Unexpected Pleasant Conversation

At times I attend social events where people of mixed ages are present. Last time, I ended up talking to a young man who did not seem to be in a hurry to move along.

Till he approached me I was quite content where I had settled down; on a bar stool a bit back in the assembly room. Quite frankly I thought I was safe and would be left alone until I could leave; sometimes I am just too tired to be good company for anyone, and I know this, so I try to protect both myself and others from a sarcastic older hag.

In danger of being wrongly perceived as a cougar, I told him that: “You are awfully young, I think you would be better off mingling and find a young person your own age to talk to.” (I know how to be very unwelcoming, you see. Not proud of it, but some times it comes in very handy.)

Very politely he told me he was quite comfortable talking with me, even though he must have understood I was more than just a little bit uncomfortable as I announced that: “I usually don’t engage in private conversations with men as young as you… it makes me feel as if I have a “Demi-Moore-moment”.

You get the picture: I was trying to brush him off while he was stubborn and just stayed… I thought maybe he was hiding as well, so I soon settled for my thought explanation and decided to make an effort to be polite. Well, we sat there like two perchers; chit-chatting about everything and nothing at all. You know: music, his future plans, how expensive it is to own a car, whether asparagus is delicious or not, and how to prepare…

Anyway, I glanced at my mobile and to my surprise the event was coming to an end. I’d been enjoying myself a lot, in spite of my initial apprehensions. He turned very quiet for a bit and I could tell he had something on his mind. Then, in a very low, shy voice the question was asked: why was I so reluctant to talk to him to begin with?

Taken by surprise over his candour I don’t really remember what I answered, but I do remember telling him I was wrong and that I had really enjoyed the evening.

Walking back home I fell into thoughts: It is a shame that when I talked to someone, in a social and festive setting, it would very likely be perceive by others to be something more than just enjoying each other’s thoughts and opinions. I reluctantly have to admit I fell into the trap myself. I think it has something to do with the general indication most people seem to have adopted: the first thought to pop up in mind, when two people of opposite sex talk, socially, is a setting involving some kind of sexual nature. (We don’t usually have that instant thought when two people of the same sex talk, even though they may actually have that agenda… just planting an evil thought there…)

To be friendly to someone is a risky business as rumour very seldom is of good nature. And what people see, or think they see, is also told. I guess my inherent fear of others’ opinion of me (even though I work hard not to give into it) protruded.

I totally admit to my prejudices to young people: I am too old to handle the sarcasms and puns young adults seem to master to perfection, on my spare time. I deal with them every day at work, and have no desire to be on the alert when I need to wind down.

Thing is, however, young people are no different than any other people at any other age: They adapt to the situation. And now, in the aftermath of my pleasant evening and pensiveness, I think they enjoy the relaxed conversation with adults who don’t represent a threat or argue to everything they say. They just enjoy the input and the harmless spending time with someone, without obligations. Just like we all do… at least I think we do. I do. I just tend to forget.

five simple rules to be happy?

Yesterday I posted a story copied from Facebook, and at the end there were five simple rules to be happy. I didn’t think much of it at the time, I was so hung up in the moral of the story….. then I took the time to read through the end, with the five simple rules, and two things hit me:

a.     The rules had nothing to do with the moral in the story. In fact it had nothing to do with the story at all! (Unless you take it for granted the donkey didn’t understand the initial intention, and therefore felt nothing but gratitude, rather than resentment at the end.) Have no idea why it was attached.

b.    Most of the rules come across as somewhat… I don’t know; I just find them unnatural to human nature. It’s as if you need to be a superhuman to achieve happiness. I am probably being very unfair, but I just came to thinking that:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

This one is not hard. I mean… To spend time and energy on someone who deliberately hurt you in in the first place, in any way, is just stupid. The only one who really feels the hurt is yourself, and that really isn’t worth the time and agony. It is really hard to find reasons why what happened is not important: It takes some time to come to terms with the situation. Being only human I admit I need to find reasons why it is insignificant. I am not a good enough person to just brush feelings aside and immediately forgive… unless it is a trifle thing like when my coworker eats my chewy lemon toffee without asking or when my friend borrows an outfit and it comes back with a ripped zipper.

