Asking yourself questions on facebook, getting the answers you want, always has the right outcome. It's the new talking to yourself... which I am old fashioned enough to do, on frequent and regular basis.
I have not reached the point of posting my questions to myself, and then reply, on facebook... not yet, anyway.But I appreciate the opportunity to ask the universe for the ultimate solution, though.
I also see the attraction of posting on facebook, thinking you are the one to respond, not expecting anyone else to reply. You don't get that social loser feeling, IF someone replies it's a mere bonus.
When I am upset with noone in particular, or I am pondering about something I not only fall into thoughts: I also murmur. Now, my family is used to hear me mumble, and they know I then have a moment of private expression of discontent.
Years ago they thought I was angry, maybe with them, maybe someone or something else... they weren't sure. They would stop making noise and tiptoed around the house as if not to wake my anger. Very unfortunate to have unintendently created that kind of insecurity in them, but we had a talk as soon as they had the courage to ask why I some times were angry with them, when I was in the kitchen by myself. They preferred I just confronted them.
Now, that made me take a close look at myself. I am not an angry person, and it made me sad I upset them by my really bad habit. I understand their reaction, and I am sorry about the light anxiety I caused.
Me clinging to the old fashioned way has the drawback people around me are at best suspicious about my mumbling. I don't know why. I see people talking to themselves everywhere. Well, not really talking to themselves, but they talk with no shame, in a loud voice, when noone is their apparent partner in the conversation.
Thinking about it, I should buy one of those earpieces people use when talking on the phone, loud, in public. Not because I want to talk more on the phone, which I hate, but because that is acceptable now.
I was brought up learning that we should keep conversations on the phone private. Our phone was placed in a small hallway not very often used for any other purpose than talking on the phone. The door was open so we could hear the ringing through the entire house, but our conversations were private.
Now people talk everywhere, not even bothering to move away from the group they are in the midst of, or lowering their voice. It actually some times feel like as when people get a more expencive phone, they raise their voice another notch. Not only that: I have on occasions left the room, because I was embarrassed on their behalf.
To be honest I find people's relationship to their phone is rather annoying. So many seem to be addicted to their phone: they never really leave it alone, but check for activity on it constantly. Updates on status, messages and postings is an ongoing, constant behaviour.
People don't even see how rude it is, to abruptly disengage in their face to face conversations, just because they get a message, or a phonecall. I feel so stupid sometimes, just left hanging there.
Back in the days (a couple of years ago) we thought people talking to themselves in a loud manner were a bit.... challenged. Now they are excused because obviously they are on the phone. Even when they sing lullabyes while shopping groceries... or ask whether they should or want... or not.
I am not on the phone, I don't have that excuse, but I searched the net, and got my reasons for talking to myself confirmed:
Here are a few things self-talk can do for you:
- Give yourself a shoutout. Even if no one else seems to be appreciating you at the moment, compliment yourself on the way you handled a difficult situation, left your comfort zone for a new adventure, or just got through a busy day.
- Give yourself a pep talk. We could all use a motivational speaker from time to time, but we don’t always have one handy. Self-talk can help you motivate yourself to achieve a goal at work, in a relationship, or in your personal behavior.
- Debate both sides of a difficult decision. Saying your options out loud and elaborating on the pros and cons can help bring the right choice to light, and you might be surprised at the unexpected direction your thoughts take when they’re audible.
- Blow off steam. If you’re not the type to confront people who tick you off, talk to yourself about how they bother you or how unfair a situation is. Introverts are especially prone to missing opportunities to assert themselves. Put the “self” back in self-assertion.
- Understand your thoughts better. Sometimes we’re sure we think one way, but our psyche tells us differently. Have you ever found yourself crying when you didn’t think anything was wrong? That’s your subconscious letting you know. Invite it to join your conversation to bring you to new levels of self-awareness.
- Rehearse a difficult conversation. Practicing what you need to say to get your points across clearly and without anger will put you in a much better position when it comes time to communicate about a tough issue.
- Boost your memory. Research shows that saying the location out loud when you place an object will help you remember where you put it.
- Shake off stress and anxiety. Who couldn’t use one more way to get rid of stress? Work it through with a monologue.
- Improve attention span and concentration. Indeed, many people with ADD talk to themselves to help bring a tangle of thoughts into focus. Notice how often you see athletes muttering under their breath before an event; they’re calming themselves down (#8) and pumping themselves up (#2). It works.
