My answer to the big question....?

I found a long lost friend, on facebook, the other day. I never knew him for a long period of time, but there was something I recognized in him back then. I still think I understand where he is coming from... anyway; He asked if I had found the answers? Of course, when somebody asks like that, it is implied we are talking about the big questions. The reasons, the meanings, the whys and becauses....

The reply I gave was that: “Yes, I have found the answers to what used to trouble me”.

But after we finished chatting, on facebook, I was thinking that maybe that was the most self-indulgent answer I could possibly give. So much so, it must have come across as rather overbearing and cocky.

Of course, I both know and understand that the search for the meaning of life is, to many, a quest they pursuit their entire adult life.

And during the teenages we don’t even realize that is what we do, while we make desitions and choises we are not ready to make.

We chase what we think is what we want in life, and yet, for some reason, the feeling of being fully content is not achieved. So, we start to blame anything and anybody for our own lack of well-being.

To a great extent it is true, you know.

Through our whole life we try to do what we are good at. It can be kids, trying to behave the way their parents want them to. It can be teenagers trying to find their way into the future. It can be adults trying to do a good job. It can be people, in general, trying to find a religion or guide-lines to help them lead a good life.

And no matter how hard we try, it is so hard to find significant others who compliment our effort. We search for friends or groups with similar standpoint in order to get some kind of backup to who we are and what we stand for.

Some times they lead us astray and influence us on taking the wrong choises, other times they reinforce our stand, because we want their recognition and they are compatible to what we think or do.

We all have different baggage. We all have individual stories. We all have our achieved degree of selfesteem. Wether it is based on reality or a chosen attitude towards other people’s prejudices is not really important... feelings can’t be debated. What is important is that no matter where we are in life we need confirmation that we do well and that we are ok. There is no need to add the: “Considering your premises”.

To stand in reality and face life is hard. To forgive is even harder, but often that is what it takes to let go and focus on what is going well.

My answer to what used to trouble me is as following: There is no one answer, but I forgive. I do not have to forget. To forgive does not include a renewal of trust. Trust is something which must be earned. But if I forgive, I can let go, regardless of the other person still feeling bad about what he did or said.

Other than that I try to lead my life by the seven last commandments. Doing the best I can on that, I believe I can stand tall and have faith in myself. Those old guys really knew what they were talking about, and the seven last commandments tell us how it is possible to live at peace and in hormony with eachother as human beings... silly as we often are.

That being said... I am too confused to lie; I never remember what I said last, and end up painting myself into a painful corner. And that is basically the thing about all of them.

To have this guideline makes me able to accept others for who they are, without having to agree. And that is my answer to the big questions. Not really an answer, but a stand, I suppose.