Betrayal, when you feel trust is broken, is worse. But think about why and what the issue was; the offence itself might not be such a great mischief, even though the feeling of broken trust is serious enough. I am very good at forgiving, eventually… not so good at forgetting.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

I am old enough to have discovered this myself. To be pragmatic is not always an advantage, but when it comes to invent possible horrors: nope, I don’t do that. This saves me a lot of worries and pondering and mindful agony. There is a chance my stress mess has something to do with it: I am too busy dealing with what is here and now. There is no time to ponder about what is not a reality. Yet. That being said: I totally understand how troublesome it is, to more emotional people, to wonder about the consequences possible scenarios might cause.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.

Everything is relative. To live simply is not up to the same standard for everyone. Some people are quite content when they own two t-shirts, one in the laundry and one to wear. Others need more equipment and facilities to find they live a simple life. Either way is it hard to be fully happy.

Most times it is not the lack or abundance of things which are the main reasons for a bit of unhappiness. Maybe we do have the things, but we lack that special person in our circle. It’s not necessarily the life partner or significant other who is absent. Often we need that compatible friend, teacher, pastor or some other person who can help you complete your life.

When you feel that kind of want, everything else you may have in your life just seems less important and it is hard to appreciate what you have. Sadly people can’t be ordered online, even though the traffic on chat-lines indicate many try.

Give more.

This rule reminds me of magazines: lose weight, cook perfect meals, bake the perfect bakery, dress well, be groomed and fresh at all times, stay young, be fit… become better, smarter, nicer, more successful… we are NEVER good enough; no matter how hard we try. We already give so much time, money, effort, attention… and what we get is: If you are not happy do more! Be more! Give more!

In theory what goes around comes around, but that is not always the case. Often when we do give a piece of ourselves and our qualities the thanks we get is: they want even more. Ingratitude is how the world pays you.

It makes me tired and worn out. Charity work lack more and more people. Not nearly enough people volunteer anymore, and the enthusiasts are reaching older age. It is the same thing nearly all over the western world; Younger people are already preoccupied supporting the activities their own family and friends engage in, or they just don’t have the energy to put more effort into others. They struggle as it is, trying to keep up their standard of living.

I wish some guru, who told us to share more and be each other’s support came in fashion. Rather than just face the demand of you giving, and then give some more. It is difficult to be a generous person, when you feel you are taken for granted.

Expect less from people but more from yourself.

Every time I felt I made an achievement it was when I met people’s expectations. Even at work I know my coworkers and students have expectations to my performance. Why should they expect less? Why should I expect less from others than what I know they are capable of?

It is no secret I strongly believe in being the best possible version of myself. That is my drive. I also strongly believe in letting people around me become the best possible version of themselves. It is called self-realization.

There is a good chanse I am wrong, but to self-actualize trigger both your interests and your self-esteem, and when you achieve that feeling, whether it is because you focus more on what you do today or you find it in your heart to give more, that is when I believe you are happy.

Shake it off!

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

~author unknown, shared on Facebook~

With help from friends

A friend of mine is suffering from manic depression. The other day she posted this message on facebook:

“Hey, just want to say that I immensely appreciate the support, encouragement and comfort I get when days are really low... relax; today I'm not looking for praise, I'm fine (but bad days will appear again for sure, it’s just how I’m assembled).

There is one thing I want to ask though (and remember that I am super grateful and do not want to hurt anyone!) But please never say "Breathe deeply, breeeaaaaathe…”

This just reminds me about when I was in labour and my oldest kid was to be born. He spent unlikely long hours before he dared to face the world. When I was offered Nitrous oxide, (what a wonderful positive word), who in their right mind refuse something like that? I got a mask to breathe through,  it was attached to a hose which was attached to a gas thingy ... and when they turned it on the sound Bzzzzzzz  sounded all the time; it didn’t stop! I tried to ignore it and took some harsh stomach deductions to maybe be able to laugh a little in spite of everything. I thought at first that it was the sound that made me not feel the effect (and I don’t think I was very eloquent when I threw it away. My husband saw his chance to try it too, but he didn’t get particularly cheerful: he remained as ghastly and pale as he was before he breathed through the mask ...... So, if I hyperventilate, or forget to breathe, do not say "Breathe deeply, breeeaaaaathe…”, please”.

I so totally get that… I think(?). She is aware that she has quite a few wonderful friends out there, who want nothing but what is best for her, but sometimes when we are really down we are just not capable of listening to good advice. Especially not from people who don’t really know what it is like, but have learned the good techniques from textbooks or movies. And to most that is the only point of reference they have.

Sometimes we just need to feel it is ok to be with someone without talking. Sometimes we need to get things out and just cry until we are exhausted… and foetal position is really seriously underestimated. Sometimes we need to be alone. Most of all we need to be sure that whatever happens in the room stays in the room, until we decide to tell the world ourselves.

