My aunts and their sister bewilder me

In my house I have to admit that most of the time you will find chaos. I don’t really understand why, because I know how to keep order, I know how to clean, I know what to do to the laundry, I know all the smart things to do to stay up-to-date on everything which needs to be done in a house. And yet I live in constant fear my aunts will drop by unannounced.

Pretty strange thing to be worried about, you may think. But the result of them coming to my house and witness my muddled home, would be both disturbing and shameful.

I could have written a novel about the relationship my mother has to her sisters. But, in short, it is a relationship based on phone calls every morning; to update what happened yesterday to who and why and when and where and then they exchange an outline on today’s agenda. My parents don’t live close by, but they are informed on what goes on, through my aunts’ detailed reports. The internet, in this case Facebook, has added to this flow of information, so the net is tightening in, so to speak.

It is not like as if they come by my house very often, just every now and again, but for some strange reason the infrequent visits keeps me in a state of nervous alert.

So how come the possibility of them dropping by is so nerve-racking?

Well, both my aunts are experienced housewives. Women who have long life experience in keeping house, and they have done so with excellence, at least apparently, and they know what to look for when they are to disclose evasion. They know how to inspect an area or an item for flaws.

So, while comfortably sitting in the sofa, drinking coffee, chit chatting about nothing and everything, I can literally feel their radar beam aerial scanning the room for information on the state of my house, kids, kitchen countertop, top of baseboards… they know the traps, and how to create my downfall.

Next time my mother calls, usually a couple of hours later, she comments upon everything my aunts have reported/commented upon: Why don’t I water my house plants? Why haven’t I folded all the towels in the tumble dryer? I really should have dusted the lamp shades on my bracket lamps in the hallway… And when she has listed all my shortcomings she sums it up in two sentences: “I raised you better than this.” And “I am so happy they always feel so welcome and relaxed when they come to your place for a visit.”

“I raised you better than this”? No, she didn’t. I remember what our house looked like when I was a kid. And believe me: It was never impeccable! No matter how bad she would like to seem like the perfect housewife; she wasn’t. Being a mum with four kids, living on a farm and working full time as a nursing aid could possibly have something to do with it…

“I am so happy they always feel so welcome and relaxed when they come to your place for a visit”? Yeah, I only wish the feeling was mutual, because they all make me feel like living on an edge. On one side I get utter denunciation, on the other side I get the thumbs up.

I am 40+ years old. I am not sure I am old enough, let alone ready, to handle either. They tear me down and stamp on my self-esteem, then they raise me up and give me compliments, with residual flavor, leaving me like a question mark: What did just happen?