having a woman advocate of feminism, as a teacher

Part of the curriculum in Norwegian is to learn about communication.

We use our language in many ways and for different purposes, one of the lessons I talk about is the power of language.

Power of language includes:

Ø  To talk on a level the listener/reader has problems understanding

Ø  Deliberate use of foreign words

Ø  Long and complicated sentences

Ø  technical language when the listener/reader doesn’t understand/has learned it

Ø  threats

Ø  arrogance

Ø  irony

Ø  harassment

Ø  ignore the listener

Ø  body language

Ø  address or attack weak points of the listener/reader

As a whole: make the listener/reader as insecure as possible.

It should be obvious that this really isn’t a kind thing to inflict on another person, but teenagers have their jargon, and more and more often I hear them talk eachother "down", and I know they are thinking they are friendly, when what they really do is to degrade each other.

One of the tasks I use to illustrate the power of language is to make them write a list on synonyms for boy/man and girl/woman.

They are to add all the words they use in everyday speech and words they know from media and literature.

I feel very uncomfortable every time I give this exercise to my students, but I do it anyway, because they learn A LOT from it.

Without exception, they write a lot more words for girl/woman, than they do for boy/man. Boy/man has about equally amount of positive and negative words. The negative words refer to sexual preferences.

Girl/woman is an even sadder matter. There are many more words on the lists; only a few of them are positive. The negative words have, to a large extent, sexual character, and not in a good way.

They try to argue that they don’t mean it degrading, but when we talk about it, they admit they understand what they say, they know the words they use are really suppressive and that words have a meaning they usually understand the extent of.

I just curl up inside in shame after class, when I see the students bring their lists with them for recess. They read it, discuss it and compare. The hall becomes a cacophony of profanity and rudeness.

The good thing about this exercise is I notice there is a change of tone in the classroom afterwards. They think more before they talk to each other and choose better words. We get less swearing too, at least in the classroom.

How they express themselves after school hours I have no hand over, but communication works a lot better at school. Not only in my lessons, but our department as a whole.

So, while the other teachers grin with a smug sneer and shake their heads, I just feel like crumble up, or wish for a big hole to open up underneath me.

BUT, as a teacher I have done worse. I have talked to classes about what socks to wear in safety shoes (you would never believe the stench synthetic socks create) and personal hygiene. Now that is “fun” in a classroom full of teenage boys. Especially when they comment upon what I have said in class, to other teachers.

I comfort myself thinking at least we have cleaner student now, both language and bodies, than most other departments of building- and constructionwork.

I guess that is the drawback of having a woman advocate of feminism, (who wears black leather jacket, jeans and high heels at work) teaching them.

Friday... or Monday too?

Friday. To many this is the day of the week they look forward to. The end of the week is finally here.

Oh, joy!!!!!!!! (Not an ironical “oh, joy” uttered in a deep voice, this is an ecstatic one! Feel free to raise your hands and shout it out.)

Facebook is swarmed with joyous illustrations with cheerful greetings for the weekend ahead.

On Monday, on the other hand, my Facebook has one posting after another, posted by different people or communities, showing and telling what a strain it is that Monday is already here.

My students moan and suffer from a bad mood… and tiredness. As if the mere day itself is a punishment inflicted on them by everybody else, so everybody else should suffer too; like they do. So they express their discontent… loudly.

I really hope that those who post, or express, either are not really serious; I hope they do it because it is a popular opinion to have and express.

I’m thinking that if you only live a good life two days a week, you are in BIG trouble.

I can’t think of anything worse than to wake up in the morning dreading the day ahead. It must feel like physical pain inflicted on you, every single day, all day. I might as well admit I know this very well. My last year on high school was terrible. To me it was so dreadful going to school I often discovered tears running down my cheeks when on the school bus. It is possible to feel so awful you don’t even realize you cry. But I finished. I completed school and then left the country. I just had to heal, and found no other option than to go away. I was supposed to leave for three months… I returned home a year later.

