Not expected guests

I have just been informed that what is going on in my house is rather outrageous! Relax, it is nothing bad (from my point of view) it is just not what most people (at least not here in Norway) consider normal. I never really thought about it before, but a neighbor of mine was rather indignant with it, on my behalf, when I told her about my dinner guests over Christmas holidays.

I am not very good at hosting dinner parties. I am not the kind of hostess who will plan for days and days (maybe even weeks) how to set the table, what kind of centerpiece to display, how to seat the guests, what to serve, when and how.

It does not mean I never invite people for dinner, or any other meal of the day. I do! I am just not very… proper. And I never really invite people; my guests are the drop in kind of visitors.

I just suggest they should come over later or, if they are already in the house, stay, for whatever meal is due.

It is not that I am unorganized or overly impulsive but I just don’t feel I have the time to plan events in advance.

When I am invited for dinner, coffee or any other sort of get-together which includes food, I do what every sincere and/or polite person do: I compliment the effort the host or hostess has made to make it a pleasant meal with nice surroundings in good company. I do not only compliment the effort: I honestly and truly appreciate the length they go to, in order to make me (and anyone else invited) feel welcome and at ease.

I love the feeling of being pampered and made a fuss about: To be a VIP.

My guests don’t get that treatment at all. That is: There have been special occasions, even in my life, when I have invited people to celebrate with me, and when you send a formal invitation there should be a planned setting, a menu and timing. I am not good at any of that, but I make an effort when making an effort is the right thing to do.

Anyway, the thing that upset my neighbor was I told her, in the course of a conversation, that I never really know how many will come when I invite someone.

For some reason, a few of my friends find it ok to bring extra guests. If I am lucky they call and tell me, but not always.

I think it has to do with my propensity to cook while my guests are seated around my kitchen table and we all talk. I like fresh food, and I like it to be newly made.

Besides, cooking a meal is far less time consuming than most think. If you have sharp knives, that is. A decent set of knives makes cooking both quick and more pleasant. And to show off throwing tomatoes in the air and see them split when hitting the knife is a good party trick. And some even point out they appreciate seeing me wash my hands every now and again.

I might even have brought it upon myself, as I suggested, at some point, that if you cook for 6 you might as well cook for 10. The mess is the same, you just need to add more vegetables and salads. And sharing a meal is so much nicer than to eat alone.

I like long meals with many people around the table and good humoured conversations. The food itself is not important.

I am not a gourmet, I make eatable food, but I do not think it is the food itself that makes people come. I think it is the knowledge we have a welcoming house. Not a house which is as tidy as I wish (newspapers and Lego have been known to be removed from the table as the guests sit down), and far from quiet, but a home where people are welcome…  as long as they approve of the less formal setting and a table without a stunning centerpiece.

It is not outrageous, as far as I am conserned, to me that is sharing togetherness.