Weird things Norwegians do

I just couldn't help copying this and post it. There is a lot of truths about Norwegians to learn here.
afroginthefjord: weird things Norwegians do

Disclaimer: “Weird” does not mean “negative”, some of these strange things are very positive and should be exported to the rest of the world :-)

1. You are telling a great story to your Norwegian friend/colleague. He or she will start making strange sounds: aspirations with the mouth as if they have the beginning of asthma. No panick, this just illustrate how interested they are in your story, and it means “yes, I agree, carry on with your story”. Nothing to be disturbed about.

2. As soon as Autumn comes, Norwegians enter some kind of telys hysteria, lighting them everywhere at any occasion. It is what I call the “endless need for koselig”, which I define as an inner summer that Norwegians create for themselves to feel like it’s warm all year long no matter the circumstances. (see How to make things Koselig)

3. Most Norwegians won’t mind spending 2 minutes sending an sms to bid for an apartment 300.000 NOK over the tagged price, but they will drive several hundred kilometers in a day to Sweden in order to buy a bottle of wine 50 NOK cheaper than what it would have costed in their own country.

4. Some people, especially from Trøndelag in my experience, will show massive enthusiasm and excitement by a simple “Det var bra”. That means anything you did, said or cooked was outstanding. True friendship and compassion can be shown by a single tap on the back. Love could be the lift of an eyebrow. Or the quiver of their trønderbart. Lift of an eyebrow + moving moustache + smile = I love you will you marry me.

5. Norwegians have great fish, potatoes, moose and reindeer meat as well as berries and many other fresh Products from the mountains and the sea. However, on a Friday evening, the big night for eating something special with friends and family, they will prefer eating beans and corn from a can and minced meat; calling it Tacos.

6. Despite mostly speaking perfect English, most Norwegians have not understood that the question “How are you?” is simply a polite form of “hello”. After being asked “how are you?”, some Norwegians might actually start telling you how they really feel. That his wife left him and his dog just died.

7. Norwegians can complain about a lot of things in their country: bad roads, lack of cantines in Norwegian schools, the quality of the salmon industry in Norway, the oil money not being spent adequately and so have you. If you, as a foreigner, raise a single criticism against Norway, they will be shocked that you dare say their salmon is bad or their roads could be better. Wait a second, isn’t that what you just did? I was just agreeing with you!

8. Most Norwegians, including many doctors, generally believe that 90% of diseases can be cured with one or a combination of these three elements: physical exercise, Tran, and ibux/paracet.

9. Memory is something tricky. In Norway there are rules about what is allowed to publicly remember: anything that happens between colleagues during julebordet, afterski party or seminars while we were all drunk is something everyone remembers but everyone pretends never happened.

10. Unlike in the rest of the world, Norwegians will leave you the keys to a remote little wooden hut and expect you to be honest, write down your name to receive the bill for the nights you stayed there and clean behind you for the next people coming. This is, I believe, the most marvellous strange thing Norwegians do and that I would like to create a movement called “honesty” that I will export to the entire world.

11. Someone you know just ignored you in the bus? Totally normal, this person is pretending they haven’t seen you/haven’t recognised you in order to avoid having to live through the awkwardness of talking to you for 3 minutes. Last night I saw someone I had met once and thought “No, I am a foreigner, only a Norwegian would ignore this guy”. Then followed 4 minutes of horrible awkward conversation which I just about survived with dignity, thinking next time I’ll look at my shoes and do like the rest of them.

12. It is called “Irish goodbye” but it could be renamed “Norwegian goodbye”. You are part of a group sitting in a pub, in a living room on any other social place having a good time. Suddenly someone disappears without saying goodbye and you might assume they went to the toilet/have a smoke. No they went home or to bed without saying goodbye. The question: were we THAT boring??

13. The black thing going down that man’s teeth is not a gum-disease, it is løssnus. Instead of smoking, Norwegians and Swedes use this pocket of tobacco they put under their upperlip, which also makes an unusual bump on one side of their mouth. Try kissing a man with løssnus! By the way I am not saying cigarette is better. Still gross but less weird because a bit more common in the non Scandinavian world.