What an irony I ended up spending my working life in a classroom. I still find it hard to understand how I ended up like that.

I know for a fact that many spend their weekends alone, at home, with nothing much else to look forward to than cleaning, grocery shopping and watching TV. And still, they post excited postings praising weekend as the highlight of the week.

I used to know a man (he was our neighbour when I was child) who rode his bicycle to work every morning at 6:30am. He came home late, never mentioned overtime, let alone overtime pay.

In the weekends he fiddled about in his garden while humming out of tune. He was so pleased with his life. Always smiling, always a kind greeting.

He worked at the same factory for 57 years. He cut cupboard-knobs on the lathe, and was proud of his work.

I am not made to lead a monotonous life. I need variety and challenging inputs. If life gets too predictable I turn restless and edgy.

Maybe I am more of a fighter than a tender blossom, but I have problems understanding how people can settle for an everyday life with no challenges; a life offering challenges is one offering situations where you need to go beyond the limits of your comfort zone.

To take a stand on controversial issues, to care for others, to be opinionated, to be creative and find a balance in life where you truly experience satisfaction in both the smaller things in life like a nice sandwich and clean clothes, a good TV-show or whether to wear a red or blue t-shirt (I know there are people out there who revolve their entire life around what to wear, bless them, but that is not very important to me, so I list it as a trifle detail here) or the big ones like where to live, to settle down with a life partner or in any other way take on commitment. You know: to take part in your environment on your own terms and abilities.

Some people ask me why I stress my kids and my students should do well in school.

To me that is very simple:

I look upon school attendance as an investment in your own future. I find it very important to prepare for a working life of your own choice. Sadly it is hard to get any kind of work with no schooling these days.

It may be engineering, cleaning dishes, teaching or long-haul transportation… the bottom line is you should be free to make a choice of occupation which makes every day of the week a good one. Every day you wake up should be one you look forward to, and then a weekend off to recover from the bustle (a nice bustle is wearing too) you go through all week.

I wish for everybody to wake up Monday morning thinking: “YES! I’m ready. Bring on the week. This is a new start. Finally Monday is here!” And then you post a cheerful greeting on Friday saying how great it is that it’s Friday today… and on Monday you post a happy greeting telling how grand it is that it’s Monday.

OK, I might be a bit overly eager here, but wouldn’t it be great if we all could have 7 wonderful days a week?

No, I am not talking about a life without ups and downs: I’m talking about the consistent feeling of leading a life to satisfaction.

Back to school

Last Monday my youngest son, age 6, started school. He has been ready for that for so long, and the anticipation was sky high! I loved to see how much he was looking forward to be a schoolboy, and when we finally bought his satchel, it was a moment of serious consideration and delight. It was so obvious it was important to him. 
My only worry is that I and his teachers will fail at keeping this excitement alive, other than that I am happy to see my baby-boy enter a new chapter in life.

A new school year is coming up. We, the teachers, started this week having planning days; preparing to welcome and how to teach the students.

When you’re a teacher you are never completely grown up; you still dread for school to start after the summer. Fall is not about struggling through autumn gale when out for a walk, or sitting inside enjoying the rain tapping on the windows. Fall is new books, new students, a new start.

It’s not only the students who enter the classroom meeting new peers and teachers; we, the teachers, enter the classroom facing new classes. Since this is a vocational training school, there are only 15 students in each class, but these fifteen students are individuals, each with their own background we have to take into consideration, we have to learn a lot of new names and learn how to meet their personalities and planning the lessons right in order to keep up progress of learning, for each and every one of them.

I love it! But even though I have been a teacher for quite some time I face the beginning of each year with excitement and nervousness. Just like the students do.

