My collection of wise, and not so wise, postings

Monday 27 October 2014

Weird things Norwegians do


I just couldn't help copying this and post it. There is a lot of truths about Norwegians to learn here.
afroginthefjord: weird things Norwegians do

Disclaimer: “Weird” does not mean “negative”, some of these strange things are very positive and should be exported to the rest of the world :-)

1. You are telling a great story to your Norwegian friend/colleague. He or she will start making strange sounds: aspirations with the mouth as if they have the beginning of asthma. No panick, this just illustrate how interested they are in your story, and it means “yes, I agree, carry on with your story”. Nothing to be disturbed about.

2. As soon as Autumn comes, Norwegians enter some kind of telys hysteria, lighting them everywhere at any occasion. It is what I call the “endless need for koselig”, which I define as an inner summer that Norwegians create for themselves to feel like it’s warm all year long no matter the circumstances. (see How to make things Koselig)

3. Most Norwegians won’t mind spending 2 minutes sending an sms to bid for an apartment 300.000 NOK over the tagged price, but they will drive several hundred kilometers in a day to Sweden in order to buy a bottle of wine 50 NOK cheaper than what it would have costed in their own country.

4. Some people, especially from Trøndelag in my experience, will show massive enthusiasm and excitement by a simple “Det var bra”. That means anything you did, said or cooked was outstanding. True friendship and compassion can be shown by a single tap on the back. Love could be the lift of an eyebrow. Or the quiver of their trønderbart. Lift of an eyebrow + moving moustache + smile = I love you will you marry me.

5. Norwegians have great fish, potatoes, moose and reindeer meat as well as berries and many other fresh Products from the mountains and the sea. However, on a Friday evening, the big night for eating something special with friends and family, they will prefer eating beans and corn from a can and minced meat; calling it Tacos.

6. Despite mostly speaking perfect English, most Norwegians have not understood that the question “How are you?” is simply a polite form of “hello”. After being asked “how are you?”, some Norwegians might actually start telling you how they really feel. That his wife left him and his dog just died.

7. Norwegians can complain about a lot of things in their country: bad roads, lack of cantines in Norwegian schools, the quality of the salmon industry in Norway, the oil money not being spent adequately and so have you. If you, as a foreigner, raise a single criticism against Norway, they will be shocked that you dare say their salmon is bad or their roads could be better. Wait a second, isn’t that what you just did? I was just agreeing with you!

8. Most Norwegians, including many doctors, generally believe that 90% of diseases can be cured with one or a combination of these three elements: physical exercise, Tran, and ibux/paracet.

9. Memory is something tricky. In Norway there are rules about what is allowed to publicly remember: anything that happens between colleagues during julebordet, afterski party or seminars while we were all drunk is something everyone remembers but everyone pretends never happened.

10. Unlike in the rest of the world, Norwegians will leave you the keys to a remote little wooden hut and expect you to be honest, write down your name to receive the bill for the nights you stayed there and clean behind you for the next people coming. This is, I believe, the most marvellous strange thing Norwegians do and that I would like to create a movement called “honesty” that I will export to the entire world.

11. Someone you know just ignored you in the bus? Totally normal, this person is pretending they haven’t seen you/haven’t recognised you in order to avoid having to live through the awkwardness of talking to you for 3 minutes. Last night I saw someone I had met once and thought “No, I am a foreigner, only a Norwegian would ignore this guy”. Then followed 4 minutes of horrible awkward conversation which I just about survived with dignity, thinking next time I’ll look at my shoes and do like the rest of them.

12. It is called “Irish goodbye” but it could be renamed “Norwegian goodbye”. You are part of a group sitting in a pub, in a living room on any other social place having a good time. Suddenly someone disappears without saying goodbye and you might assume they went to the toilet/have a smoke. No they went home or to bed without saying goodbye. The question: were we THAT boring??

13. The black thing going down that man’s teeth is not a gum-disease, it is løssnus. Instead of smoking, Norwegians and Swedes use this pocket of tobacco they put under their upperlip, which also makes an unusual bump on one side of their mouth. Try kissing a man with løssnus! By the way I am not saying cigarette is better. Still gross but less weird because a bit more common in the non Scandinavian world.

14. What is the budget per family on sports equipment and clothing for every year? It seems to me anyone here starting from 6 years old has all the necessary equipment to go hiking in the mountain (gear for winter + summer), cycling, swimming, slalom skiing, langrenn skiing, running and sometimes klatring and other hobbies. Despite this stuff being very expensive some renew it every second year or every year. At that price no wonder some of these guys put on their full kondomdrakt to go pick up havregryn from the store.

15. When planning to have a baby, Norwegians will not look at astrology like Chinese or Indians. They will try to make sure their baby is born before September 1st in order to get a secured spot in a kindergarten for their baby. My colleague even did some acupuncture in order to deliver her baby just before the due date for this matter.

The interesting thing here is that after a few years in Norway, the things that seemed strange at first become completely normal. I actually told my mum, who lives in South of France and who was worried for me as winter is coming in Norway, that there is no dårlig været, bare dårlig klær. And the first thing I do when arriving somewhere outside of Scandinavia is to worry about finding knekkebrød in the stores. Who knows, in a few years I might even start growing a moustache and move to Trøndelag. Everything is possible is our strange world!

