Bullying...

Lately there has been a lot of focus on bullying, or victimization (which, in my mind, strikes me to be a far better expression) in the medias here in Norway.

Bullying, or to bully someone, is one of these words which for some reason has lost its meaning. I strongly believe that words have signification. That words really mean something and cause values, actions and identity in people.

For some reason we pick some words and wear them out, by using them too often. Every shade of the meaning boils down to the one expression and render them harmless. We take away the scary and threatening dimensions in the words and make them into householdwords, with no specific understanding of the degree of seriousness of its contents.

We are not talking about teasing, picking on, hassling, bugging, pestering, annoying or any other way of occasionally “clash-togethers”. We are talking about when someone is treated abusively or is affected by means of force or threat through expression of intention to inflict evil, injury, or damage. Or, excluding another person with the intent to isolate the subject socially.

I recognize the existence of this behavior. A behavior which I feel is criminal, yet I hesitate to call it that, due to the fact that most ages conduct this misbehavior.

Very young children take part, and I am saddened by thinking they must have learned it from someone. I refuse to think it is part of human nature. Bullying is far too cruel for that.

And yet; what I find really frightening, on my own behalf, is that I do not understand what drives someone to bully anyone, but when it is a fact; I very often understand why a particular person has been picked out to be a victim. It is not anything against the person, or has anything to do with negative relations towards that person, but I see what made that person a suitable target for a bully.

Reading and listening to the heartbreaking stories from victims I suddenly came to think about the numerous students I have had over the years who were brave enough to tell their teachers they had suffered from being bullied.

Often these stories included people who had failed to take action and make it stop, even though they knew... or must have known unless they chose to dismiss it as insignificant or made up.

Knowing what devastating impact bullying has on a person exposed to it, I am glad christmas has not solely been devoted to merry get togethers and fancy laying of tables... and other decorations: It has also been a time to reflect over what to do to become better versions of ourselves.

But... I can’t help from thinking: I know what to do and say to support a victim of bullying, but I honestly do not know what to do or say to make things right.

"You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!" — Maya Angelou

(If only that was true for everybody....)


http://theforeigner.no/pages/news/norway-pm-praises-women-bravery-condemns-bullying/

Planning for Christmas

I always plan what to do, when, to get ready for Christmas.

Getting ready for Christmas means that the entire month of December is filled with activities and spending money... at least on paper it is.

My list this year looked something like this:

November 29^th and 30^th: wrap and number all the gifts for the kids’ Advent Calendars.

December 1^st:           Hang the Advent star in window.

                                   Hang the outdoor lighting.

                                   Get the advent candelabra ready.

December 2^nd:          Bake one kind of cookie.

                                   Attend the lighting of public outdoor Christmas tree.

December 3^rd:          Plan and get hold of everything I need to make Christmas cards.

December 4^th:          Make Christmas cards and write them (List of receivers)

December 5^th:          Bake one kind of cookie.

                                   Cleaning the windows on the inside.

December 6^th:          Write Christmas cards

                                   Wrap the gifts to be sent by mail.

-       - - - - - - - - -

December 13^th:        Remember white coat and tinsel for kindergarten > practise song

Bake saffron buns > the day of Saint Lucia

December 15^th:        Birthday party!

December 16^th:        Bake one kind of cookie

... and the list goes on.

The problem with writing lists is that you plan as if everyday life is predictable. I fall into the trap EVERY time.

I never planned of being appointed examiner and external examiner for make-up examination.

I never planned on heavy snowfall and following extensive snow clearing. (This part of the country never plan on snow... it is abnormal to have heavy snowfall here. Not like where I grew up, where it is the rule.

I never planned on serious traffic chaos, causing hours of delay getting anywhere.

I never planned on my son wanting to celebrate his birthday arranging a gaming night and sleep over.

I just ignored the possebility of things happen. All of these nothings which end up being time consuming when added up. Everyday life must go on; I can’t put life on hold just because I want to do something extra.

Today’s state: Advent calendar made,  advent candelabra displayed and two lights lit, windows cleaned, all the lighting planned on hung... Day of Saint Lucia marked...