One of most important preparation routine for a new school year is to go shopping for rubber-soled shoes… with high heels. They are not easy to find, but to me that is important. Thinking about how much I dislike shopping, I am surprised how patient I am when choosing shoes for work. It is an important choise, though. I have to like how they look, they must be comfortable and they should not make any clicking sounds when I walk through the corridors. (I have had students complaining about me walking around the classroom, because all they could think about was the sound my shoes made....)
I like wearing heels. I am 5”3’, which is not very tall, but with heels I can imagine I am taller. It makes wonders for my self-esteem, cause I always find myself being the shortest person in the classroom. Maybe it’s just the impact of a better posture asserting itself (stooping is more or less impossible when wearing high heels; straight back and chin held high comes naturally), to look confident makes a lot of difference, it’s like the feeling itself sneaks into your consciousness and makes itself known in your appearance. For my part that is important for executing good classroom management. (I just made myself come across as a very strict teacher... I'm not. I don't say like many, with a wry smile, do: "Never smile to the students before Christmas". I actually have problems being angry, and when I do get mad it never lasts for long. I still keep my students focused, though... touch wood.)

The excitement of being back is not just related to the students and the subjects I teach. I really enjoy the teachers’ lounge, the fellowship between the teachers on a place safe from the “enemy”. Students are demanding, just the way they should be, but in the teachers’ lounge we relax, exchange stories, experiences and methods. Sometimes a student has made a great comment… maybe it’s not a good idea to reveal the secrets of that part of work…

We discuss common rules and regulations for the classroom, the students and us, the teachers. We demand nothing less from each other than we do of the students, which makes us able to face the students standing firm and with no doubt our colleagues back us up. The sense of loyalty is reassuring and comforting.

All together the entire package embrace the hope I have for my own son: That each student will experience how much fun it is to discover progress in knowledge and personal abilities, both in subjects and as an individual.

Thoughts on work.

I am a strange person; I know this, and I have come to terms with this fact. Not strange in the sense  that people give me negative attention for my behaviour or look (although I do admit I feel comfortable even when I don`t dress up to date, and I do wear a lot more colours than what fashionistas would find appropriate. In addition I have a way of sometimes telling the truth, as I see it, even when a white lie should have been preferred and that might not be the most discrete thing to do, always...) but I think there must be something odd about how my thoughts fly, and what they find amusing pondering about.

Lately I have been wondering about work, and environment.

My grandfather used to say that when there is no more farmers, fishermen and hunters all the rich people with important, well-paid jobs, will starve because their millions can`t fill their starving stomachs.

Just recently I saw on facebook that an old Native American said the same thing!?! It must mean my grandfather was a wise man. (At least he was not the only man profoundly and deeply rooted in past knowledge to keep that thought in mind.)

It is just another one of those obvious truths you always knew, but needed someone to say out loud to really reflect upon. And then you acknowledge it IS a MATTER OF FACT... Even though it WAS always COMMON SENSE

Funny that, how basic living qualifications needs to be confirmed to be considered smart or true... or even legitimate.

Well, I grew up on a farm, in addition I know that in both chess and real life, pawns are not really considered to be important, but the way I play they are the most important ones. I am that kind of down to earth girl. That doesn`t mean I don`t have respect for a lot of other jobs, I even find a lot of them very essential, but I have to say it never cease to amaze me how and what some people do to make a living.

A few years ago a big corporation went into fusion with another corporation. Part of the deal was that the name of this huge corporation should contain both names. There were a few other conditions as well, but this was the big, new thing about this deal. Well; they spent millions and millions on changing this household name, brand and logo all over the world. When the deal had been on for like 6 months, they changed it back, spending even more money.

Now, it is kind to keep signmakers, printers, marketing consultants, graphic designers and other involved groups of professionals occupied. But I bet they kept more than one person busy, for over a year, thinking this strategy out. And I bet the soles of my shoes they were far from cheap.

When I was a kid, and we were talking about a small, isolated place with no apparent workplaces, my dad used to say: “They probably just cut each other’s hair”. Well, to be a hairdresser or a barber is a good job, and we need them, but we can’t all hang around waiting for hair to grow. Nothing much productive really happens then.

