If I change you must too.

To pay attention to people in your surroundings means you get to know their many ways on how they respond (including what buttons you need to push to get the reaction you are looking for), when they are serious or not, their moods, what causes they believe in, their habits… and their bad ones. They become predictable and you have this notion of what you can allow yourself to expect from them.

They say people don’t change, but circumstances do. When circumstances change, traits in people (which you, of course, suspected they had in them) go from a latent potential to a strong characteristic. OK, maybe not really strong; but at least a lot more conspicuous than before.

I see this “change” in people I think I know well… until they give up something which used to be part of their lifestyle. It is good to give up things you feel decrease your quality of life in any way, what I don't think is ok, is how negative they often become to both my bad habits and others', even though they previously had the same lifestyle.

People who become vegetarian, stop smoking, go on strict diets, who start taking the bus in the morning instead of driving their car or in any other way changes their ways very often become unpleasant, almost to the point of unbearable, in their criticism of those who choose to pick up, or continue, doing what they used to do themselves before.

Strange how people do that.... and I dare say most do, purely based on my own experiences and observations. I wonder why they do, though.

Like, when people go on strict diets they start commenting on what other people eat and count other people's intake of calories.

It is really annoying to be with friends and have a good time when everything we eat or drink to add more joy and enjoyment to the get together is just commented upon as something negative. How can carrots possibly replace crisps, nachos or chocolate, for that matter? And since I often feel they communicate too well with my bad conscience, I can’t help but thinking they come very close to sound vindictive, revengeful, deceitful, conniving, resentful and angry.

I know it isn’t fair to think like that since they only want what is best for me, but… Controlling your thoughts is very hard and I feel guilty for my harsh thoughts and I can’t just tell I just felt like that and the whole thing just gives me a bad mood and I turn into really bad company.

In everyday life: Yes, one should not indulge oneself to uncritical pleasure and comfort. There are such things as health risks and problems tie your own shoes, but there is such a thing as own comfort zone and a middle way. Too much and too little of anything is equally bad.

There should be room for conversations about how to improve your lifestyle. After all, we don’t always see how we can improve our lifestyle and still feel good about ourselves.

Lifestyle is often chosen based on what is familiar to us, what we find as means to calm discomfort, financial situation or what we think other people expect from us. And all of those reasons are important. We may not like it, but it is true. We can’t just change because somebody tells us to. If we are to change a lifestyle we need to find something compatible to us first. Only then we can consider remove something from our life to make room for something new.

If we search for a better lifestyle, we have already understood we need a change. If we have come to that conclusion we have issues we must be allowed to figure out. Comments not thought-through, said in a content tone of voice, could very well add to the problem… no matter how well-intended