Life on the sunny side...

I was so provoked today reading an interview with a celebrity billionaire's wife and at home mum. I could literaly feel exasperation fuming inside, feeling she was patronizing the average mum because we don't do well enough.

She stated that she thinks she sees far too many mums who give up when they get a child. She doesn't think that is healthy. The body requires even more work out as you get older. You just have to get a grip and pull yourself together. She gave an outline of her life as an at home mum to a 9-months old daughter. Highlighting how she maintained herself and her body, and the help she got from help in the house (cleaner), au pair and her own mother.

Maybe I am jealous, maybe I wish I was an at home mum with energy to get up and knit and have a cup of coffee at 5:30am... But I honestly don't think so. It is no secret I moan a lot about how my life sometimes feels like a constant roundabout. I feel stuck in a stress mess which never seems to slow down because new issues always appear on the stage of life. Being dead honest I have to admit I chose my own life: education, work, children, house, friends, lifestyle, values... I lay my own bed and frankly; I think that, in spite of everything, life is quite good.

BUT! There is always a "but". It is abnormal to be fully content, isn't it? There has to be some pebbles to even out the score. To be too happy in life would create a worry thet something must go wrong, and it will happen any time soon... In my mind I am thinking that the easy-life-mum probably have just as many problems to deal with as anyone else, they are just of another nature than mine.

So, if I can reconsider my priorities, shuffle my schedule about a bit, buy a new pair of shoes (I have no training shoes, so that alone is a BIG boost and motivation for what I am going to consider as a lifechange) and really make up my mind to be serious about it: I think I could do this. Don't think I will go over the top and set high goals; I have this notion that if I am to do something it must appear manageable both practically feasible and timewise.

After all: She is right! Mums should set off time time to work out more (or in many cases: to start work out and get some training fitted into their everyday life).

They say training create energy to cope better, and if I get this done my kids should benefit from it.

To not feel guilty for bodily decay, to get in shape and look better are all good reasons, but perhaps not the drive I need to follow it through.

Writing this I started feeling pretty pleased with the new born idea that all the clothes in my wardrobe, which I keep for later when they will fit, some time in the future, perhaps, by miracle, will fit me and look good IF I actually do this.

The best thing, perhaps, about it is that it creates a legal reason to get some time on my own. Noone nagging, noone calling my name, a perfectly acceptable reason to not answering the phone... in short: peace and quiet to clear my mind and sort things out in my head. Time to think things through, and get done with issues I ponder about, but never really get off my mind.

It never came up in the interview, but I think that the best reason to start working out would be to lighten my load, get it off my chest and carry on!!

Bullying...

Lately there has been a lot of focus on bullying, or victimization (which, in my mind, strikes me to be a far better expression) in the medias here in Norway.

Bullying, or to bully someone, is one of these words which for some reason has lost its meaning. I strongly believe that words have signification. That words really mean something and cause values, actions and identity in people.

For some reason we pick some words and wear them out, by using them too often. Every shade of the meaning boils down to the one expression and render them harmless. We take away the scary and threatening dimensions in the words and make them into householdwords, with no specific understanding of the degree of seriousness of its contents.

We are not talking about teasing, picking on, hassling, bugging, pestering, annoying or any other way of occasionally “clash-togethers”. We are talking about when someone is treated abusively or is affected by means of force or threat through expression of intention to inflict evil, injury, or damage. Or, excluding another person with the intent to isolate the subject socially.

I recognize the existence of this behavior. A behavior which I feel is criminal, yet I hesitate to call it that, due to the fact that most ages conduct this misbehavior.

Very young children take part, and I am saddened by thinking they must have learned it from someone. I refuse to think it is part of human nature. Bullying is far too cruel for that.

And yet; what I find really frightening, on my own behalf, is that I do not understand what drives someone to bully anyone, but when it is a fact; I very often understand why a particular person has been picked out to be a victim. It is not anything against the person, or has anything to do with negative relations towards that person, but I see what made that person a suitable target for a bully.

Reading and listening to the heartbreaking stories from victims I suddenly came to think about the numerous students I have had over the years who were brave enough to tell their teachers they had suffered from being bullied.

Often these stories included people who had failed to take action and make it stop, even though they knew... or must have known unless they chose to dismiss it as insignificant or made up.

Knowing what devastating impact bullying has on a person exposed to it, I am glad christmas has not solely been devoted to merry get togethers and fancy laying of tables... and other decorations: It has also been a time to reflect over what to do to become better versions of ourselves.

But... I can’t help from thinking: I know what to do and say to support a victim of bullying, but I honestly do not know what to do or say to make things right.

"You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!" — Maya Angelou

(If only that was true for everybody....)


http://theforeigner.no/pages/news/norway-pm-praises-women-bravery-condemns-bullying/