14. What is the budget per family on sports equipment and clothing for every year? It seems to me anyone here starting from 6 years old has all the necessary equipment to go hiking in the mountain (gear for winter + summer), cycling, swimming, slalom skiing, langrenn skiing, running and sometimes klatring and other hobbies. Despite this stuff being very expensive some renew it every second year or every year. At that price no wonder some of these guys put on their full kondomdrakt to go pick up havregryn from the store.

15. When planning to have a baby, Norwegians will not look at astrology like Chinese or Indians. They will try to make sure their baby is born before September 1st in order to get a secured spot in a kindergarten for their baby. My colleague even did some acupuncture in order to deliver her baby just before the due date for this matter.

The interesting thing here is that after a few years in Norway, the things that seemed strange at first become completely normal. I actually told my mum, who lives in South of France and who was worried for me as winter is coming in Norway, that there is no dårlig været, bare dårlig klær. And the first thing I do when arriving somewhere outside of Scandinavia is to worry about finding knekkebrød in the stores. Who knows, in a few years I might even start growing a moustache and move to Trøndelag. Everything is possible is our strange world!

This text was published in Norwegian in today’s VG (Verdens Gang, a Norwegian tabloid newspaper): Kronikk: Nordmenns mange rariteter

And then:

This Is Norway | Highly Entertaining Video About Norway and Norwegians.

By: UnofficialNetworks January 28, 2014 7:38 am

What I think it's like to be a teacher.

Not me wearing it on the picture, but yes;
this is my brown leather jacket.

I guess my personality is not the prototype which first comes to mind when people think about "the teacher". I wear my black leather jacket almost every day, unless it's too cold: On cold days I wear my brown... and always heals. I am in the progress of getting my driver's lisence for heavy motorbike, and some of my jeans have holes in them.

I am so distracted that I understand how i some times cause confusion, but I admit my "out-of-the-ordinaries" and mistakes; I am not afraid to say "I'm sorry". In addition I am not good at being strict or angry. I laugh too much, sing off key and am lazy.
I know the list of my shortcomings must be a lot longer, but these were the ones which came to mind as I sit here writing.

However: as a teacher the story is a completely different one. In my private life I may be one step behind; as a teacher I know I am one step ahead. I have to be. Otherwise you do not last long in the classroom. Or, I guess you can, but I always thought that if you wake up in the morning and dread the day ahead of you, every morning, you really need to make some changes.
I used to master an academic language, but when I teach I start the school-year by avoiding 4-syllable words, and even though I once learned them, most of my professional language is out the window.

While writing this, my mind started disputing the ongoing thoughts I have about me staying in the classroom. I completed an MBA almost three years ago. I should have made a greater effort to put my education and qualifications to use. The thing is, though; it is so hard to build my confidence in what I can actually do. Or rather: How to get across to companies and boards that I may not have a title to support my experience in leadership, but I execute advanced leadership fairly ok every day, regardless my title not really implyin I do.

Funny thing, though; I have former students who settle down, get a family and buy homes in my neighborhood. With no exception they always get surprised finding out I am not a teacher 24/7. They comment upon how different I am in private.

As teachers we have a robot-side of our personalities. The rules, the demands and the restrictions we impose on our students may some times come across as unfair or just silly. However, we never have rules with no purpose. There is always a reason to why.
I strongly believe that to introduce restrictions you have no intention of following through do more damage than good. There are plenty of other issues to pay attention to.

In class I am in control, at home I have kids and a dog with lots of energy, and they only behave and follow my instructions when they want to. Now, I have to admit they most often make me very proud by wanting to, I have to give them that. But that might be because I don't tell them to do much.
Another thing is that we all have our talents. If you ignore your talent and make a living doing something you are not good at, that can't be even the slightest fullfilling. Doing that must feel like living in a vast void of losing yourself slowly and steadily.

A lot of the teenagers who come to us have never followed any borders or restrictions. They get away with doing their own thing whenever they want to. Gaming through the night is something we constantly have conversations with parents about. They often look at us with a startled face when we suggest they cut internet at a set hour. It's like as if the thought never crossed their mind, or they find it unthinkable because it will cause turmoil. Of course a 16-year old will have a tantrum if he/she is used to be online at all times, but that is part of being the adult in a family: to protect their kids from themselves and bad choices and arrange circumstances which help them be the best version of themselves. Our job is to prepare them for a good and healthy working life. Staying awake at daytime is always a good start.