This text was published in Norwegian in today’s VG (Verdens Gang, a Norwegian tabloid newspaper): Kronikk: Nordmenns mange rariteter

And then:

This Is Norway | Highly Entertaining Video About Norway and Norwegians.





Monday 20 October 2014

What I think it's like to be a teacher.



Not me wearing it on the picture, but yes;
this is my brown leather jacket.
I guess my personality is not the prototype which first comes to mind when people think about "the teacher". I wear my black leather jacket almost every day, unless it's too cold: On cold days I wear my brown... and always heals. I am in the progress of getting my driver's lisence for heavy motorbike, and some of my jeans have holes in them.

I am so distracted that I understand how i some times cause confusion, but I admit my "out-of-the-ordinaries" and mistakes; I am not afraid to say "I'm sorry". In addition I am not good at being strict or angry. I laugh too much, sing off key and am lazy.
I know the list of my shortcomings must be a lot longer, but these were the ones which came to mind as I sit here writing.

However: as a teacher the story is a completely different one. In my private life I may be one step behind; as a teacher I know I am one step ahead. I have to be. Otherwise you do not last long in the classroom. Or, I guess you can, but I always thought that if you wake up in the morning and dread the day ahead of you, every morning, you really need to make some changes.
I used to master an academic language, but when I teach I start the school-year by avoiding 4-syllable words, and even though I once learned them, most of my professional language is out the window.

While writing this, my mind started disputing the ongoing thoughts I have about me staying in the classroom. I completed an MBA almost three years ago. I should have made a greater effort to put my education and qualifications to use. The thing is, though; it is so hard to build my confidence in what I can actually do. Or rather: How to get across to companies and boards that I may not have a title to support my experience in leadership, but I execute advanced leadership fairly ok every day, regardless my title not really implyin I do.

Funny thing, though; I have former students who settle down, get a family and buy homes in my neighborhood. With no exception they always get surprised finding out I am not a teacher 24/7. They comment upon how different I am in private.

As teachers we have a robot-side of our personalities. The rules, the demands and the restrictions we impose on our students may some times come across as unfair or just silly. However, we never have rules with no purpose. There is always a reason to why.
I strongly believe that to introduce restrictions you have no intention of following through do more damage than good. There are plenty of other issues to pay attention to.

In class I am in control, at home I have kids and a dog with lots of energy, and they only behave and follow my instructions when they want to. Now, I have to admit they most often make me very proud by wanting to, I have to give them that. But that might be because I don't tell them to do much.
Another thing is that we all have our talents. If you ignore your talent and make a living doing something you are not good at, that can't be even the slightest fullfilling. Doing that must feel like living in a vast void of losing yourself slowly and steadily.

A lot of the teenagers who come to us have never followed any borders or restrictions. They get away with doing their own thing whenever they want to. Gaming through the night is something we constantly have conversations with parents about. They often look at us with a startled face when we suggest they cut internet at a set hour. It's like as if the thought never crossed their mind, or they find it unthinkable because it will cause turmoil. Of course a 16-year old will have a tantrum if he/she is used to be online at all times, but that is part of being the adult in a family: to protect their kids from themselves and bad choices and arrange circumstances which help them be the best version of themselves. Our job is to prepare them for a good and healthy working life. Staying awake at daytime is always a good start.

I tell them "no, there is no room for negotiation", or I say "yes, let's do that!"
So many just lower their shoulders and relax when they don't have to spend time wondering what I actually said. And to my surprise they feel relieved when choices and decisions are made for them. Some times they have just been caught in bad habits. Habits they don't really want to keep up, but can't find a way out of. Some times I even explain my "no"s.
When weekends become the ones a week event it's supposed to be, most of us are a lot more content than if we just float on an ongoing stream of being "could have done better".

Everything used to be so much better. The kids are getting worse.
I don't think so. Yes, they are opinionated but they are also a product of society and my generation: the parents. I some times feel it unfair to blame it on the young ones.

Today we force adulthood upon children. How we dress them, what activities they participate in, how we put adulthood into their being by calling development of personality and growing up clinical words which strongly resemble adult activities. It's no secret I oppose strongly to the expression "children's sexuality". Why should getting to know your own body as a child have something to do with sex?
To me sexual activity is something which is only allowed between consenting adults. Our body is the only single thing we can choose who we give it to, and we should allow the next generation to have that privelege too.

It amazes me sometimes how we see the kind, thoughtful, smart person they just can't seem to see themselves. They have already failed too many times. They hide behind acting out, a terrible language and a face showing they don't care. Thing is, though, they do. But we sometimes forget to show and tell them how to do, how to talk to get their message across and how to act so they can be taken seriously.
Ones a young person decided they don't care, and they actually don't care, you will be challenged.
They've had 16 years of rehearsing stubbornness. It's tough on them because so have we.

As an adult and a teacher I have to tell them "stop". Not because of the sake of stopping them, but to help them take time out and think the options through. You always have a choice. The options might not be what you wished for, but the choice is there.

I am extremely patient as a teacher, even more than I am as a mum.
Thinking about it I don't think they will ever come across more patience in their entire lives. We all are, at least my coworkers on my team. To be this patient is very time consuming, but at the end of the day very rewarding. Some times I am very proud of my coworkers just because of that. Thinking about it I am always proud of them: they do a great job.

And then we have a curriculum to teach.