My collection of wise, and not so wise, postings

Thursday 6 February 2014

I Wish You Enough by Bob Perks

The Story

Bob wrote this story after watching a father and daughter say goodbye at an airport. Although the story resonates in the hearts of millions who have had to face similar such moments in their lives, the true message in this story comes in the "Seven Wishes." With permission from the author, those words have been read at graduations, weddings, funerals, awards ceremonies and even engraved on a grave stone.

 

"I Wish You Enough!" ©By Bob Perks


 I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I'm not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.

I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to "hello" and "goodbye. "I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.

I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.

Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.

On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, "How are you today?" I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said goodbye."

She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!" We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye.

But I learn from goodbye moments, too.

Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together.

They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said,

"Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy."

They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me.

Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.

So I knew what this man experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked.

"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said.

"When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much
bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye."

He then began to sob and walked away.

My friends, I wish you enough!
 

Tuesday 21 January 2014

Sometimes I know better, but....


Under this posting you will find Lessons Life Taught Me by Regina Brett. I like them, they are thought through and cover most aspects of life, as well as being down to earth and achievable. Only thing is: lessons are something wise being taught, and you may both learn and understand what has been said and done, but it doesn’t mean you instantly embrace it as something you include in your life, or evolve and revolve your personal growth around. I understand that my truth is not quite like everybody else’s, and sometimes the good guidelines you get to lead a good life are not even compatible to your life.
Even though I appreciate how the lessons of old age can enlighten my own being, they don’t always appear very significant to me. Maybe I am just being stubborn and like to make my own mistakes, but still. How my many mistakes might have a negative impact on me, my circle and the world peace in general (always important to want world peace… and to pronounce you really wish for it in the future) is a totally different story.

As I was reading the list of lessons, it struck me how easy it is to find objections. It also struck me how strange it is for me to give in to the urge of objecting to what I deep down, in my heart of hearts, know is right. I refuse to believe I am the only one like that. We like to make our own mistakes, even though others have made the exact same mistakes, or made the same bad choices, and we know for a fact it never has a good outcome. We think we will do better than everybody else. The inherent belief in ourselves that we are in control of ourselves and our lives, is strong. We reject the thought of us being as weak as everybody else.

Another thing about lessons (being a teacher I know this is something which is hard to avoid, but which we all should be aware of and try to avoid) is how they often come across as a big NO. I wish I was better at saying YES.

We don’t like the feeling of someone pointing a finger at us. We want to be individuals; we want to be accepted for who we are even though very few of us dare to stand out and show who we truly are. I don't know why this is, why we pretend to be or act different than the way our instant instinct tells us to be and act... maybe we think we are better people doing so. It's just that it backfires, because all we accomplish is to feel and come across as fake. We can't pretend being someone we are not. Sooner or later we slip up and give ourselves away.

The need to be approved of is really strong!  

I am far from perfect, but it doesn’t mean I am a lost case, and I need for someone to tell me I am both ok and fine the way I am; flaws and everything. Same thing goes for my work, my looks, my taste, my choices…