to get started!

Stress-less

Last night my son's friend's mother was shocked learning I have not yet started preparing for Christmas. We were talking about this and that, and I happened to mention I have not done a lot to prepare for the holidays… not yet, anyway.

I have put out more candles than I usually have around, I have hung the star in the window, the advent candelabra is on the table and two candles have been lit (four candles and we light one more each of the four last Sundays before Christmas), my kids’ advent calendars are displayed (and almost half emptied), my kids have their miniature Christmas trees in their rooms and I have displayed a carved wooden Nativity scene I once bought in Jerusalem a hot, sunny day in July, years ago.

I have no curtains in my house, so I have not hung seasonal curtains. I have not cleaned the windows. I have done some baking, but those cookies are gone. I have not bought any presents yet, apart for the two I send by mail. I have not even ordered the pictures I am to add to the Christmas cards… which I have not yet made.

Well…. I didn’t get any further on my rambling ons about the few things I actually have gotten round to do, and everything I have not done yet: my friend got into a state of frantic flickering eyes and heavy breathing, bordering to hyperventilation. It was like as if my laid back attitude had an impact on her own doings and the state of her house.

A couple of years ago I suffered from a serious stress attack. It is not recommended: It hurts. Not only did my entire body ache, but I experienced this surreal notion of being benumbed. I have not yet totally recovered; now and again I still get this pricking sensation of shooting pain through the sole of my foot when I take a step.

Anyway; I had to make a choice, and it was an easy one to make: Slow down!

The thing I could ease up on, without feeling I neglected anyone, was the house. I don’t panic anymore, when I look around my house and see things scattered on the floor. I keep it clean, but not always tidy. When people drop by I don’t fold the towels in frantic speed to get them out of the way. I have told myself we all have laundry, and people tell me I am right. When I invite people over, I often do it on weeknights for supper. You need a loaf of bread, butter, bread spread, cold cuts, jam and a cheese. And then milk, coffee and tea to swallow it down with. Keep it simple and don’t always assume people want royal treatment. Friends don’t want to feel guilty for dropping by, or visit; they want to enjoy the company of someone who is comfortable around them.

I don’t curl up inside because there is an unwashed pot in the sink. It’s not going anywhere, I can clean it later. Besides, lighting candles hide a lot of clutter. It just isn’t as obvious anymore, because you focus on the coze, rather than scanning the room for what is out of place.

There is a vast difference between having a spotless house and to neglect the house. At the end of the day I now have a home we live, play and work in, rather than having a house on display.

Friends don’t mind, actually they like it and relax more around me, but most important: I enjoy being with friends more now, than I did before. It makes me a happier, more positive and supporting friend. I even find my friends more supporting too.

Baking for Christmas

Christmas is just around the corner, and here, in Norway, part of the tradition is to bake cookies. It is common to count 7 different kinds, but most have more than that at home. They don’t necessarily bake them all (the store has a lot of delicious options) but most have cookies and cakes in cookie jars and tins, ready to be served if someone should drop by during the holidays.

Preparing for Christmas takes a lot of organizing on beforehand. To get everything done on time, and avoid intense stress mess (after all I want this season to be about family friendly values and spending quality time together with others), I plan December day by day. Too much planned in one day often results in nothing getting done at all; I just get caught in overwhelmed distress. Much because this is not only a month of extensive number of traditions and seasonal events at home, in sports-clubs and school, but it is also the season for end of term tests and grading. This is the height of the season, both at home and work.

 

Making tons of Christmas cookies (julekaker) is one of the Norwegian traditions. We tend to eat so many of them while baking, that by the time Christmas is actually here, we are almost fed up with them. But they are important to us.

The discussion on which kinds of cookies we should count as the real deal is an ongoing issue through out the country. There is no key or set rule to which ones to bake (or buy), but most families have their own traditional cookies they would like to include. On the net I found  the most common ones are:

«Smultringer», «goro», «fattigmann», «krumkaker», «sandkaker», «sirupssnipper» and «berlinerkranser». I bake a few of them, but far from all. I guess tastes have a say on what you bother to bake, as there is no point in baking just to throw them away when they get stale…  some time in March.

