having a woman advocate of feminism, as a teacher

Part of the curriculum in Norwegian is to learn about communication.

We use our language in many ways and for different purposes, one of the lessons I talk about is the power of language.

Power of language includes:

Ø  To talk on a level the listener/reader has problems understanding

Ø  Deliberate use of foreign words

Ø  Long and complicated sentences

Ø  technical language when the listener/reader doesn’t understand/has learned it

Ø  threats

Ø  arrogance

Ø  irony

Ø  harassment

Ø  ignore the listener

Ø  body language

Ø  address or attack weak points of the listener/reader

As a whole: make the listener/reader as insecure as possible.

It should be obvious that this really isn’t a kind thing to inflict on another person, but teenagers have their jargon, and more and more often I hear them talk eachother "down", and I know they are thinking they are friendly, when what they really do is to degrade each other.

One of the tasks I use to illustrate the power of language is to make them write a list on synonyms for boy/man and girl/woman.

They are to add all the words they use in everyday speech and words they know from media and literature.

I feel very uncomfortable every time I give this exercise to my students, but I do it anyway, because they learn A LOT from it.

Without exception, they write a lot more words for girl/woman, than they do for boy/man. Boy/man has about equally amount of positive and negative words. The negative words refer to sexual preferences.

Girl/woman is an even sadder matter. There are many more words on the lists; only a few of them are positive. The negative words have, to a large extent, sexual character, and not in a good way.

They try to argue that they don’t mean it degrading, but when we talk about it, they admit they understand what they say, they know the words they use are really suppressive and that words have a meaning they usually understand the extent of.

I just curl up inside in shame after class, when I see the students bring their lists with them for recess. They read it, discuss it and compare. The hall becomes a cacophony of profanity and rudeness.

The good thing about this exercise is I notice there is a change of tone in the classroom afterwards. They think more before they talk to each other and choose better words. We get less swearing too, at least in the classroom.

How they express themselves after school hours I have no hand over, but communication works a lot better at school. Not only in my lessons, but our department as a whole.

So, while the other teachers grin with a smug sneer and shake their heads, I just feel like crumble up, or wish for a big hole to open up underneath me.

BUT, as a teacher I have done worse. I have talked to classes about what socks to wear in safety shoes (you would never believe the stench synthetic socks create) and personal hygiene. Now that is “fun” in a classroom full of teenage boys. Especially when they comment upon what I have said in class, to other teachers.

I comfort myself thinking at least we have cleaner student now, both language and bodies, than most other departments of building- and constructionwork.

I guess that is the drawback of having a woman advocate of feminism, (who wears black leather jacket, jeans and high heels at work) teaching them.

Some things are hard to write about.

As much as I like to write about this and that and nothing at all, I sometimes feel there are subjects I am really concerned about, but which I don’t feel I am competent enough to write about. And yet; there is, however, sometimes things I would like to mention, just because I feel it is fair to address the issue.

There are some things about modern time I have problems accepting. The only thing I find even harder to accept is the fact that we allow it.

I don’t point fingers or accuse anybody for consciously, or deliberately, to condone the trends, but I am worried because I never hear critical voices questioning the experts.

One of these issues, which I tried to write about, but discarded because it was too hard to get my point through, was how we tend to use equal terms when we talk about children and adults.

You see: Some smart person introduced the term “children’s sexuality”. What, what? Every time I hear it, or read it, everything inside me just writhes. I strongly oppose to the term, and I do so because I don’t believe there is such a thing, at least not the way adults usually interpret the term. Kids should not be made objects like that. The experts really shouldn’t use expressions the common man on the street has specific interpretations of.

There is something totally wrong in adults apprehending children as miniature adults, and by that believing children are subjects to the same issues adults are.

Languages all around the world, at all times, have given us strong understanding of how children differs from adults: Children will grow up to be adults/ children will be adults: It is in the future! But they are not adults yet.

Oh, I know I disagree with a lot of experts and researches, but I really don’t understand why we are so eager to make children into miniature adults, rather than just accept they are children.

I want for us to accept that childhood has stages of development, some which include exploring and getting to know one’s body, but that is not, in my opinion, the same thing as sexual behavior.

I get really upset when the medias tell about assaults involving children, using the same language they do about assaults where only adults are involved.

We shouldn’t compare. There are no similarities between the two. (Sorry, yes, there are similarities, but in my opinion they are more different than the same.)

We hear about so much cruelty, and I believe it is time we find expressions which define the differences between childhood and to be an adult, both in everyday- and professional terms.

When we talk about children the same way we do about adults, it weakens the power of the contents, for victims of either age.

We kind of wear the expressions out, and by that make them more normal and less dangerous or scary.

And now that I read my text, which I intended to be about how hard it is to write about controversial issues, or things I find disturbing, I just realized I wrote it anyway.