 

Whenever I come to a staffed restroom I just grin. I love it, when I know it will be clean, tidy, supplies will be at hand and there is a “Timmy Grasshopper” making sure everybody wash their hands. Going out, an inviting restroom is one of the signs I look for to identify true quality.

When travelling I have a few checkpoints which I go through to find out if the room and other facilities are clean. I really like it to be clean. Not only for the sake of cleanliness itself, but when everything is clean you know the people who own and run the place care.

Cleaning, as well as renovation, are really important jobs. I remember what Naples was like a couple of years ago. I have to admit I don’t know the situation there now, though. But it was bad!

I am very confused to why clubs and restaurants find it more important to employ hung-over kids to push unwelcome leaflets in bypassers’ hands instead of hiring them to keep their facilities clean. I never pick up on those offers. They come across as desperate attempts to keep a place open rather than anything else.

Another thing I don`t really understand is how some people can make a comfortable living giving speeches and lectures. I have to say a lot of them have never been even close to the topic they talk about and give their point of view on issues they know from books and strange research questionaires. When listening to them I always wonder if they are aware of their own distance to their topic. There are really good ones, but there are even more really bad ones.

In example: I have been to numerous lectures, conferences and seminars with no agenda other than telling the audience something we all know very well. I spent 4 hours listening to a woman who told us (us being 170 very good teachers) that in order to teach you must ask the students questions.

She forgot to tell us the most important thing about asking questions (i.e. how to ask them), but we have to always ask the students questions. I am embarrassed to say that I have not heard anything positive about this lecture. She was showing, and referring, to a powerpoint with too small print for us to read, she constantly stood with her back turned at us; talking to the screen, and when she asked us a question she answered it herself... Within a few seconds. That was the best part about her lecture: Showing us how not to teach! And to be honest, it is a good thing to be reminded of. But that was not the intention, nor was it the lecture the school had ordered.

I have also been to lectures, held by a very profiled person, who spent 6 hours telling us what a great guy he was. We fall for their (in their own circle or field of knowledge) famous names and book them, even pay them, to tell us nothing. Actually; to make us spend money doing that is quite an achievement. I should learn something from that.

On the other hand: some of the best lectures I have attended has been about truths I know very well, but needed to be reminded of, or I needed someone better than me to put the truths into well spoken words which makes people want to listen and take part.

Firefly inventors, as I call them, are really interesting. (Of course they don`t invent fireflies, but the things they do invent hardly ever last for more than (at best) a day.) They invent totally useless items, with no quality, or durability. The things they invent are just super cool!!! Until they break 3 hours later, just in time to be broken before we lose interest. And then we fall for their next invention, with even less durability, and we know about this, but it costs next to nothing, and it is tiresome to listen to kids nagging for hours because they want this bright yellow, green, blue, red, orange and/or purple supercool must-have-now thing. i.e. useless-kitchen-gadgets

Cereal boxes and cartoon magazines are full of toys like this, which have made someone rich. And those are only two examples to where we find them. They are everywhere! And we buy them… lots of them.

 

Every year, when a new schoolyear starts I give my new students a welcome speech. One of the things I tell them is: Every idiot can break a window. That is not something to be proud of, because anyone can do that. You will learn how to fix that window, not many can do that, and that is something to be proud of. In a few years you can drive through this region and point out to your child "Those houses over there are homes for families. I was part of building those homes".

We keep hearing about how we pollute the world doing everyday things. I think that if we stopped wasting time talking rubbish, and stopped wasting energy on buying rubbish (both would save us from a lot of annoyance and harsh thoughts and words), we would save both time and environment (not to mention all the money and paper). To me it strikes me as strange that work we do to support human's basic needs are so looked down on, while shuffling numbers and papers around are considered so much more valuable.

 

Tired

 

Today I just felt like staying in bed, which is rather unusual for me. Usually I am the last to go to sleep and the first one up.