I am not manic myself. Actually, I am so calm it is annoying to others at times. But I have family members and friends who suffer from this unpredictable mental suffering. Not only do you suffer from extreme highs and lows, but you can never really be sure when life again turns upside-down and everything you planned was just that: a plan. A plan you are incapable of going through with or execute.

Good friends are really important when that happens. To be down, without really knowing why, is quite stressful. The knowledge of how you put others down because you can’t cope makes it worse.

Good friends will want to help, and the notion of friends still being around is to great help! But, what if you do your best, doing and saying whatever the textbooks and movies told you should be done and said, and it just turns out to be a situation where you are brushed off? You get insecure and withdraw from that person, reluctantly, because you get the feeling you are not good for your friend who suffer.

Being brave enough to say: Yes, I immensely appreciate the support, encouragement and comfort I get when days are really low, but please help me on my own terms, is maybe the best token of friendship anyone can give his/her friends.

Total Class,please read it all !

THIS IS A KEEPER!!!!

It happened at a New York Airport. This is hilarious. I
wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United
Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while
making her point, when confro...nted with a passenger who probably
deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to
deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A
single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try
to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm
sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that
the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her
public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14".

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically,
the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir,
you'll have to get in line for that, too."

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to
dance in the rain.

 

~author unknown, shared on Facebook ~

Radio Luxembourg and me

Facebook opens up to new horizons in unpredicted ways. One of the groups I really enjoy is, the Radio Luxembourg 208 fans Group. Getting to know the facts and history behind this radio station is to me a real treat.

I am by no means scientific about it or a person with profound knowledge about Radio Luxembourg… actually I know nothing about the facts and figures related to it, neither do I know a lot about the people behind the transmission, but I really enjoy picking up bits of history from the archive gathered, and the memories, posted on the facebook group page. It is as if I now get to learn about what I actually took an interest in as a very young teenager.

Still, in spite of my ignorance, Radio Luxembourg has had a great impact on my life. When I was a young teenager, even as young as 11, I used to tune in on the channel at night and have a field day (or night, rather) with music; both chart-toppers and music outside the mainstream musical liking. (Apparently, the reason why I couldn't pick up on the signals too well during daytime has to do with sunray and activity...?)

I used to record the transmission, edit the talking out and by that got tape cassettes with collections of great music. I still got them; drawers full of tape cassettes I have just started transferring to Mp3 files. Without my idiot proof 5 in 1 stereo I would never have taken on the projec (I think) no matter how nostalgic. Good thing I am a living evidence that lazy people find good solutions to demanding tasks.

Listening to my recordings now, it is easy to imagine I must have had an ear for music… or perhaps it was just the influence my much older siblings had on me, which kicked in. They played in various bands, playing just about any instrument they fancied.

In retrospect I think I to some extent took part in the infancy of rock and pop by listening to the transmissions from Radio Luxembourg. I was introduced to new genres at an early stage and learned how to appreciate them. Some of my peers were really dubious to my liking for music they had not heard before and my style in clothes reflected my willingness to embrace and accept different musical genres.

As a teenager I spent most of my spare time writing and performing music. Then I got less time on my hands and had to prioritize, and music was one of the things that gave way first. Passion for music never decreased, but I left it up to others to create and perform. 

Living in Norway, at that time, meant we only had one TV channel and one radio channel. What was broadcasted was main stream and to a large extent in Norwegian, apart from detective series like Derrick, Columbo and McCloud… and The Eurovision Song Contest (Still remember how to give points in four different languages). English was our foreign language in school, but often the teachers had less knowledge of the language than the students. I derived huge advantage pronunciation wise from listening to Radio Luxembourg. I guess the hosts and dj’s “rambling on” back then are to blame for the quasi British accent I have today.

Pop music is a genre that will always be around. And it will continue to upset, thrill and comfort people. The beat and the lyrics not only support people’s mood and life situation; it also reflects the lifestyle, values, fashion and trends. People will always listen to music and music labels and radio stations will continue to track what songs people are listening to. Radio stations will still be important for introducing artists and musical styles new to the market. For as long as radio stations are transmitting (whatever form they may take in the future) and people are playing and listening to music, there will always be a chart-topper, musical icons and evolvement in use of instruments and various effects. Music will surround us where ever we are, but Radio Luxembourg is history. Part of my history.

Water vs Coke

 

Very interesting indeed! Water or Coke? We all know that water is important but I’ve never seen it written down like this before.
 
