Stress-less

Last night my son's friend's mother was shocked learning I have not yet started preparing for Christmas. We were talking about this and that, and I happened to mention I have not done a lot to prepare for the holidays… not yet, anyway.

I have put out more candles than I usually have around, I have hung the star in the window, the advent candelabra is on the table and two candles have been lit (four candles and we light one more each of the four last Sundays before Christmas), my kids’ advent calendars are displayed (and almost half emptied), my kids have their miniature Christmas trees in their rooms and I have displayed a carved wooden Nativity scene I once bought in Jerusalem a hot, sunny day in July, years ago.

I have no curtains in my house, so I have not hung seasonal curtains. I have not cleaned the windows. I have done some baking, but those cookies are gone. I have not bought any presents yet, apart for the two I send by mail. I have not even ordered the pictures I am to add to the Christmas cards… which I have not yet made.

Well…. I didn’t get any further on my rambling ons about the few things I actually have gotten round to do, and everything I have not done yet: my friend got into a state of frantic flickering eyes and heavy breathing, bordering to hyperventilation. It was like as if my laid back attitude had an impact on her own doings and the state of her house.

A couple of years ago I suffered from a serious stress attack. It is not recommended: It hurts. Not only did my entire body ache, but I experienced this surreal notion of being benumbed. I have not yet totally recovered; now and again I still get this pricking sensation of shooting pain through the sole of my foot when I take a step.

Anyway; I had to make a choice, and it was an easy one to make: Slow down!

The thing I could ease up on, without feeling I neglected anyone, was the house. I don’t panic anymore, when I look around my house and see things scattered on the floor. I keep it clean, but not always tidy. When people drop by I don’t fold the towels in frantic speed to get them out of the way. I have told myself we all have laundry, and people tell me I am right. When I invite people over, I often do it on weeknights for supper. You need a loaf of bread, butter, bread spread, cold cuts, jam and a cheese. And then milk, coffee and tea to swallow it down with. Keep it simple and don’t always assume people want royal treatment. Friends don’t want to feel guilty for dropping by, or visit; they want to enjoy the company of someone who is comfortable around them.

I don’t curl up inside because there is an unwashed pot in the sink. It’s not going anywhere, I can clean it later. Besides, lighting candles hide a lot of clutter. It just isn’t as obvious anymore, because you focus on the coze, rather than scanning the room for what is out of place.

There is a vast difference between having a spotless house and to neglect the house. At the end of the day I now have a home we live, play and work in, rather than having a house on display.

Friends don’t mind, actually they like it and relax more around me, but most important: I enjoy being with friends more now, than I did before. It makes me a happier, more positive and supporting friend. I even find my friends more supporting too.

«Meglio vivere un giorno da leone che cento anni da pecora.»

"It is better to live one day as a lion than a hundred years as a sheep.

«Det er bedre å leve en dag som løve enn hundre år som en sau.»

I don’t know how much Benito Mussolini knew about agriculture. But this is, as far as I know the quote he is the most famous for.

Last summer we went to Turkey. On a daytrip we visited Alanya Castle with a group of tourists. One of the men was from Italy, and I told him “I have been told that “Meglio vivere….”, and like in a flip of a coin he got all elated, I didn’t even get to complete my sentence! (I was pretty peewish I was deprived of my moment of brilliance in Italian) He finished it for me, and then went on and on about the good things Mussolini did for Italy. I have to admit that I don’t really know a lot about Mussolini, but apparently Italians do… which is fair, but I know enough to realize that truth is an individual thing. The things he mentioned are not what I have been taught Mussolini contributed to the world. But I am sure he, like everybody else, had his moments of lucidity.

To be a lion: to roar against the world, showing off superior strength and to make a statement has something enticing and seductive about it. And the aspect of total rule (even if it is based on spreading fear) is to many very attractive.

As a leader, with the qualities of a lion you protect, you are brave, you are willing to fight, you hunt, you are part of a pride and you end up being a loner in the big scheme of things. Or, so the link below tells us. (http://ezinearticles.com/?6-Characteristics-of-the-Lion-to-Consider-For-Your-Own-Leadership&id=4046756)

I can’t help but thinking there are many kinds of lions, each with their own specific role and place. They all serve a purpose to complete the pride. Just because they don’t roar the deepest and loudest, doesn’t mean they are not important. Actually: most of the time the one lion in charge is the least significant in the pride. He steps up on special occasions only. But we still think of his qualities to be characteristic of all lions in general. And we tend to give him the qualities other members of the pride hold. Just to make him complete and close to perfect.

 

When you are a sheep, well…. Basically you are a sheep.

When I look up Characteristics of Sheep on wiki answers this is what I get:

“1. timid, fearful, easily panicked

2. dumb stupid, gullible

3. very vulnerable to fear, frustration, pests, hunger

4. easily influenced by a leader, by the shepherd

5. stampede easily, vulnerable to mob psychology

6. little or no means of self-defense; can only run

7. easily killed by enemies

8. the shepherd is most effective, calming influence

9. jealous, competitive for dominance

10. constantly need fresh water, fresh pasture

11. have very little discernment in choosing food or water

12. best water source is early morning dew

13. perverse, stubborn - will insist on their own way , even eating poisonous

plants or drinking dirty water

14. easily "cast" - flipped over on their back, unable to right themselves

will die of starvation if not turned over by shepherd; helpless

15. frequently look for easy places to rest

16. don't like to be sheared, cleaned

17. too much wool can cause sheep to be easily "cast"

18. creatures of habit; get into "ruts"

19. need the most care of all livestock

20. need to be "on the move"; need a pre-determined plan, pattern of grazing

21. totally dependent of shepherd for every need

22. need "rod and staff" guidance

And yet; They are of a gregarious nature...meaning they love to be with the herd, they are herbivores. Sheep must have a leader (shepherd) and must be told what to do and where to go, otherwise they'll wander off and get lost.”

 

I grew up on a sheep farm. I am not an expert, but I know enough about sheep to know this opinionated characteristic of sheep is totally wrong. This is more like myths about sheep, created because they are animals we herd and tend to. And we misconceive their peaceful nature to be stupidity, just because we know they are unable to protect themselves against predators. Sheep are valuable and can’t be put at risk out of carelessness, ignorance or fear of own safety.

 

Here in Norway we let the sheep graze in the mountains, much by themselves, all summer. We only check on them now and again to make sure they are doing ok… and most often they do. Not many are attacked by predators, other than dogs on the loose or an occasional bear or wolf, which are very rare. Here beasts of prey are close to extinct. Sheep do quite well on their own when left alone in a safe environment. They are easy going, laid back and quite good at living a good life. They don’t make a lot of noise; most of the time they are just content, and only baa to locate their lamb or mother, or if they strongly disagree with something… like when it’s time for shearing them. And yet they are tough (on occasions sheep have survived quite harsh winter conditions in the mountains), persistent and patient… good mothers too, with everything that includes.

 

So, Mussolini wanted to be a leader, not a disciple. He wanted to be the one in charge. Very admirable to be ambitious, but… the way I see it, those led, are only willing to be led as long as it benefits their own wants, needs and way of life.

When a leader no longer take in consideration the nature of his people, regardless of if we are talking about family, school, work, organization, country or any other group of people in some kind of coexistence, leadership ceases and it turns into ruling using different means of force. People are not dumb and stupid just because they want a good life.

 

Nature doesn’t agree with force; then harmony and productiveness turn into conflicts and corruption. As a result dissolution, disorganization and gradually annihilation set in.