I tell them "no, there is no room for negotiation", or I say "yes, let's do that!"
So many just lower their shoulders and relax when they don't have to spend time wondering what I actually said. And to my surprise they feel relieved when choices and decisions are made for them. Some times they have just been caught in bad habits. Habits they don't really want to keep up, but can't find a way out of. Some times I even explain my "no"s.
When weekends become the ones a week event it's supposed to be, most of us are a lot more content than if we just float on an ongoing stream of being "could have done better".

Everything used to be so much better. The kids are getting worse.
I don't think so. Yes, they are opinionated but they are also a product of society and my generation: the parents. I some times feel it unfair to blame it on the young ones.

Today we force adulthood upon children. How we dress them, what activities they participate in, how we put adulthood into their being by calling development of personality and growing up clinical words which strongly resemble adult activities. It's no secret I oppose strongly to the expression "children's sexuality". Why should getting to know your own body as a child have something to do with sex?
To me sexual activity is something which is only allowed between consenting adults. Our body is the only single thing we can choose who we give it to, and we should allow the next generation to have that privelege too.

It amazes me sometimes how we see the kind, thoughtful, smart person they just can't seem to see themselves. They have already failed too many times. They hide behind acting out, a terrible language and a face showing they don't care. Thing is, though, they do. But we sometimes forget to show and tell them how to do, how to talk to get their message across and how to act so they can be taken seriously.
Ones a young person decided they don't care, and they actually don't care, you will be challenged.
They've had 16 years of rehearsing stubbornness. It's tough on them because so have we.

As an adult and a teacher I have to tell them "stop". Not because of the sake of stopping them, but to help them take time out and think the options through. You always have a choice. The options might not be what you wished for, but the choice is there.

I am extremely patient as a teacher, even more than I am as a mum.
Thinking about it I don't think they will ever come across more patience in their entire lives. We all are, at least my coworkers on my team. To be this patient is very time consuming, but at the end of the day very rewarding. Some times I am very proud of my coworkers just because of that. Thinking about it I am always proud of them: they do a great job.

And then we have a curriculum to teach.

Mr Drews School For Boys

This is just brilliant and very close to something I have been thinking about for quite some time. 

When someone gets sick, like really, really sick.

When someone gets sick, like really, really sick, they most often get a lot of attention.
The diagnosis is percieved as... well, kind of exotic. Even more so if the diagnosis is hard to figure out and takes time to assess. Exotic might be the wrong word, but it seems like as if people finds it entertaining to get involved in the midst of the drama, the instant or enduring worrying, the insecurity of what will happen next, the finding out how the sickness will play out in everyday life, the news, being the one who knows how current and updated status is.
All of this draws attention to the patient and his/her closest circle.

Then, when they are finally getting used to cope with the phonecalls, the visits and the requests about how things are going, it slows down. fast and inevitable.

When the seriousness catches up with you. The limitations and restrictions becomes an obstacle to leading a normal everyday life.
The stories and explanations becomes the normal tale, and so the novelty is lost and the interest fades.
One by one the friends you have get in touch less frequent; the phonecalls gradually comes to an halt.
They don't stop being friends, they just have other things to attend to as well.

Those who are left are those who are loyal, either because of unconditional love, dependence of some sort, or sense of duty.

It sounds harsh, doesn't it? But as judgemental as it may sound it is normal; the way it should be. We all have a life and a lifestyle which goes on, and noone expects everybody we know to introduce long term state of emergency. It doesn't mean we care less: It means life goes on as usual for everyone except those struck by changes forced upon them.

I don't remember the change itself, but I still feel the riot I felt inside when people stopped me to ask how my parents were doing, as if I was excluded. I still remember stressed out teachers who normally were so impatient, but when one of my parents were in hospital they showed me the kind of compassion you have for a complete stranger who's in a difficult situation.
When my homework wasn't done because there were things which had to be attended to, I never explained or argued, it was hard enough to try to keep up. They must have known though. I could tell by the looks, the indulgence... but never words.

It was not spoken about, not to me anyway, even though I heard from other kids it was speculated upon, talked about and even ironized. You know... "I heard he's in hospital again, it can't be asthma. I heard from a nurse he's got ecchymosis, just like the ones those with AIDS got". That one was from 1986. We never told anyone about the ecchymosis, so we knew it was true a nurse must have told.
Trust is a very powerful word to me. I don't use it much.

