9 Phrases Women Use

(1) Fine :

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes:

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. ...

(3) Nothing :

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead:

This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh:

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay:

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks:

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever'.

(8) Whatever:

Is a woman's way of saying GET LOST!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it:

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

This is (supposedly) the original.

Why Music?

credits unknown, but I just liked it.

Losers lose

It is so darned easy to be fooled by salesmen. I thought it was time to start working out… you know? Christmas is just around the corner and I really want to fit into the gorgeous dress I just bought. Of course I refused the size just right, so it is a tiny bit too tight, but I have been watching “Biggest loser” on TV, and I know the normal weight loss each week ranges from 4 to 12  pounds, so it shouldn’t be a problem. I just need to exercise a little.

I dressed up in my newly bought super training gear, curled up in the sofa and waited for the sweating, puffing and red face to set in. I know those are sure signs you burn calories. The trainers always yell it out: “You don’t even breath heavily yet! You don’t even sweat”! It is far from the cheapest outfit, and the salesman at the store promised me it was of very good quality and actually top notch.

You can imagine my astonishment when neither my breathing nor my pulse increased. Not even a trifle. He was very clear about it; there was no room for misunderstandings, when he told me that equipment is everything when it comes to working out and training. Using what I bought, I would find the work out work like wonders, dead easy, no sweat.

I admit I got a bit startled at that point, because I know the sweating part is very important, but then I figured that thinking about the competitors in “Biggest loser” they don’t wear any fancy colors or fabric made out of something I can’t even pronounce (much less spell): They wear tight shorts and cotton t-shirts, so of course MY outfit has some function which eliminates the discomfort of damp and wet stains (which is a good thing, cause my sofa would have turned rather ghastly looking when the full effect of my training gear sets in).

And yet, even though my expensive purchase has all of these wonderful qualities, and gives me the opportunity to follow my favorite TV shows while I drink my tea in enjoyable manner, I can’t help but feeling a bit ripped off.

I am seriously thinking about returning it. I have not found out how much I have lost yet, since I got this profound remonstrance to getting on a scale, but I doubt it will be two digits. My dress is still a bit tight, you see… there is a chance it has even shrunk a little while hanging in my wardrobe (warmth and such can do that sometimes to clothes), the zipper doesn’t seem to be working right, either.

My belly is not as flat and defined as I expected it to be after 5 days, and my thighs are not quite fit for skinny jeans either. It is like as if the miracle promised is absent, I don’t feel the change happening. From all the hours I have worn the outfit (and believe me; the colors are really unbecoming and not flattering at all, and the fabric is so clingy it reveals EVERY extra curve on my bulk corpus.

Is it possible I may be bought a ruined outfit?

Stress-less

Last night my son's friend's mother was shocked learning I have not yet started preparing for Christmas. We were talking about this and that, and I happened to mention I have not done a lot to prepare for the holidays… not yet, anyway.

I have put out more candles than I usually have around, I have hung the star in the window, the advent candelabra is on the table and two candles have been lit (four candles and we light one more each of the four last Sundays before Christmas), my kids’ advent calendars are displayed (and almost half emptied), my kids have their miniature Christmas trees in their rooms and I have displayed a carved wooden Nativity scene I once bought in Jerusalem a hot, sunny day in July, years ago.

I have no curtains in my house, so I have not hung seasonal curtains. I have not cleaned the windows. I have done some baking, but those cookies are gone. I have not bought any presents yet, apart for the two I send by mail. I have not even ordered the pictures I am to add to the Christmas cards… which I have not yet made.

Well…. I didn’t get any further on my rambling ons about the few things I actually have gotten round to do, and everything I have not done yet: my friend got into a state of frantic flickering eyes and heavy breathing, bordering to hyperventilation. It was like as if my laid back attitude had an impact on her own doings and the state of her house.

A couple of years ago I suffered from a serious stress attack. It is not recommended: It hurts. Not only did my entire body ache, but I experienced this surreal notion of being benumbed. I have not yet totally recovered; now and again I still get this pricking sensation of shooting pain through the sole of my foot when I take a step.

Anyway; I had to make a choice, and it was an easy one to make: Slow down!

The thing I could ease up on, without feeling I neglected anyone, was the house. I don’t panic anymore, when I look around my house and see things scattered on the floor. I keep it clean, but not always tidy. When people drop by I don’t fold the towels in frantic speed to get them out of the way. I have told myself we all have laundry, and people tell me I am right. When I invite people over, I often do it on weeknights for supper. You need a loaf of bread, butter, bread spread, cold cuts, jam and a cheese. And then milk, coffee and tea to swallow it down with. Keep it simple and don’t always assume people want royal treatment. Friends don’t want to feel guilty for dropping by, or visit; they want to enjoy the company of someone who is comfortable around them.

I don’t curl up inside because there is an unwashed pot in the sink. It’s not going anywhere, I can clean it later. Besides, lighting candles hide a lot of clutter. It just isn’t as obvious anymore, because you focus on the coze, rather than scanning the room for what is out of place.

There is a vast difference between having a spotless house and to neglect the house. At the end of the day I now have a home we live, play and work in, rather than having a house on display.

Friends don’t mind, actually they like it and relax more around me, but most important: I enjoy being with friends more now, than I did before. It makes me a happier, more positive and supporting friend. I even find my friends more supporting too.