WATER

 1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.

2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.

3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 30%.

4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.

5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

And now for the properties of COKE

1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.

3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the “real thing” sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.

4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

For Your Info

 1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.

2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.

3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water or coke?

( ~ Smoking Hot Mama Club  > Clif Brooks ~ )

Up to date or not up to date...

I was very lucky to get internet at a very early stage. When I first got internet nothing could be found there, so everything we wanted to find online we had to post ourselves. There were no pictures and no sound. Well, no sound apart from a casual “pling” now and again.

Internet evolved. More and more contents could be found. Commercial became a loyal companion to every site I visited, and before long advertisements for dating sites were just as common on the margins (on either side) of my screen as makeup, clothes and diets.

For a long time I was reluctant, but early February 2011 I established my Facebook profile, and soon I had Facebook friends, updates, likes and shares. I got involved in the discussions about what others had posted and why and how and when.

You pay more attention to what appears in the margin on Facebook. Don’t know why, but I do. To the left you got the apps and the invites, to the right you have the consumers’ advertisements about everything and nothing which will make your life improve; and there is one thing in particular I have noted as a curiosity.

Steadily a dating site shows up where an amazing amount of single people are searching for a partner. Don’t misunderstand me, I have no prejudice or negative thoughts on people who see this as a solution worth trying. Actually I think it is a good way to start looking for a significant partner.

BUT. There is one thing which astonishes me; one of the dating sites has used the picture of the same man this entire time to advertise for their site.

I told a friend about this, and late the same evening she gave me a call. Very amused she told me that she established her Facebook profile 6 years ago, and now (looking at the picture shown and thinking about it) she was pretty sure the same picture had been on that dating site the entire time! For 6 years!!!!!!!!

If he still hasn’t «found» anyone, it must mean he is a hopeless romantic who still hoping to find the perfect partner… or maybe he just isn’t very perspicacious.

Someone have mercy on that guy! I strongly consider sending him a postcard saying: “You probably do best on your own». I mean; if you can’t find it online, you probably have to find it elsewhere… and then post it, on facebook to share, perhaps?

Life.....

Life. So fascinating in itself. There is no need to be scientific about it; life concerns us all, simply because we live it. We don’t usually start analyzing the smallest form of life known to man, or when we can start counting the days we’ve lived. We are just alive living! And unless we fall into the trap of exploring the mystery behind how it is possible we can lead a full life, making choices and do purposeful actions, life is pretty neat. It is so basic, so profound that man does almost anything to stay alive, even when we face the end.

We hear about those who find peace of mind and face the end of their lives with await. They have come to terms with what is about to happen: Life, the one we know of, is about to end. Others have been in life threatening situations, reporting how the life they’ve lived (so far) passed them by.

To most, of those I have heard of, an experience like that changes their values, beliefs and how they conduct their lifestyle. They got a second chance. Usually, when we talk about second chances, it means to do better according to the insight we gained from the past experience. I have never heard about people referring to a second chance as a new direction on their own behalf: someone else/others are involved.

The nature of life has always been food for thoughts. To get answers to the questions about life and death, and try to make sense of the puzzling phenomena of life, is part of what we do when trying to find our inner self.

Great thinkers like philosophers, authors, scientists and just the average man on the street have all pondered about life. Not just life itself, but what was before and what will be next? We look for answers. Most find it in religion, some work hard to have no religion, a few make a point of abusing religion. Same thing goes for politics and both can be strengthened by lifestyle.

Literature, on every level and every genre, is full of wisdom and quotes on how to lead a meaningful life. And that is what we all struggle to do; we go through life on a quest to find a purpose… and live it.

We have this urge to make a difference, to live life to the full and leave behind a legacy of some kind.

“Notice that our ordinary, everyday concept of life does not settle what the true nature of life is. Thus, we are not concerned here with careful delineation of the paradigms and stereotypes that we commonly associate with life. We want to know what life is, not what people think life is. Glass does not fall under the everyday concept of a liquid, even though chemists tell us that glass really is a liquid. Likewise, we should not object if the true nature of life happens to have some initially counterintuitive consequences”.

The Nature of Life by Mark A. Bedau (http://people.reed.edu/~mab/papers/life.OXFORD.html)

I read and understand what is written in the article quoted here, but since I don’t believe we can fully comprehend what life is (in my mind it just becomes so great, so overwhelming, it just turns out to be impossible to take in and fathom), my thoughts on what life is are to me far more important. Dreams, thoughts, plans, expectations, experiences, emotions, actions, circumstances, values, believes, the joys and sadness, the anger and grief… everything which in one way or another makes an impact on me as a person.