Smultring  are Norwegian doughnuts. They are smallish and usually prepared without glazing or filling, and are often flavoured with cardamom.

Smultrings are torus shaped and sold from trucks and, at Christmas time, from stalls. They are described as being "thick heavy dough fried in lard – best eaten while hot and with the grease still dripping! Smultring are popular with expatriate Norwegians including those in Minnesota who serve them with krumkake, riskrem (rice cream), and fattigmann at Christmas dinners.
^{(source wikipedia.com)}

Goro were traditionally the "rich man's" cookies in Norway – they are prepared from what used to be really expensive ingredients like butter and cream and they are baked on specially smithed irons that very often are family heirlooms. The cookies have a texture that's a cross between a cookie, a cracker, and a waffle, lightly flavored with cardamom. I just love the pattern these cookies get in the iron when baked. I don’t make them very often, though. My grandmother had an old fashioned iron, which had to be flipped, as it was heated by the fire or cooker, but my iron is a modern, electrical one and the cookies are just too thick to become as delicate and crispy as I like them.

Another cookie, which is made from almost the same ingredients as Goro is Fattigmann, or "Poor Man Cookies" which are twisted into pretty knots, quickly fried in oil or lard, and sprinkled with vanilla sugar or confectioner's sugar. They're a favorite in Norway and Sweden, and easy to prepare either with a special fattigman cutter or with a pastry cutter.

I don’t really make these either. I have tried, but... I just never got the hang of it. They just turned fatty and not that tasty at all... maybe I have the wrong recipe. My family never really had a tradition for baking these.

Delicate Norwegian krumkake cookies are baked on a circular cookie iron, then rolled into cones or cigars. They're guaranteed to crumble when eaten, in such a delicious way! There is no way you can eat these in an elegant manner, but I love them! I do not bake them in a large scale... I make them when I plan on serving them or when someone asks for them, as they are the best when just made. Or at least I think so.  I serve them alone, but most times I serve them filled with whipped cream mixed with fruit or berries (cloudberries is very popular around Christmas time) or with ice cream.

 

Serina Cookies are the ultimate Norwegian butter cookie, with a light texture that comes from using hartshorn (a.k.a. baker's ammonia or hornsalt) rather than American baking powder. Sprinkle them with pearl sugar and watch them disappear! Lovely to dip them in hot coffee and add some mocca taste to them  (I know, not very proper, but I do that to chocolate as well...)

 

"Sandkaker" (sand cakes) are formed in pretty fluted tins, quickly baked in the oven, and then served either inverted to highlight their beautiful shapes or else used as tart shells for both sweet and savory fillings. I usually fill them with vanilla custard and berries... or diced fruit. Any kind I have at hand makes these cookies a real treat.

The cookies my kids love the most is Spritz (Sprut in Norwegian), Christmas Cookies are crisp and delicious. Sprut cookies are always on my list of goodies to make.

I lay them together, filling the pair with a delicious frosting added a hint of rum essence.

 

A cookie I do bake a lot of and put in the freezer is Sarah Bernhard. An almond base with chocolate butter cream and chocolate icing.

When I am to serve them I take them out of the freezer, put the coffee on and they are thawned just right for serving by the time coffee is done. They are delicious and just melt in your mouth with an explosion of jammy taste of chocolate.  They are ok for Christmas, but I would turn big as a house if I made them all year round.

 

We also design and build a gingersnap house for each of the kids to decorate with sweets  of their own choice and confectioner's sugar. They get to crack it and eat it New Year’s Eve.

We bake big hearts and tie a bright red bow in them and hang them, i.e. the windows, for decorations... and then some figure shaped smaller ones for eating. Scrumptious!