Unexpected Pleasant Conversation

At times I attend social events where people of mixed ages are present. Last time, I ended up talking to a young man who did not seem to be in a hurry to move along.

Till he approached me I was quite content where I had settled down; on a bar stool a bit back in the assembly room. Quite frankly I thought I was safe and would be left alone until I could leave; sometimes I am just too tired to be good company for anyone, and I know this, so I try to protect both myself and others from a sarcastic older hag.

In danger of being wrongly perceived as a cougar, I told him that: “You are awfully young, I think you would be better off mingling and find a young person your own age to talk to.” (I know how to be very unwelcoming, you see. Not proud of it, but some times it comes in very handy.)

Very politely he told me he was quite comfortable talking with me, even though he must have understood I was more than just a little bit uncomfortable as I announced that: “I usually don’t engage in private conversations with men as young as you… it makes me feel as if I have a “Demi-Moore-moment”.

You get the picture: I was trying to brush him off while he was stubborn and just stayed… I thought maybe he was hiding as well, so I soon settled for my thought explanation and decided to make an effort to be polite. Well, we sat there like two perchers; chit-chatting about everything and nothing at all. You know: music, his future plans, how expensive it is to own a car, whether asparagus is delicious or not, and how to prepare…

Anyway, I glanced at my mobile and to my surprise the event was coming to an end. I’d been enjoying myself a lot, in spite of my initial apprehensions. He turned very quiet for a bit and I could tell he had something on his mind. Then, in a very low, shy voice the question was asked: why was I so reluctant to talk to him to begin with?

Taken by surprise over his candour I don’t really remember what I answered, but I do remember telling him I was wrong and that I had really enjoyed the evening.

Walking back home I fell into thoughts: It is a shame that when I talked to someone, in a social and festive setting, it would very likely be perceive by others to be something more than just enjoying each other’s thoughts and opinions. I reluctantly have to admit I fell into the trap myself. I think it has something to do with the general indication most people seem to have adopted: the first thought to pop up in mind, when two people of opposite sex talk, socially, is a setting involving some kind of sexual nature. (We don’t usually have that instant thought when two people of the same sex talk, even though they may actually have that agenda… just planting an evil thought there…)

To be friendly to someone is a risky business as rumour very seldom is of good nature. And what people see, or think they see, is also told. I guess my inherent fear of others’ opinion of me (even though I work hard not to give into it) protruded.

I totally admit to my prejudices to young people: I am too old to handle the sarcasms and puns young adults seem to master to perfection, on my spare time. I deal with them every day at work, and have no desire to be on the alert when I need to wind down.

Thing is, however, young people are no different than any other people at any other age: They adapt to the situation. And now, in the aftermath of my pleasant evening and pensiveness, I think they enjoy the relaxed conversation with adults who don’t represent a threat or argue to everything they say. They just enjoy the input and the harmless spending time with someone, without obligations. Just like we all do… at least I think we do. I do. I just tend to forget.