This Year, Let Go Of The People Who Aren’t Ready To Love You, by Brianna Wiest

 

This Year, Let Go Of The People Who Aren’t Ready To Love You

By Brianna WiestUpdated September 26, 2021

It is the hardest thing you will ever have to do, and it will also be the most important: stop giving your love to those who aren’t ready to love you.

Stop having hard conversations with people who don’t want to change. Stop showing up for people who are indifferent about your presence. Stop prioritizing people who make you an option. Stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you.

I know that your instinct is to do whatever you can to earn the good graces of everyone you can, but that is also the impulse that will rob you of your time, your energy and your sanity.

When you start showing up to your life wholly and completely, with joy and interest and commitment, not everyone is going to be ready to meet you there.

It doesn’t mean you need to change who you are. It means you need to stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you. 

If you’re left out, subtly insulted, mindlessly forgotten about or easily disregarded by the people you spend the most time with, you’re doing yourself an incredible disservice by continuing to offer your energy and life to them.

The truth is that you are not for everyone, and everyone is not for you. That’s what makes it so special when you do find the few people with whom you have a genuine friendship, love or relationship: you’ll know how precious it is because you’ve experienced what it isn’t.

But the longer you spend trying to force someone to love you when they aren’t capable, the longer you’re robbing yourself of that very connection. It is waiting for you. There are billions of people on this planet, and so many of them are going to meet you at your level, vibe where you are, connect with where you’re going.

… But the longer you stay small, tucked into the familiarity of the people who use you as a cushion, a back burner option, a therapist and a ploy for their emotional labor, the longer you keep yourself out of the community you crave.

Maybe if you stop showing up, you’ll be less liked.

Maybe you’ll be forgotten about altogether.

Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will cease.

Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will stay dark for days and weeks.

Maybe if you stop loving someone, the love between you will dissolve.

That doesn’t mean you ruined a relationship. It means that the only thing sustaining a relationship was the energy you and you alone were putting into it.

That’s not love. That’s attachment.

The most precious, important thing that you have in your life is your energy. It is not your time that is limited, it is your energy. What you give it to each day is what you will create more and more of in your life. What you give your time to is what will define your existence. 

When you realize this, you’ll begin to understand why you’re so anxious when you spend your time with people who are wrong for you, and in jobs or places or cities that are wrong, too.

You’ll begin to realize that the foremost important thing you can do for your life and yourself and everyone you know is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else.

Make your life a safe haven in which only people that can care and listen and connect are allowed.

You are not responsible for saving people.

You are not responsible for convincing them they want to be saved.

It is not your job to show up for people and give away your life to them, little by little, moment by moment, because you pity them, because you feel bad, because you “should,” because you’re obligated, because, at the root of it all, you’re afraid to not be liked back.

It is your job to realize that you are the master of your fate, and that you are accepting the love you think you’re worthy of.

Decide you’re deserving of real friendship, true commitment and complete love with people who are healthy and thriving.

Then wait in the darkness, just for a little bit…

… And watch how quickly everything begins to change.

Bank vs grandma...

I am sorry I don't know who wrote this, but it illustrates the arrogance and total lack of respect both public and private services have for their paying customers.

Below is an actual letter sent to a bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will, therefore and hereafter, no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses
required to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. Press buttons as follows:

1.- To make an appointment to see me.

2.- To query a missing payment.

3.- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

4.- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

5. -To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

6.- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

7.- To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated at a later date to the Authorized Contact.

8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever-so-slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

The Generous Gift of a Glass of Milk that Ended up Paying for Medical Care -Truth!

This story has been circulating on social medias for quite some time now. Still beautiful. It should tell us that there is no reason to hold back kindness untill you think you can offer real help; preferably big time!  As is often the case, someone has fictionalized the details of this story and gotten some of it wrong, but it is essentially a true event.

A real example of the story as it has been circulated: One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?" "You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness." He said..... "Then I thank you from my heart." As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit. Year's later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly ! was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case. After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words..... "Paid in full with one glass of milk" Signed Dr. Howard Kelly. Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, God, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."

The Truth:   Dr. Howard Kelly was a distinguished physician who, in 1895, founded the Johns Hopkins Division of Gynecologic Oncology at Johns Hopkins University.  According to Dr. Kelly's biographer, Audrey Davis, the doctor was on a walking trip through Northern Pennsylvania one spring day when he stopped by a farm house for a drink of water.  A little girl answered his knock at the door and instead of water, brought him a glass of fresh milk.  He visited with her briefly, then went his way.   Sometime after that, the little girl came to him as a patient and needed surgery.  After the surgery, the bill was brought to her room and on it were the words, "Paid in full with one glass of milk." www.Truthorfiction.com  thanks Andrew Harrison, the Processing Archivist and Fine Arts Coordinator for the Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions, for help with this story.  Posted 7/6/07 http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/o/oneglassofmilk.htm#.Uys0bvl5NLA

BILL GATES ON EDUCATION -- NOT!

