Every day I pick up my mail, and every time
I get equally distressed. The mailbox is filled with commercial leaflets and
bills, and apart from the newspaper, which arrives sometime during the night, that’s
what’s in my mail.
I know the newspaper arrives around 3am ‘cause
I “sometimes” am still up at the time. I pick it up on my way back in the house
after walking my dog in the morning, and I always plan on reading it while
drinking that first, food for soul cup of coffee. Being optimistic about it is
more than half the fun of it; time flies in the morning and I rarely get time
to neither coffee nor newspaper.
Not only does my mail add industrial amount
of paper; it is also somewhat depressing. Commercials and bills: It’s like the
only attention I get, is from those who want money from me.
It used to be different, though.
“It was customary to send important notices with traditional electric
telegraphy, seriously developed by the American Samuel Morse in the 1840s,
Mediterra-1800s until the technique was gradually replaced by telex until the
1970s, since fax and today’s various types of electronic messaging services,
including email and text messages. The sender usually ordered telegram over the
phone or directly in the expedition into a telegraph station and paid a fee
that varied with the number of words and the distance to the receiver. The
message was sent to the receiving station, was printed and delivered to the
addressee by a messenger, and later on, mail or telephone bids. The method was
much faster than old-fashioned letter postal services.
The Norwegian Telegrafvæsen opened Norway's first civilian telegraph
line in 1855. The first telegram between Europe and the United States was
exchanged in 1858. (Wikipedia)
Telegrams. The feeling when a stranger knocked on your door and handed
you a friendly envelope. It’s
pretty special, I tell you. I have my parents’ congratulation telegrams from
their wedding. Adorned with a carefully painted flower and the Norwegian crest
it looks like something somebody put some effort into, even though it’s typed
on a typewriter with glass keys.
Seeing them now with the characteristic
print which typing machines left, brings the sound, the click, of each pounding to
my ear and the smell of old paper imaginary(?) hovering in the room.
Now most of us barely think of anything to write to congratulate
someone for any reason. We tend to use our digital platforms, like email, text
or Facebook, Twitter… or any other digital, already made, easy to click
platform to show we remember their occasion. We, in return, click the like
button. I am not saying that social medias are insignificant or without value
as a forum, not at all: I send most of my birthday greetings on facebook,
adding a birthday song and a “Happy birthday!” carefully picked from youtube.
Or, we order seasonal cards with picture and text printed, and we send
it off to family and friends only adding the address on the envelope… unless we
send it by mail or text.
Then we are a few who believe in the old fashioned way of doing things.
I make about 70 easy-to-make-papercraft Christmas cards every year. The
one time a year I make an effort. I have to admit they look at best
questionable, but they are made by yours truly (with help from my kids, of
course), and the writing is in my own handprint. I don’t even know what people
think of them, apart from they remember they got it.
And yet, I know I should be a lot better at expressing my appreciation by sending a
note. Not only because I, myself, feel it’s a highlight of the day to get
something handwritten and personal in the mail, but I also feel it hard to
express appreciation which very often is taken as awkward, mooshy blah, blah.. I am
terrible at accepting help, I am almost just as bad at saying thank you.
A journalist I know told me he sends thank-you notes to those who help
with election votes. When I asked why, he told me that:
“Sometimes I may send an email, but I have a box
of thank you notes with the paper's logo on it. I send to the election people
because we're always on such a tight deadline and the pressure is bad. They
help out tremendously.
I may just jot off a quick "Thank you for
your help. It made my job a lot easier and less stressful. I appreciate
it." and then I put my name, etc.
I figure they get complaints a lot since they are
public servants and deal with people a lot. So, a written thank you is
something they can see and pass to other workers. Helps morale and it helps me
because they will remember that and help me again next time”. (And guess what, when I say "told me" I am referring to a chat on a social media. I never heard his voice!)
OK, so his routine is a hoot; a joke
that nevertheless points up the truth that some of the boring stuff your
parents made you do never actually goes out of fashion. We are all familiar
with thank you notes, and their purpose, even though it is not an everyday
issue in our house or in the family.
I find sending thank you notes so sympathetic, and though it
might be something people did back in the old days, it doesn’t mean it
is old fashioned or out dated. In a digital world, it is so incredibly
important to have the dignity to sit down and write something in your own hand.
It adds emotions. You know when people say: it’s not personal; it’s business.
What a stupid thing to say, it only proves that we have lost the willingness or
ability to take into consideration that people we deal with have feelings, and
sometimes it is very personal to them. They might have gone out of their way to
benefit you. Then a text just doesn’t cut it. Conveying emotion in digital
formats is a lost cause.
Let people understand they have been
noticed, they have been seen. There is nothing silly, old fashioned or outdated
about it, on the contrary: I strongly believe that people through history has
done a lot of smart and kind things. Some made life easier, some made others
feel better about themselves, and they knew this is a good circle to be in:
what goes around, comes around.