To me life is motion… with attached emotions. That is what life is, and what makes life so precious.... to me.

Having feelings...

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine. She had a lot on her mind and told me about all the upsetting situations she had to deal with and how bad she felt. And I was thinking: is it really that terrible to have feelings? I may be totally wrong, but we embrace being happy, why is it we feel universe is not on our side, just because we feel sad? An upsetting situation is one thing, that is a problem which has to be dealt with, but to focus on the feelings you have to the situation, rather than the actual problem just seems… erroneous, to me. Kind of a double-edged issue that. What is most upsetting of the two: the problem or the feelings it stirrers?

Believe me: I have felt every feeling I know of. (Being a woman I know about a LOT of different feelings, and every shade of them too.) And just in case I forgot about any of them I searched the net for a list of feelings. All the websites I found operated with a list of 7 – 11 basic feelings, and all of the basic feelings have a range of intensity to them. The list of feeling words is pretty extensive, but our basic feelings are: Joy, Interest, Surprise, Fear (anxiety), Anger, Sadness and Disgust.

Many people are like drama queens, we read them as someone who feels too much. All the time! Their mood and their acting out, makes them kind of unpredictable and a lot of work to relate to. They express that the sadness and anger in their life prevent them from having the happy life they want. Some just want to be satisfied, on every level, regardless of how they affect people in their social circle. They over indulge and damage their relationships; it is like as if they are indifferent to how they in the future will suffer the consequences. They act impulsively and then regret the result. Thinking about it I have never heard them apologize, but I hear them excuse themselves a lot.

Other people are more expressionless. They don’t know what or how they feel, not even when they are feeling it. Actually, I think they do know, but they just can’t find a way or words to express them in what they think would be a socially accepted way.

In many ways I think it is sad that we (read: society) say that men don’t cry. We teach our sons that they shouldn’t cry; it is a sign of weakness we don’t accept men to hold.  A result of this is that many men remain unable to express true feelings the way women often expect them to. (Funny that: even though we know for a fact men most times are unable to do so, we keep expecting them to show the same reactions we would find natural to express ourselves.) Men seem to “suck it up” and go forward even when it would have been appropriate to show some emotion (again: according to women, I think, based on what my friends tell me).

Men often say they only hold three feelings, good, bad or pissed-off. Woman often have a very differentiated feelings pallet. Woman typically have more feeling words and they understand the labels differently than most men. Maybe that is why we so often misunderstand each other. Maybe we lack the will to misunderstand each other correctly (I just love that phrasing, and use it a lot… in many situations it is very descriptive and correct).

The result is that men often fail to name how they feel. As a result they tend to do or say nothing until overwhelmed.

Or so I have been taught. I wonder: why is it so important to show emotions? Why don’t we accept that those who are entitled to have emotions towards a comment, event or situation keep them to themselves? Why do we claim the right to take part? How do we know that those who seem expression- or emotionless are not even more affected than others? Just wondering…

Then again, not everyone experiences feelings in the same way. Past experience, beliefs, values, and qualities play a role in how we perceive what happens to us. When hurt in the past many don’t instantly trust whoever coax out positive feelings in them: Feelings similar to the feelings which exposed us to be vulnerable before. Some protect themselves so much they appear shut off emotionally. Others mourn their loss and then throw themselves back into the quest for emotionally interplay with compatible soulmates. Whether they are of creative, friendship or romantic nature… or any other kind of relationship we depend upon.

I think most would agree that feelings are either negative or positive.Some feelings are protective. The feeling in your gut that tells you this is dangerous: our intuition.

Courage is not the lack of fear, it is the ability to fully see the situation, but to take action even though it represent real danger. Othrwise it wouldn't be brave, would it?

Positive feelings can help create and expand friendships and working relationships. Negative feelings can warn you to avoid dysfunctional relationships and abusive situations.

(I am not going to start the arguments on this one, but we all know the women who walk into doors every other day, and fall down the stairs in weekends… they know they live in a relationship not good for them, BUT they love him.)

To feel good is the best thing ever. There is nothing in the world which can beat that, regardless of living conditions. But… why is it so bad to feel sad or angry or insulted or angry? If we only felt good, how could we appreciate it if we didn’t know otherwise?

Do you know and feel your feelings? Are feelings your friends or do they just cause you a lot of trouble?