There was one truth said, though. It never was asthma, it was 30 years of something else: chronic pneumonia. 9 years ago ones again they told us he would die within days, if not hours. We sent him by plane to a different hospital; three weeks later he was cured. Now he suffers from the effects the years of heavy medication inflicted upon him.
I don't remember my father when he was well, but I know he was a strong man to survive.

The happiest times in his life were the times he was the perfect tutor, father and entertainer. He would tell me how to do something and watch me as I did it, while he told tales and histories from times past. My father could answer any question.

It's hard to be the one who doesn't fit in. It's hard to excuse everything using the same phrase. You can see how empathy fades in the other person's eyes and impatience slowly gaining it's rightful position.

It's not easy to be the one left behind and you see people you counted upon leave, as you turn and walk back into the ward.
It is how it should be, there is nothing wrong with it, because life goes on and waits for noone.
Still...

Yesterday, October 10, was World Mental Health Day. This month, October, focus is on cancer, and breast cancer in particular. This is the month to go pink.

When someone gets sick, like really, really sick they most often get a lot of attention. You don't have to be part of that instant circus to be a very good friend.

a) Remember to invite them and let them know they are thought of. It is great comfort in knowing you are not forgotten.
b) Always greet someone saying "How are YOU?" Then you can ask about others.
c) Offer to help or talk. If you feel unable to, find out where they can turn to get support or help.

If you want a few more professional and thought through tips, you'll find them here.

Wholesome meals.

I am very easilly distracted. It is a fact, and nothing worth discussing: I would lose that exchange of views; Big time! And being distracted is by many considered to be a flaw in one's personality.
I can't really help it, it's just how I am. Then again I haven't done a lot to establish habits or systems to make short shrift with the confusion it sometimes causes. It is confusing though, both to me and others, so I agree it's not a good thing about me. Come to think of it, I have many flaws and errors which affect others I surround myself with; Qualities which make me comfortably imperfect. Comfortable because being imperfect lowers everybody's expectations to me. It gives me the freedom to break out and behave out of standard. You know: dancing in the rain or serve waffles for dinner.

Which one of my imperfections and flaws is the biggest, varies by time and fashion. In example: Most of us act, and live, far from the norm of courtesy you would find in the 1940s. Not that I keep up to that standard, but a couple of people do... I have my values and standards on what is acceptable, and what isn't. I like to think I don't hold prejudices, but of course, like everybody else, I do. I know this, I'm just not very happy about it. So, I am distracted, I have prejudices, I am very shy and therefore perceived as arrogant... the list goes on and on. And yet, right now I think my biggest sin, in the eyes of society in general, is my body.
At least that's the impression I get, judging by the comments so-called friends and acquaintances have the nerve to say out loud to me and about me. A lot of it is ever so rude and quite hurtful at times, and yet those remarks, and their alike, have become socially acceptable. Not only that: they have become normal.

I'm not really fat... I can still tie my own shoelaces, but my belly has through the years become.... hmmmm.... spongy (I did not want to say "like jeasted dough, well risen" because that would have put you off rolls, baguettes and white bread for weeks!).
But unless you get some surgery of a kind done, that is the punishment you are given when you participate in life. At least that is how I comfort myself.

I recently went to the doctor to get my annual cancer tests done. People: it's October and the month to give some consern to the cause: Remember to check yourself for breast cancer (yes, men too!) and go

give the blood needed to get your healthy self confirmed!

(The American Cancer Society’s most recent estimates for male breast cancer in the United States are for 2010:

About 1,970 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed among menAbout 390 men will die from breast cancer

Breast cancer is about 100 times less common among men than among women. For men, the lifetime risk of getting breast cancer is about 1 in 1,000. The number of breast cancer cases in men relative to the population has been fairly stable over the last 30 years.)

Since I was already exposed and feeling very small, I asked the female doctor if I by any chance could go on a diet or do any kind of work-out to get rid of my shame, aka: the appearance of my belly. She looked at me in the eyes and shook her head: "Nope, but I can arrange for excess skin to be removed and the appearance of your muscles more defined".
Her reply made me determined to prove her wrong. I can live a normal life, with variety as the core spice in every aspect of my being, and feel good about it. Without having the beautifying surgery done. So what if the trousers are unable to give me the lift-tighten-slim look no matter how I wiggle to put them on. I still get a muffin-top.

