The teens I surround myself with on a daily basis have this perception we are all equal, no matter age, sex and/or position.
I envy them the ability to make life easy on themselves and the way they take advantage of digital medias to make themselves available and to share their life with their friends. I have no idea how often I make comments like: “Sorry, too much information shared in class”, or “Are you listening to what you say out loud now?”And they have no scruples with making themselves just as comfortable at school as they do at home.
Another fantastic thing about the youth of today, is the knowledge of the art of negotiation. They come across as fully trained diplomats at the age of 15, and their skill to discuss sometimes hits hard. I feel my authority, on regular basis, being battered, and my pride is dented more often than just now and again.
It may not have been considered a form of art in the past, but believe me: It is!
Everything is up for negotiation:
- Go to bed, it is past your bedtime! (And we have a contract set up and signed by both parties on when bedtime is.)
- But I haven’t eaten yet.
- We had supper just an hour ago, surely you are not hungry?
- I am not hungry, I am just not full! If I am not full, I will wake up feeling hungry in the middle of the night, and then I can’t get back to sleep, even if I get up and eat something.
Of course he will get something to eat before going to bed, even if I know it will take forever for him to eat up.
At work I face much the same challenge:
- I am sorry, but you are late for class.
- I refuse to agree that I shall have a black mark for that. I couldn’t find a parking spot.
- You were not here, were you? If you are not in class you are not present, and if you are not on time you are late.
- But I was on time! Didn’t you hear me? I was just outside the classroom honking the horn!
- I heard you, all right. That was you? Thanks a lot!
At this point I know I am getting too close of losing the argument because using irony and sarcasm are never good. Your opponent picks up on it and interpret it as weakness, which is it, and come on even stronger to push you over the edge and agree.
- I was just trying to make you notice me, I was on the school premises and I was making an effort to get a parking spot and get to class!
- Listen, a black mark is not a punishment in itself. It is a sign that what you did is not ok. In this case it is a signal to administration that we don’t have enough parking spots for students’ cars. It will not show on your transcript of grades.
- I know, but it still sucks!
- I totally agree it is a bummer. But I will write you were not on time because you could not find a spot to park your car. It is not untrue, is it?
- No, it is not untrue, it is just unfair.
I could have fallen into the trap and insist on having the last word on that one, but experience told me I would fail if I did so. My thought was: Let him win the battle, at least I won the war… this time.
To get into an argument, or negotiations as I prefer to call them (as they are never ill or bad minded) with youngsters who know how to get their way is always a minefield. If it was a subject at school I suspect they would all get straight A’s. I have a lot to learn from them. Can't wait untill I reach their level.
