40 bags in 40 days 2014

A year ago I joined the 40 bags in 40 days challenge. 40 bags in 40 days is a challenge which takes place during lent (the catholic period of fasting). To me this was a blessing in disguise. For many years I had this problem of collecting too much stuff around in my house. Read more here: https://www.facebook.com/events/637377976316873/?fref=ts 

I grew up with parents born before WW2. My mother always told me to take care of things, especially clothes, in case of rougher times. Actually, as a teen I used to redesign and alter clothes a lot and they turned out pretty cool. But that was the 80s, which was really convenient, because I couldn’t really afford buying clothes then and fashion back then allowed an individual style. At the time having access to stored, old stuff made sense.

Anyway, I learned that we do not throw away stuff, we keep it… thing is: things started piling up, too much of everything, and suddenly I looked around and discovered I never used any of it, but it took up a lot of space in my house. Space I would really like to clear away and make useful and presentable and room to breath.

I started off thinking that all the piles and boxes in my house was an impossible task to take on, when I stumbled upon this challenge I started thinking that a tiny bit is a lot more than nothing at all, so I joined. I didn’t do it the scientific way: I did not download the calendars or plans available everywhere on the net, I didn’t have a room or area scheduled each day. I just thought that I’d wing it. Everywhere was somewhere good to get started. But it was scary, I tell you.

At first it was really easy: a bag was filled in no time. Getting rid of a little bit of it all wasn’t too painful. Some days I even discarded a lot more than what I had planned. It was 5 minutes of contending passions. But as the 40 days was coming to an end it became more painful. I found things I had forgotten I even had, and I found things which I knew would never be used again, but memories overwhelmed me. It is stupid to hold on to broken etch a scetch just because my son wrote his name for the first time on it, but it is painful to get rid of.

I continued, though. Trying to be reasonable about it all, and after a while it became more of a personal cleansing. I reminded myself of the advantages I would get from it all:

-More space

-Easier to clean

-More presentable home

-Less clutter…. The list grew longer the more I thought it through.

On day 40 I started thinking I was doing something which was good for me. I could already see the results, and I was happy about it. The present became even more important to me, and the feeling of constantly to resign in frustration was replaced with the feeling of achieving something great. To me it was great anyway, and the family started to notice the changes in our house.

off to Salvation Army second hand store.

There was no reason for me to stop, just because the 40 days were over. Every day I got rid of another bag. Some days I just cleared out too small socks from my kids’ drawers, other days I finally got rid of boxes of pocket books I had read too many times.

One day I didn’t have much time to spare… less than my usual 10 minutes, so I grabbed a grocery bag and went into the bathroom. There I threw away empty shampoo bottles, expired creams, lotions and make up and I ended up filling up three bags.

I just love how good I am getting at getting rid of clutter… yes, I stopped calling it stuff or things; now I see clutter.

Today is Ash Wednesday, people from all over the western world are picking up on the challenge. To get some starting help you maybe need a schedule.

White House Black Shutters offers this one:

http://www.whitehouseblackshutters.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/dailyprogress.pdf

Or maybe you just use your calendar on your phone…

I didn’t need one last year; this year I have noted down areas to focus on each day… there is less to just shuffle into a bag now.

I noted it down on the family planner, which is in plain sight in the kitchen. The kids have become curious, so this year it will be more of a family activity. I just can’t wait until this afternoon… I am excited to get started!

A man's true wealth

Now and then you come across people who actually put the time and resources, whether it is profit, energy, knowledge or networks, and put an effort on issues you wish you were more engaged in yourself.

One might wonder why I did not mention capital as means or resources, but capital is something achieved by results. It has never been so that if only you have the money then the results will be better. You do not run fast just because you have money, but for the one who runs faster the road to a comfortable account is a lot shorter. And money can be an important motivating factor, when the hunger for personal glory gradually becomes saturated. A good cause, on the other hand (opposed to achievements), can never be an economic cash cow, at least not legally, but it can become a source of economic concerns.

We have a wealth of good causes and charity to work for, even here in Norway which is such a good country to live in. It is by no means necessary to travel to Africa, or another continent, to find people who feel they are both left and alone somewhere hopeless. Many do not know where to turn to begin the work to make things better in life, they are captured by a paralyzing discouragement. Often, low self-esteem because they have never had the opportunity to learn, their best has never been challenged, or instead of constructive criticism they used to be judged north and down no matter what they did. I do not like using the term, and I don’t mean it in a degrading way, but that's the way we create losers.

When someone does something on behalf of your cause you feel so privileged, it 's like you get personal service and attention. Finally someone actually looks into the dark, inner corners of hopelessness and disappointment which so far has been subject to a fierce and increasing existence soaked in self-pity.

Self-pity is the worst listener. Not even a weary man with a turned off hearing aid is worse. You become so absorbed in yourself and your own situation that no matter what others share with you there is never an appropriate response: you reply by telling about your own almost similar situation and experience. It's like as if you think that if you just share your own misfortune, all the time, you give your support and encouragement. Maybe your story, told 17 times all over again is what gives new vitality to further combat... since the fight for the cause is a personal gesture on your behalf. I'm a bit ironic now, I admit. I don’t feel very kind either, but I get so tired over the fact  that we don’t have it in us to be more generous. It wears me out not to be able to show generosity.

I must honestly admit that one of the hardest thing in the world, for me, is to give praise to someone doing something I know I should have done more of myself. I should have called, written, spoken up, painted, taken photos ... in one way or another been better at expressing where I stand, pick a side, be a better advocate for groups of human beings who are not able to promote their cause.

Molière said way back then, more than 350 years ago, that " A man's true wealth is the good he does for his fellow man."  So true, so very true: Having a generous nature that includes other is a great property. And it’s rare, which is sad because it enrichen your life incredibly much. Envy, jealousy and offended curt has, on the other hand, never led to either happiness or quality of life.

In my head it does not need to be a contradiction to say out loud that doing good for their fellow man has a price. It is time to acknowledge our perception that time is money and we do not have many other opportunities to recognize an engagement than to admit the spending cost.

My 7-year old had a conversation with his father, where the father at one point says that " ... nothing is free ." The boy thinks for a few seconds before it comes, " Oh, yes there is, otherwise there wouldn’t have been such a word! "

He has a good point there that 's hard to find a good answer to, but if it does not cost so much in dollars and cents, it still costs. To tell your story requires that you violate a defense wall of silence. It requires compromising with yourself and often those you love. You steal your beloved’s time with you. Yes, it costs to take the lead, which is why so few of us actually do it. That is why some can treat other plain and little worthy... until a hero comes along who points out the injustices that are being committed.

To say out loud that the fight has a price should not be seen as a shortcoming in the knight’s armor, although one likes to think that those who fight one's case is perfect and infallible. Ultimately, no one can fight alone, and the sympathy and support in the form of listening to their story is one thing , cash that enables them to continue the fight another ... when money are so necessary, it is a wonder they are so unpleasant to mention. That may be how we got the term "a necessary evil".