The medias have made it into something we should focus on and adopt as an obsession, and we read about it everywhere: in the newspapers, online, numrous books and magazines: The right diet and food can make us healthy, slim, strong, sexy, beautiful and adorable. No wonder we get so focused on diets: who wouldn't want to hit the jackpot and be all of above? These days to stay away from gluten is the new right thing to do. "No gluten" is the new "low carb" (unless the preferred diet changed during the last two hours).

Low carb was in 2011 the most popular word in Norway, and the most frequently googled word the same year. I can only imagine what "no gluten" will be like.
We switch to the better and more efficient diet with ease, and start eating the diet for yet another sickness. Not that many actually have lactose intolerance, but we stick with the diet to become a better person. Only 1% have intolerance for gluten.

There is an increasing pressure to take responsibility for our body and health. And especially women with higher education are very preoccupied with what not to eat. The no-list of food and ingredients gets longer day by day.  It's like as if it turns into an unhealthy obsession. The enthusiasm for changing the current diet is increasing, it's like taking over the search for meaning of life.

As human beings we are so predictable. We still most often think that going out includes a meal, and we choose restaurants by their rumour and the reviews. And then, after having chosen where to eat, dressed up and arranged for babysitter, we go to fancy restaurants only to move food around the plate.  We end up never eating the carefully cooked and presented dishes. What we ordered may be fashionable in the food world, but it is not by any means compatible to the diet world.
I used to love long and lazy meals with something nice in the glasses. I used to cook and find joy in flavours and good ingredients.
Not so much anymore. Many don't compliment the chef anymore, instead we hear about how many calories can be found in the meat, the bread, the sauce...; nothing kills conversation about life's peculiarities more efficiently than that.

I always took into considerations different lifestyles and allergies. Allergies of fish and eggs, even gluten, vegetarian and vegans alike.
One time my son was celebrating his birthday party and we served the traditional rice porridge. At Christmas a almond is placed in the pot of rice porridge and who ever finds it in their bowl wins a prize-usually a marzipan pig. And the lucky person who won the pig might say, to express his satisfaction, that he was in the middle of a butter island. That is to say in the middle of the hot porridge's melting butter.

I knew one of the kids came from a vegan family, so I asked his mother if she had any experience in cooking the porridge using rice milk. She told me not to make too much of it. He had never participated in the almond in the rice porridge ceremony, so it was ok. He could bring food from home. I found that very touching that she didn't want me to be bothered with their alternative lifestyle, but it also made me even more determined he should not only participate: he should also find the almond.
I asked what I could give him as a winning prize.

I made porridge the traditional way for the party, and with rice milk for him. I explained to the 23 boys that part of the game was to trick eachother by rolling their tongue in their mouth as if they had found the almond... but never reveal it untill all the plates were empty. They ate so much porridge.
The boy had such a sneaky smile on his face it was priceless. I watched him, and he played the game with glory. He found one of the 6 almonds hidden.

When I gave him the chocolate bar his parents had agreed upon, he ran over to his father and asked if he was allowed to eat it... and he cried when his dad said yes.

There is a doctor in the USA who came up with the expression orthorexia.
It worries me that food has become something we use as a sign of personal excellence. A healthy, slim and well toned body gives you status and sends signals of self control, and the diets makes the strive easier and more concrete.
It IS a good thing to eat healthy and to be active, but I believe food gets a lot of unhealthy attention. More and more doctors and dieticians are getting really worried about the psychological and social consequenses people's attitude towards food may cause.

Some say we overfeed but malnourish ourselves. Some say we underfeed and overnourish ourselves. I just want meals to stay the highlights of a day, when we gather around the table and have those good, soulful and silly conversations.

When we face eachother and grant our senses the pleasures of smells, textures, tastes and colours, while we laugh, get serious, turn sad and silly and feel like a wholesome family of friends.
To dare to let go of time and the daily rat race. To use the senses we received as gifts when we were brought into this world, disregard the rules of a perfect appearance and just enjoy...
That is to live life to the fullest.




Who are more likely to see behind the "flaws" we might have? Men.... or women?

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Old tricks are still fascinating. This is Kenneth Heard's http://lovelifeapba.blogspot.no/