I love those crisp early hours when everything is quiet and the world is still lulled in the warm comfort of blankets. In summer I take my coffee outside and sit on my outdoor steps listening to the birds greeting the new day welcome.

If it’s raining I draw a bit back to avoid getting wet and enjoy the sound of drops hitting the roof above and the ground. Something soothing about rain, I always calm down when it’s raining. Whether I sit on my outdoor steps, indoors listening to the rain ticking on my windows, or if I just challenge my dislike to rainwear and plunge into the force of the element: rain is a good remedy for a strained mind.

Growing up where I did, I learned at a very young age to embrace the elements rather than fight them. So, I do.

But today it wasn’t raining. Today the sun was up at the crack of dawn, reminding me summer is just around the corner. Usually I get a feeling of anticipation when this notion hits me, but today… I just felt an avalanche of doings not yet done hit me.

It is like being overwhelmed by an insurmountable race against time. So much to do and so little time… It is like I don’t even want to try.

Tempted as I am to give up before I even try, I went to work feeling exhausted. I am crazy tired, but I keep on going; like the energizer bunny till it runs out of juice! Determined to at least show up and prove to myself I can cope. At least on a negligible level. I think I just need a little down time, but I can’t for the life of me figure out when that down time should take place.

When summer is here and the vacation starts it doesn’t matter what I did or didn’t get done: it will be too late. Then I clear my desk, go home and open every door in my house letting the wind blow through my house and sweep it clean. My head resets and I charge the batteries. By the time summer is over I look forward to meeting my new students: A new school year, new challenges and possibilities.

Strange that is, really, when I know that in a year from now I will feel exactly the same way I do today.

HE WORKS, SHE WORKS - BUT WHAT DIFFERENT IMPRESSIONS THEY MAKE

Some time ago, when I was sorting old paperwork which had been piling up for quite some time (I suspect we are talking years and years here), I found this list of different impressions men and women give when doing their job. It was a list to demonstrate to us (I was a student at the time we got it) how everything can be said, but the impression is tinted by what words you choose to use.

Having a few years of work experience, I find it more amusing now than I did then, maybe you recognize one or two... or more? So... here it goes:

Have you ever found yourself up against the old double-standard at work? Then you know how annoying it can be and how lonely you can feel. Supervisors and co-workers still judge us by old stereotypes that say women are emotional, disorganized and inefficient. Here are some of the most glaring examples of the typical office double-standard.

The family picture is on HIS desk: Ah, a solid responsible family man.

The family picture is on HER desk: Hm, her family will come before her career.

HIS desk is cluttered: He’s obviously a hard worker and busy man.

HER desk is cluttered: She’s obviously a disorganized scatterbrain.

HE’s talking with co-workers: He must be discussing the latest deal.

SHE’s talking with co-workers: She must be gossiping.

HE’s not at his desk: He must be at a meeting.

SHE’s not at her desk: She must be in the ladies’ room.

HE’s having lunch with the boss: He’s on his way up.

SHE’s having lunch with the boss: They must be having an affair.

HE’s getting married: He’ll get more settled

SHE’s getting married: She’ll get pregnant and leave.

HE’s having a baby: He’ll need a raise.

SHE’s having a baby: She’ll cost the company money in maternity benefits.

HE’s leaving for a better job: He recognizes a good opportunity.

SHE’s leaving for a better job: Women are undependable.

HE’s Aggressive.

SHE’s pushy.

HE’s careful.

SHE’s picky.

HE loses his temper.

SHE’s bitchy.

HE’s depressed.

SHE’s moody.

HE follows through.

SHE doesn’t know when to quit.

HE’s firm

SHE’s stubborn.

HE makes wise judgements.

SHE reveals her prejudices.

HE is a man of the world.

SHE’s been around.

HE isn’t afraid to say what he thinks.

SHE’s opinionated.

HE exercises authority.

SHE’s tyrannical.

HE’s discreet.

SHE’s secretive.

HE’s a stern taskmaster.

SHE’s difficult to work for.