A cat-a-call.

A woman walks down the street, wearing what she considers to be ordinary clothes. It's a fine day, apparently lovely weather. She comes across as rather determined as she walks along; she doesn't stroll, she doesn't smile, she doesn't give any indication she is open for conversation.
Nevertheless she gets "catcalls".

I have learned that the "proper" dictionary some times give the general understanding of an expression, even slang, so when the Oxford Dictionaries tells me that a "Catcall" is:

"A loud whistle or a comment of a sexual nature made by a man to a passing woman:
women were the objects of catcalls when they walked by the men’s barracks.
This is mostly a stereotype, but some men shout catcalls at women on the street, especially when the men are in groups".

And the Urban Dictionary says a "Catcall" is:

"When a guy gives the wert whirl whistle or yells at a babydoll for the purpose of getting attention and in hopes of a future hookup. This is usually done out of the window of a car. Typically a Pontiac Firebird, or Camaro.
99.9% a hookup never arises and it's just the thrill that keeps these going".

I understand that it's indeed about the ancient chase of a flirty interlude, which may or may not lead to something (hopefully) memorable. Or so men, in particular, want to believe.

Of course I have talked to men, and women, about this ten-hour-documentary. Most online have some opinion about it; some more than others.
The men most often admit that some of the things they wouldnt say, but there is nothing said which seem bad to them.

I can relate to why they say that, but I also get what women say, which kind of boils down to the fact that women in many situations feel they are being objects, rather than having self value. We have struggled for quite a few years to get credit for what we know and what we can do.

When I point this out, men just give me a strartled look and go "Can't they be both?".

We all want to be appreciated for who we are, we desperately want the inner beauty phrase to be true, and when approached we want it to be genuine, you know?

I would think it would be nice to know that you have a certain beauty that men like. Yes, it is a shallow thig to say, but let's be honest: most women spend a lot of time and money to look their best, and we wish more men did the same.
Whether we go through the agony of beautifying ourselves for the sake of men or other women is disputable, but it is something we do to enhance our self esteem.  Most of what we do to ourself to feel and look great really doesn't show at all. (And when we feel it's not enough, we go to the extremes... but that's a totally different issue.)

It is a fine line, but when passers by just yell a random line at you, it feels like you are just there for their amusement, or letting steam off...

I don't like strangers to call me sexy. First of all I know it is a lie, so I get embarassed that others hear it and see my shortcoming. When called sexy in public, everybody size me up and I can literally hear their conclusion click in their heads. And it's never good.
And if I am wrong about men's intention, it doesn't matter, because it feels like they want me to feel something about myself, which isn't true... and i get cautious; almost waiting for them to throw that last line. which will be a joke on me.

On the other hand, if I knew I looked very fine, it would be a different story.... then I would straighten my back and walk that slow catwalk... If I knew how.

She is a very beautiful woman. Not just the face and the curves and the style, but she also has a posture a lot of women probably envy her. There is an aura of self esteem and strength I believe makes her even more attractive.
To be honest I really don't think the comments were all bad intentioned. Of course there is no way I can know that 100%, but I sincerely don't think they were.

What I do think is that the "10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman" started out with an agenda: To show that women get harassed and that the frequency of it is a problem. And I do agree that street harassment, when it occures, is a problem. Everybody should feel safe walking down any street, regardless of where.

And about the frequency... It's not like as if it's the same guy making the comments. There is, however, a guy walking next to her for several minutes not saying a word.... is it possible he was going the same way and that the speed was the natural speed for him to keep up? There is a chance. I'm not advocating his intentions, I am just asking if it is possible. He would have said something if he wanted to approach her, right?

There is a fine line between what we call compliments, a pick up line and what we perceive as harassment. I don't think anybody would perceive "Hey, beautiful" as harassment at a bar (... with the possible exception of if you were a mob wife and called Renee).

A friend of mine updated his status on Facebook:

"I really like the honey-flavored Jim Beam bourbon, but it's somewhat awkward buying it at the liquor store. Whenever the clerk asks me what I want and I say, "Jim Beam Honey," she thinks I'm asking her out."

I commented upon that saying: "Well, next time you should play along and have a coffee"

Little did I know that someone would come and torpedo my good intentions by adding the comment: "If she is a "looker" and receptive, go for it."

Okey... does that mean I would be worth asking out only if I were beautiful?
This, this right here.... the words you just read right now is the core of the problem:

We listen to people talk, but we only hear what we want to hear. We deliberately fail to misunderstand eachother correctly. We all have a lot to say, but we don't all know how to express it politically correct.
Maybe all men should start wearing a hat, and when expressing admiration, they should smile a little smile and greet the woman by touching the rim of his hat while keeping eye contact.

When people for some reason happen to say things out loud, and we feel it is the wrong timing, and they caught us in the wrong mood, we turn hostile.
Same phrase, different time and different place can make us smile and feel good about ourselves. But how to know?

Are the callings coming her way of sexual nature? I am not quite convinced. You could say she looks a bit sad, as she's walking along; maybe there is a chance some just wanted to cheer her up?Are the comments made out of genuine interest and good will? There is no way I can know that.

Best thing for you to do, if you want to avoid me snapping at you, is as following: when you think about wanting me to smile, you just whistle to yourself.

