Cats in the hood

I am getting old. It is inevitable; it's happening, so I might as well admit to it.
It's not something I dread or anything; as a matter of fact I actually feel more liberated the older I get. My eccentric strike is more approved of, and the demands society has on my looks and appearance are more agreeable with my own standards: I don't have to be stylish and/or groomed, as long as I am clean.

Part of getting old is becoming more grumpy and annoyed at things which really should be trifle details, but which is actually worth giving a more profound thought. Because I am old, and all, you know?

One of the things which annoys me, and this is becoming more and more of an issue, is cats' droppings. Cats have a way of leaving behind all kinds of repellant stuff, like hair, catch of the day like mutilated birds and mice, and yes: poop. Cats dump their filthiness on the most strategic places, and that really doesn't suit me. I don't like it one bit.

My son is allergic to cats, and the hairs on our garden furniture is really unfortunate. Whatever furniture I keep outdoors, will soon be a preferred hangout for the cats living in the hood. It's like a headquarter for the cool guys. Often they don't even care when they see me charging them, broom, high heels, crazy hair, and all. They probably know me too well, by now. They know I won't hurt them. I just want them away. I can want all the way to China, they don't give a toss about me and what I want.

Every morning when I am off to work, I see the the rear end and a dishvelled tail of a cat rushing off in sheer panic. I know he sleeps in the doghouse, I just never can catch him red handed. The thought he is afraid, very afraid, of me, gives me a much needed psychological barrel over him. It is war. A war between me and the unwanted, stinky sleepovers.

Even though I have had cats before, I am not a cat-person. I have a dog. Having a dog in the house it is infinitely annoying to have cats with self-proclaimed permanent residence permit in my yard. The catty smell of what they leave behind when they do what they do, is really annoying. Even more so when I find it in my flower jars (!) and beds.

It is extra annoying as I, because I am a responsible owner of a dog, am expected to pick up after him, which I do, but catowners don't have that duty. Catowners are exempted that nasty obligation. Cats are, after all, stray animals, and they got rights! They need to wander about where ever they choose to wander in order to be happy. At least that is what I am being told when I moan and mope.
To me it is self evident that cats should be under the leash law, just like dogs, but somehow most people don't see that.

Unfortunately cats don't read signs, and folk remedies like
orange peel, black pepper, garlic, grind coffee and
 anti-cat remedies bought at the store, really don't work. 

I've even heard that cat's do not litter on their own turf, unless they are forced to. They my have 9 lives, but some time they will have to go do their business, just like any other creature. They can not hold it in for days. And when they go, they prefere doing it elsewhere, which makes sense: If I could deside wheather to stink up my own house or the neighbor's, I would not choose my own house and garden.

Some will say I am pretty crazy for bothering making a fuzz about cats on the loose pooping in my garden. To be honest I don't find it to be a trifle thing at all.
It is my honest opinion it is way too easy to get a cute kitten, and you get it for free, and you adore it while it is small and adorable.
You let it out to do its business, and one day it is too much trouble to let the cat in and out, so you put the bowls with water and food outside as well, and suddenly you haven't actually seen the cat for weeks.... but the food is gone, so you are sure it's around. Somewhere.

So these stray cats keep their house, which they no longer actually live in, clean. And they do what cats do in my garden.
There is a reason we have a dog: We are not catpeople! We don't like cats! And my son is allergic! So why would a neighbor want to be our bad neighbor, and make their animal our work? Why do my kids risk stepping into a stinky poop in our garden? We are not talking about one or two; in the course of a week I am sure we get at least 40 droppings strategically placed in our garden. No kidding! And they place them where I can't see them, but I can smell them, and then have to look for them.

I like cats. I don't hate them. I just don't want to be burdened with them. I want people to let the cat in at night so it doesn't keep me awake with its flirting and fighting.
I wish cats were more expensive. I wish all cats got a yearly checkup with a vet, shots, cures and dental treatment and castrated. Yes, I do not want more unwanted cats in my neighborhood. I wish cats had to be kept indoors at night.

I want to stroll about on my own land without fear I'll get smelly, nasty stuff on my shoes or between my toes. I want to open my windows and doors to let fresh air breeze through my house, without getting uninvited four-legged visitors who enter my castle for the only reason to fight my dog.

And I want to sleep at night. I want to sleep at night without wondering is that a baby? or a cat? probably a cat.... but what if it's a baby?...

I want not to worry about animals I never wanted to worry about.