Stress-less

Last night my son's friend's mother was shocked learning I have not yet started preparing for Christmas. We were talking about this and that, and I happened to mention I have not done a lot to prepare for the holidays… not yet, anyway.

I have put out more candles than I usually have around, I have hung the star in the window, the advent candelabra is on the table and two candles have been lit (four candles and we light one more each of the four last Sundays before Christmas), my kids’ advent calendars are displayed (and almost half emptied), my kids have their miniature Christmas trees in their rooms and I have displayed a carved wooden Nativity scene I once bought in Jerusalem a hot, sunny day in July, years ago.

I have no curtains in my house, so I have not hung seasonal curtains. I have not cleaned the windows. I have done some baking, but those cookies are gone. I have not bought any presents yet, apart for the two I send by mail. I have not even ordered the pictures I am to add to the Christmas cards… which I have not yet made.

Well…. I didn’t get any further on my rambling ons about the few things I actually have gotten round to do, and everything I have not done yet: my friend got into a state of frantic flickering eyes and heavy breathing, bordering to hyperventilation. It was like as if my laid back attitude had an impact on her own doings and the state of her house.

A couple of years ago I suffered from a serious stress attack. It is not recommended: It hurts. Not only did my entire body ache, but I experienced this surreal notion of being benumbed. I have not yet totally recovered; now and again I still get this pricking sensation of shooting pain through the sole of my foot when I take a step.

Anyway; I had to make a choice, and it was an easy one to make: Slow down!

The thing I could ease up on, without feeling I neglected anyone, was the house. I don’t panic anymore, when I look around my house and see things scattered on the floor. I keep it clean, but not always tidy. When people drop by I don’t fold the towels in frantic speed to get them out of the way. I have told myself we all have laundry, and people tell me I am right. When I invite people over, I often do it on weeknights for supper. You need a loaf of bread, butter, bread spread, cold cuts, jam and a cheese. And then milk, coffee and tea to swallow it down with. Keep it simple and don’t always assume people want royal treatment. Friends don’t want to feel guilty for dropping by, or visit; they want to enjoy the company of someone who is comfortable around them.

I don’t curl up inside because there is an unwashed pot in the sink. It’s not going anywhere, I can clean it later. Besides, lighting candles hide a lot of clutter. It just isn’t as obvious anymore, because you focus on the coze, rather than scanning the room for what is out of place.

There is a vast difference between having a spotless house and to neglect the house. At the end of the day I now have a home we live, play and work in, rather than having a house on display.

Friends don’t mind, actually they like it and relax more around me, but most important: I enjoy being with friends more now, than I did before. It makes me a happier, more positive and supporting friend. I even find my friends more supporting too.