Weird things Norwegians do

I just couldn't help copying this and post it. There is a lot of truths about Norwegians to learn here.
afroginthefjord: weird things Norwegians do

Disclaimer: “Weird” does not mean “negative”, some of these strange things are very positive and should be exported to the rest of the world :-)

1. You are telling a great story to your Norwegian friend/colleague. He or she will start making strange sounds: aspirations with the mouth as if they have the beginning of asthma. No panick, this just illustrate how interested they are in your story, and it means “yes, I agree, carry on with your story”. Nothing to be disturbed about.

2. As soon as Autumn comes, Norwegians enter some kind of telys hysteria, lighting them everywhere at any occasion. It is what I call the “endless need for koselig”, which I define as an inner summer that Norwegians create for themselves to feel like it’s warm all year long no matter the circumstances. (see How to make things Koselig)

3. Most Norwegians won’t mind spending 2 minutes sending an sms to bid for an apartment 300.000 NOK over the tagged price, but they will drive several hundred kilometers in a day to Sweden in order to buy a bottle of wine 50 NOK cheaper than what it would have costed in their own country.

4. Some people, especially from Trøndelag in my experience, will show massive enthusiasm and excitement by a simple “Det var bra”. That means anything you did, said or cooked was outstanding. True friendship and compassion can be shown by a single tap on the back. Love could be the lift of an eyebrow. Or the quiver of their trønderbart. Lift of an eyebrow + moving moustache + smile = I love you will you marry me.

5. Norwegians have great fish, potatoes, moose and reindeer meat as well as berries and many other fresh Products from the mountains and the sea. However, on a Friday evening, the big night for eating something special with friends and family, they will prefer eating beans and corn from a can and minced meat; calling it Tacos.

6. Despite mostly speaking perfect English, most Norwegians have not understood that the question “How are you?” is simply a polite form of “hello”. After being asked “how are you?”, some Norwegians might actually start telling you how they really feel. That his wife left him and his dog just died.

7. Norwegians can complain about a lot of things in their country: bad roads, lack of cantines in Norwegian schools, the quality of the salmon industry in Norway, the oil money not being spent adequately and so have you. If you, as a foreigner, raise a single criticism against Norway, they will be shocked that you dare say their salmon is bad or their roads could be better. Wait a second, isn’t that what you just did? I was just agreeing with you!

8. Most Norwegians, including many doctors, generally believe that 90% of diseases can be cured with one or a combination of these three elements: physical exercise, Tran, and ibux/paracet.

9. Memory is something tricky. In Norway there are rules about what is allowed to publicly remember: anything that happens between colleagues during julebordet, afterski party or seminars while we were all drunk is something everyone remembers but everyone pretends never happened.

10. Unlike in the rest of the world, Norwegians will leave you the keys to a remote little wooden hut and expect you to be honest, write down your name to receive the bill for the nights you stayed there and clean behind you for the next people coming. This is, I believe, the most marvellous strange thing Norwegians do and that I would like to create a movement called “honesty” that I will export to the entire world.

11. Someone you know just ignored you in the bus? Totally normal, this person is pretending they haven’t seen you/haven’t recognised you in order to avoid having to live through the awkwardness of talking to you for 3 minutes. Last night I saw someone I had met once and thought “No, I am a foreigner, only a Norwegian would ignore this guy”. Then followed 4 minutes of horrible awkward conversation which I just about survived with dignity, thinking next time I’ll look at my shoes and do like the rest of them.

12. It is called “Irish goodbye” but it could be renamed “Norwegian goodbye”. You are part of a group sitting in a pub, in a living room on any other social place having a good time. Suddenly someone disappears without saying goodbye and you might assume they went to the toilet/have a smoke. No they went home or to bed without saying goodbye. The question: were we THAT boring??

13. The black thing going down that man’s teeth is not a gum-disease, it is løssnus. Instead of smoking, Norwegians and Swedes use this pocket of tobacco they put under their upperlip, which also makes an unusual bump on one side of their mouth. Try kissing a man with løssnus! By the way I am not saying cigarette is better. Still gross but less weird because a bit more common in the non Scandinavian world.

14. What is the budget per family on sports equipment and clothing for every year? It seems to me anyone here starting from 6 years old has all the necessary equipment to go hiking in the mountain (gear for winter + summer), cycling, swimming, slalom skiing, langrenn skiing, running and sometimes klatring and other hobbies. Despite this stuff being very expensive some renew it every second year or every year. At that price no wonder some of these guys put on their full kondomdrakt to go pick up havregryn from the store.

15. When planning to have a baby, Norwegians will not look at astrology like Chinese or Indians. They will try to make sure their baby is born before September 1st in order to get a secured spot in a kindergarten for their baby. My colleague even did some acupuncture in order to deliver her baby just before the due date for this matter.

The interesting thing here is that after a few years in Norway, the things that seemed strange at first become completely normal. I actually told my mum, who lives in South of France and who was worried for me as winter is coming in Norway, that there is no dårlig været, bare dårlig klær. And the first thing I do when arriving somewhere outside of Scandinavia is to worry about finding knekkebrød in the stores. Who knows, in a few years I might even start growing a moustache and move to Trøndelag. Everything is possible is our strange world!

This text was published in Norwegian in today’s VG (Verdens Gang, a Norwegian tabloid newspaper): Kronikk: Nordmenns mange rariteter

And then:

This Is Norway | Highly Entertaining Video About Norway and Norwegians.

By: UnofficialNetworks January 28, 2014 7:38 am