Resolutions.

And then the new year is on. We write 2016 (unless you like me are stuck on 2015 and still sign documents a year back). The resolutions for the new year are dusted off from last year, and we try again.We do, to a large extent, create our days, so lets get started!

"It's a New Year, and I will start being the new, and better, me!" We hear, and read, it everywhere. At least these few first days after New Year's eve. It's like we are caught in the mainstream of changes.

I have read quite a few blogs on the topic lately; 5 days ago was like an explotion of people who went online to announce to the world what a better person they were going to be. Better in the sense of meeting what they thought society would like them to be: slimmer, healthier, more fit, and great at time management... and picking up hobbies they always wanted to do.

I am not sure if giving up a lot of food, smoking, drinking and pleasures of shopping make us better people, but by all means; It might have unthought of side effects.

In my opinion new year's resolutions are absolutely wonderful when you lack motivation. When we start a new year, it's a new beginning, which we percieve as a legal, or just, time to change our ways. We don't have to explain our issues, we just explain our new ways by "it's a new year's resolution", and we go "Ahhhh, right". Much like when we reply "Sorry, I'm busy"; it is a legit excuse for every possible shortcoming.

Because of the unfortunate fact that other people may not always understand our issues, this time of year gives us a legit reason to adress what we feel is not optimal, acceptable even, in our lives, and it should be grasped with both hands. Unless you are quite content embracing being less than perfect... like me.

I think new year's resolutions are a great way for people to give themselves the motivation to do something good for themselves. Of course, in some cases, it is a burden of self-imposed agony and force. Simply because often we know things have to change, but we don't really want to.

When other people announce their resolutions, it may be a good idea to jump on board. Make a deal to get on with it together. It is such a bummer to admit you have not done your part... but even a bigger pleasure to say you have done well. If the resolution is to go for a walk at set times, it is easier to skip the walk if you are the only one who will ever know if you actually did it.

There are a lot of reasons why you shouldn't commit to any new year's resolutions, though. They all boil down to the chance you may let yourself down, again. You can't fix a zillion flaws and "if onlys" just because you wish they would. I hate the feeling of letting myself down. And then I let myself down even more, by blaming others, even though I know it's my own fault.

Timmy Grasshopper sings it so beautifuly in Pinoccio:

When You Wish Upon A Star

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you.

If your heart is in your dream

No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do.

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Suddenly, it comes to you
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

When a star is born
They possess a gift or two.
One of them is this
They have the power to make a wish come true.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you,

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do.

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing.

Like a bolt out of the blue
Suddenly, it comes to you
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true.

A lovely song and a wonderful thought, isn't it? Unfortunately it isn't true. I have watched weight loss reality programs, dating reality programs, personal finance reality programs, redecorating/upgrading/redoing house reality programs... and there is one thing they all have in common: something must be done, for changes to happen.

You can't sit in your bed eating chocolate, wishing you were four sizes smaller, expecting to shrink while at it. I wrote about how losers lose some time ago... it doesn't work. I tried.
There is no way Prince Charming will turn up, out of the blue, knock on your door and ask you to marry him.
You can't buy a lot of stuff and then buy a vacation, maximizing your credit card, again, and wish you had a bit more slack on the finances.
Unless you tend to your house, it will rot, with you in it.

When we dream, we can be anything we want. It is a good thing to dream, it is important to have dreams. In reality it's not that simple. It takes a set goal, hard work, patience and a bit of help on the way. The energy you spend being euphorically excited about it during that intoxicating hours after midnight doesn't change much.

I am not getting any younger. But these days 45 is not really getting on a bit: it's the best of ages. To me it is, anyway. There are things I have not done, because I thought I was too old, too big, too busy... The list of excuses was long, and to be honest... just pointless, but convenient, excuses.

Now is my chance to sit down and prepare a list of important lifestyle changes I want to make, waiting for me to get younger is pointless. I can't make it happen just by willpower, alas.