URBAN LEGENDS COME BACK TO HAUNT US!

Popular web wisdom --Urban eLegend -- has it that the rules below were written by Bill Gates. But I've recently been told that these rules on education are NOT from Bill Gates. These rules have been credited to a number of people, but according to the "Urban Legends Reference Pages: Language," at http://www.snopes2.com/language/document/liferule.htm, the rules are actually by Charles J. Sykes, an author of books on education. Moreover, this list omits 3 additional rules which you can view on the above web site. The "Rules For a New Economy" below the education rules list are apparently actually written by Bill Gates.

The rules, however, are worthy of discussion (I use them in my lectures on debate):

RULE 1 - Life is not fair; get used to it.

RULE 2 - The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3 - You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4 - If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5 - Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

RULE 6 - If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.

RULE 8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9 - Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10 - Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11 - Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

HEY YOU...

Just a few totally useless facts...

Did you know that:

·         If you screamed for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would produce enough energy to heat a cup of coffee? (Hardly worth the effort.)

·         If you break wind  continuously for 6 years and 9 months it will produce enough gas to effectuate a nuclear bomb? (Now we’re talking!)...

·         When your heart pumps blood around your body, the pressure is so strong it can squirt 914,40 cm? (Oh My God!)

·         A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes? (In my next life I want to be a pig!)

·         A cockroach can live for 9 days without its head before it dies? (Creepy!)

·         If you bang your head in the wall you use 150 calories an hour? (Don’t try this at home. At work, perhaps...? It might help...)

(Still not over that thing with the pig!)

·         The male stick insect can not mate while its head is still attached to the body. The female takes initiative to sex by tearing the male’s head off? (Honey, I’m home! What th....?!)

·         A flea can jump as far as 350 times the length of its body? That corresponds to a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes... lucky pig. Can you even imagine that?!?)

·         The catfish has more than 27 000 tastebuds? (What can possibly be that tasty on the sea bed?)

·         Some lions mate more than 50 times a day? (I would still like to be a pig in my next life – quality before quantity.)

·         Butterflies taste with their feet? (Always wanted to know that!)

·         The strongest muscle in your body is your tongue? (Hmmmmmm.....)

·         Right-handed people live, in average, 9 years longer than left-handed? (Which is good for me!)

·         Elephants are the only animals which can’t jump? (OK, makes sense...)

·         A cat’s urine illuminates under black light? (Wonder who came up with the idea to pay someone to do the research?)

·         An Ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain? (I know a few people with the exact same problem)

·         A starfish has no brain? (I know a few people like that as well...)

·         Polar bears are left-handed? (If they change hand, will they live a lot longer?)

·         Human beings and dolphins are the only two species which have sex for the fun of it? (What about the pig??????)

For more useless facts:
( Fun Facts, Do Fish Drink Water?, Amusing Facts, Encyclopedia Britannica, Caplex, side2.no)

parking tickets

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a warden writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, how about giving a OAP a break?'He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.I called him a dumb ass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres.So my wife called him a s..t head. He finished thesecond ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes..The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on itand went home. We try to have a little fun each day now that we are retired. It is important at our age.

Oh, my God; Women SHOULD TAKE THE BUS!!!

"I was driving to work today, taking the E39, when I happened to take a quick look at the driver to my right. 

I was passing by as we were in a two-lane area. I saw a great looking woman in a green Ford, quite stunning, in fact.

She drove at 120 km / h with her face deep into the rear view mirror while painting her eye lashes with some mascara-stuff. For a moment I looked a different way, and when I turned back to the woman, she was to my great horror ... she had seemingly lost steering as she was about to enter my lane - still her face close to the rear view mirror and make-up equipment at full use!

I got so startled that I lost my shaver, and the sandwich (which I had in my other hand) was knocked out of my hand. In the panic to get control of the car (as I was steering with my knees), my mobile fell  from the arch of my neck and straight into the cup of coffee, which I had between my legs.

This resulted in a small disaster as I spilled hot coffee all over "Bill", and the set of twins. In the cry of pain which followed, I lost the cigarette from my lips and burned a large hole in my shirt. 

In addition, I lost the important phone call!

How can we allow women to drive this way?! Now someone must take action and get these irresponsible motorists off the roads! "