A man's true wealth

Now and then you come across people who actually put the time and resources, whether it is profit, energy, knowledge or networks, and put an effort on issues you wish you were more engaged in yourself.

One might wonder why I did not mention capital as means or resources, but capital is something achieved by results. It has never been so that if only you have the money then the results will be better. You do not run fast just because you have money, but for the one who runs faster the road to a comfortable account is a lot shorter. And money can be an important motivating factor, when the hunger for personal glory gradually becomes saturated. A good cause, on the other hand (opposed to achievements), can never be an economic cash cow, at least not legally, but it can become a source of economic concerns.

We have a wealth of good causes and charity to work for, even here in Norway which is such a good country to live in. It is by no means necessary to travel to Africa, or another continent, to find people who feel they are both left and alone somewhere hopeless. Many do not know where to turn to begin the work to make things better in life, they are captured by a paralyzing discouragement. Often, low self-esteem because they have never had the opportunity to learn, their best has never been challenged, or instead of constructive criticism they used to be judged north and down no matter what they did. I do not like using the term, and I don’t mean it in a degrading way, but that's the way we create losers.

When someone does something on behalf of your cause you feel so privileged, it 's like you get personal service and attention. Finally someone actually looks into the dark, inner corners of hopelessness and disappointment which so far has been subject to a fierce and increasing existence soaked in self-pity.

Self-pity is the worst listener. Not even a weary man with a turned off hearing aid is worse. You become so absorbed in yourself and your own situation that no matter what others share with you there is never an appropriate response: you reply by telling about your own almost similar situation and experience. It's like as if you think that if you just share your own misfortune, all the time, you give your support and encouragement. Maybe your story, told 17 times all over again is what gives new vitality to further combat... since the fight for the cause is a personal gesture on your behalf. I'm a bit ironic now, I admit. I don’t feel very kind either, but I get so tired over the fact  that we don’t have it in us to be more generous. It wears me out not to be able to show generosity.

I must honestly admit that one of the hardest thing in the world, for me, is to give praise to someone doing something I know I should have done more of myself. I should have called, written, spoken up, painted, taken photos ... in one way or another been better at expressing where I stand, pick a side, be a better advocate for groups of human beings who are not able to promote their cause.

Molière said way back then, more than 350 years ago, that " A man's true wealth is the good he does for his fellow man."  So true, so very true: Having a generous nature that includes other is a great property. And it’s rare, which is sad because it enrichen your life incredibly much. Envy, jealousy and offended curt has, on the other hand, never led to either happiness or quality of life.

In my head it does not need to be a contradiction to say out loud that doing good for their fellow man has a price. It is time to acknowledge our perception that time is money and we do not have many other opportunities to recognize an engagement than to admit the spending cost.

My 7-year old had a conversation with his father, where the father at one point says that " ... nothing is free ." The boy thinks for a few seconds before it comes, " Oh, yes there is, otherwise there wouldn’t have been such a word! "

He has a good point there that 's hard to find a good answer to, but if it does not cost so much in dollars and cents, it still costs. To tell your story requires that you violate a defense wall of silence. It requires compromising with yourself and often those you love. You steal your beloved’s time with you. Yes, it costs to take the lead, which is why so few of us actually do it. That is why some can treat other plain and little worthy... until a hero comes along who points out the injustices that are being committed.

To say out loud that the fight has a price should not be seen as a shortcoming in the knight’s armor, although one likes to think that those who fight one's case is perfect and infallible. Ultimately, no one can fight alone, and the sympathy and support in the form of listening to their story is one thing , cash that enables them to continue the fight another ... when money are so necessary, it is a wonder they are so unpleasant to mention. That may be how we got the term "a necessary evil".

Burned Biscuits – A lesson we all should learn.

I have not found the origin to this story, which is a pity, cause even though I steal a wise word here and there, I like to give credit to those who deserve it. This is...

A must read….

When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!

All my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing…never made a face nor uttered a word about it!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said, “Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then.”

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Your Mom put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides–a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!”

As I’ve grown older, I’ve thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people.

I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that’s my prayer for you today…that you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He’s the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn’t a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket–keep it in your own.”

So, please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine.