My collection of wise, and not so wise, postings

Friday 14 December 2012

Planning for Christmas

I always plan what to do, when, to get ready for Christmas.
Getting ready for Christmas means that the entire month of December is filled with activities and spending money... at least on paper it is.

My list this year looked something like this:

November 29th and 30th: wrap and number all the gifts for the kids’ Advent Calendars.
December 1st:           Hang the Advent star in window.
                                   Hang the outdoor lighting.
                                   Get the advent candelabra ready.

December 2nd:          Bake one kind of cookie.
                                   Attend the lighting of public outdoor Christmas tree.

December 3rd:          Plan and get hold of everything I need to make Christmas cards.

December 4th:          Make Christmas cards and write them (List of receivers)

December 5th:          Bake one kind of cookie.
                                   Cleaning the windows on the inside.

December 6th:          Write Christmas cards
                                   Wrap the gifts to be sent by mail.

-       - - - - - - - - -
December 13th:        Remember white coat and tinsel for kindergarten > practise song
Bake saffron buns > the day of Saint Lucia



December 15th:        Birthday party!

December 16th:        Bake one kind of cookie

... and the list goes on.

The problem with writing lists is that you plan as if everyday life is predictable. I fall into the trap EVERY time.

I never planned of being appointed examiner and external examiner for make-up examination.
I never planned on heavy snowfall and following extensive snow clearing. (This part of the country never plan on snow... it is abnormal to have heavy snowfall here. Not like where I grew up, where it is the rule.
I never planned on serious traffic chaos, causing hours of delay getting anywhere.
I never planned on my son wanting to celebrate his birthday arranging a gaming night and sleep over.
I just ignored the possebility of things happen. All of these nothings which end up being time consuming when added up. Everyday life must go on; I can’t put life on hold just because I want to do something extra.

Today’s state: Advent calendar made,  advent candelabra displayed and two lights lit, windows cleaned, all the lighting planned on hung... Day of Saint Lucia marked...

Saturday 8 December 2012

Difficult being young(?)

There is a lot which can be said about young people of today, but in spite of (or maybe because of) all the chaos they need to deal with; working with teenagers is never boring.

Oh, it is tedious, straining, challenging, time consuming, difficult, sometimes sad, but the entertainment value is  insuperable! There is a lot of good humour going around, and the excuses they give for undone work or absence are so much more inventive than anything we ever came up with when I attended school as a student.

Even though they question the world and their own opinions, I sometimes feel that a lot of the problem we tend to ascribe them, is based in the fact that teenagers are open to ideas, but lack the ability to give serious thought and reflect on consequences these ideas may have. And that makes sense, as they do not know yet what impact their future responsebilities will have on their life and their way of living. Adult life has not yet been exposed to them to its full extent.

Still, being a teenager means you have to make major life decisions. Society expect you to plot the course for the rest of your life. Your future and what you intend to do with it.
Maybe the impact they are exposed to is so massive they feel they need to move on, rather than slow down and get things sorted out gradually. Issues pile up and unresolved matters pop up at the most unconvenient of times.
I have no problems understanding that sometimes school comes last on the prioritylist.

The other day I read a report saying that 23% of all young adults have been given professional help for mental issues. 36% think they, at some point in life, needed that kind of help.
At the same time relatively few under the age of 18 have been given help; an indication that many get help too late. Getting help too late may cause more comprehensive problems later on, as time pass.

I can’t say I knew of anyone who got professional help, among my peers, when I was a teenager. Maybe it was more secret: nothing we spoke about or wanted anyone to know.
If that is the case, I think it is a good thing we have moved forward and acknowledge that there is nothing abnormal about having problems, and some times we need help to sort them out or identify which ones are real problems and which ones are part of dealing with life.
Maybe some teenagers act out just because they think they are expected to and therefore they think they can get away with it.

It is easier if you have parents to support you, but many parents feel almost alienated when trying to get involved in their kid’s life. They feel that they are to blame if things are not on track and that society is more of an opponent rather than a resource for getting help.
Being a teacher I often see how grateful the students are when they know you go that extra mile for them: When you guide them or provide answers, even though they know it is not really part of your job.
Parents, who understand we take action not to break them or their kid, but to introduce them to solutions most times express relief.. Even when the solutions interfere in their household or perhaps even take charge of aspects in their life. System of society is a hard maze to figure out.

I get the impression that many teenagers feel they have a heavy burden on their shoulders because they need to make crucial  decisions even though they have not made up their mind what they want to do for the rest of their lives, or even know what they take a serious interest in. Imagine to get up every morning, for the rest of your adult, working life dreading the day that lays ahead, just because you hate your profession or job. As an adult with a full time job I know how many hours you put down in your job, and how it affects both your life and you as a person.
Further on they think that if they make the wrong decision then they are screwed, especially if they are not sure what they want to do yet. They have a lot of expectation on them, but at the same time they are still treated like they don't know anything at all, most of the time. And (and I have not quite figured this one out, because either it may be a stroke of genius, or they are really so naive they think it really should be so) they often act as if they expect to be perceived as clueless.

That being said: I have the impression we way too often underestimate teenagers and young adults. Yes, life itself and society generously hand out challenges and problems. Thing is; life does not discriminate. Everybody at all ages have to face what life brings.

I am lucky to remember my own teens. I remember them as busy and full of dilemmas, but it was great, most of the time... I think teenagers of today will feel the same way... in 20 years.