bygones and new beginnings

A couple of days ago someone posted this on his site:

“After 3 agonising years im finally goin to be reunited with my youngest boy after the ex came to her senses. Hes 7 now and im kinda scared but excited beyond belief. I guess after being abused by her husband for so long im not so bad afterall. Im really starting to think karma is a vengeful bitch that likes me for sum reason”.

I couldn’t let that be left undisputed. I really enjoy this guy’s being, mostly because there is something honest and logical in his predictable, yet utter, delightful madness. The kind you only find in creative men not afraid to display emotions, or speak of strong tangible impacts made on them… as long as what they say got a serious overdose of testosterone. I love that. I also see through it, when it’s not sincere.

I never comment on his postings. I think I would stand out in his crowd of 2224 friends, being too quirky, proper and reflected (or not impulsive enough, if you prefere) and different. But I sent a message saying:

“I have to say that at the end of the day, you may have a lot to say about the previous women in your life (well, they will always be in your life, though, because they mothered your children) you chose women who gave you very beautiful offspring”.

And the reply was short, yet told of a degree of appreciation to my opinion said in too many Words.

“Thank you ... wat a nice thing to say”

I decided quite some time ago not to hold grudges, life is too short for me to focus on petty things like that. I try to remember the whys and hows and the becauses. Sometimes you need to be mature enough to settle the score by expressing your willingness to declare matters for bygones be bygones. That’s it and that’s that.

You think it was a nice thing to say? Maybe, I meant it anyhow. The thing is: when everything is said and done, and you decide the last verbal lash has been thrown; every child deserves to know that at some point he/she was wanted, and that in the future there will be love and support, no matter what.

There isn’t much I appreciate more than when partners who split up eventually come to the point when they put dissensions aside and focus on making life easier on their children. I see kids who are torn every day, and it really isn’t pleasant. It is actually very hard.

I’m not only nice, you see. I also believe in spending time together with children, to talk polite when argue… especially when emotions rumble (and that really ticks most people off) and to ignore the flaws of others (I got too many myself to bother knowing them all).

An artist in Norway, Ole Paus, put it like this: “I am so brimful of errors that it's a shame. The Lord will have plenty more on his scribbling pad by the time I pass on. But he is probably more generous than his reputation suggests."

I think a lot of us should be grateful for that. More of us should probably pursue that kind of generosity. We would make life so much easier on ourselves and those we keep in our circle.