The mistake of having a bad look.

For so many years now I have been lost in the magnitude of everything life has thrown my way. I do not think this is something I alone experience; I think we all, to some extent (some more than others, I am sure) find ourselves in that situation.

One day after another just slides into an indefinite time of same old, and we need to think hard to find those little things we find special enough to smile at.

In this process we tend to let ourselves down. The moments of pampering ourselves to charge the batteries and to feel good about ourselves tend to lose priority, as we, in the middle of running race with time, seem to think “I can do it later, it is not as if I will misplace myself. I will be here to be attended to later, but THIS is something I have to do now”.

When we are down and tired it takes more to bring us to the verge of laughter than when we are up and live with a bubble of contentment inside. A bubble just growing more and more into the state of joy, feeding off whatever brings warmth and beauty into our life. It can be anything from a bright flower surviving and showing off in a ditch, to a clean and tidy countertop in our kitchen.

I made up my mind to change what I felt stole my years. I would look around seeing all these stunning women, older than myself, and I had just let myself go at a much younger age. I was wearing myself out thinking I had put myself on hold, letting myself down, not allowing my family to be proud of a mum looking the way she felt. Cause I knew I had a core of something good going for myself. In example: I like my eyes, the color of my eyes is quite nice. That should brought into focus. I just have to find out how, and then do something about it. I am not talking glamorous appearance. Just to look groomed and neat.

I wondered what it would take to become an image of me, who I am, what I stand for.

I have seen makeovers on TV and in magazines and what I see is women (and a few men) who, with small changes in make-up, hairstyle and clothes have maintained their expression but at the same time improved what signal they radiate to their surroundings in a much more positive way.

I am still in the process of researching my options.

There is one thing I know, though: I will not, never ever, do as 7 of my friends have done; I will not use surgery as a tool to improve.

Actually… our ordinary days are the product of our lifestyle. There is nothing wrong about that, but I think we do people around us a disservice if we look like something the cat dragged in from the alley. My only problem is the time issue... nothing really takes long, but when you have more than enough to tend to minutes count, a lot.

We make people we care about feel guilty about it. And guilty feelings never lead to any good. You can tell by all the well-meant comments like: “You should cut your hair shorter…”, “You would look lovely in a skirt like that…”, “That color really would make wonders on you…” And all you hear is nagging and criticism because you are too tired or too preoccupied to (mis-) understand the comments correctly.

For that reason alone I think we owe it to ourselves and to people around us to make an effort and take time to look as if we take care of ourselves too. To not do so would be a mistake, I think… At least that is what I think about that. Today, that is.

“Don't beat yourself up over past mistakes. Hold your head high and dry your tears. A new day is here”.
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