Happiness #4 Don’t live too far from work.

Longdistance commuting is really tiresome. You waste way too much time on board the train or in traffic jam to and from work. The longer the distance the less leisure time you get. Leisure time has a positive effect on the feeling of happiness.

My experience is that you don’t have to have a long distance to work to spend a long time getting there… or back home. The queues are long, trains are often unpredictable, the busses are stalling in the same queues as the cars (unless there is a line for public transit, then the busses gore the same line as taxis and electric cars). Being late for work is one thing, not to get home on time is a different story: That is worse.

The other day I was reading the newspaper about a woman who on commission gives speaches to industry and commerce about how to be happier. She does rather well, maybe because she is so convincing selling her presentation by stating that happier employees are better employees. In the portrait interview she says that when you are caught in a jam at rush hour, don’t get stressed out or let yourself become impatient. You are not getting anywhere any faster anyway. Allow the moment to be a break, listen to the radio or good music and enjoy the recess.

As if! When something gets in my way, which delays me, I know my kids are anxious waiting for me at home. They have places to be and times to be there. The technique of living in the present and focus on the good side effects of events is perhaps excellent… if all you need to worry about is when the 24/7 gym closes. For my part it is a question of follow up my kids; their doings and everyday life.

Running by the clock all day kind of inhabit my person. It stresses me out to be late, even when being late is not a big deal. The thing about stress is that you can’t decide when it must let go, and it stays in your body for ever so long. Long after the chase is over you can still feel it. I have experienced stress attacks and it hurts a lot. At times I have very little energy; it is hard to get a grip and get out of the house whether it is to go for a walk or do something else. The sofa is so comfortable, especially if I think I can get some peace and time to read. I have to stop doing that, though, because I often fall asleep and by that destroy the little sense of circadian rhythm I got left. I know I have a job to do trying to fix that, but I have great hopes it will get better… it will all get a lot better. Soon. Some day. I have high hopes.

I have no idea what the right answer to what happiness really is, but ... although I shiver and tremble with freezing cold (perhaps not that strange as it is, after all, winter, and the wind has been whistling cold and hard for over a month now) spring is already well underway within me. I thaw and feel warmer inside, and although this is not the correct definition to what happiness is, I am sure it applies?

Happiness #5 Enjoy what you got.

You feel happier if you take some time to think about what you actually got. Not saying you have to think about it all the time, not even every day, but now and again. Focus on the things you own, rather than spending time wanting what your neighbor have.

It is challenging to me to enjoy what I got. By all means; I have a really good house which is tight to water and wind… even cold, I have a fairly ok car which starts like clockwork every morning and has room for just about anything. There isn’t much I need or want, although I really, really wish for a carport. I know it will be built in very near future, so it is not like as if I get an angst attack thinking about it. You see: I have no storage room in my house, and a lot of what I keep indoors is stuff which is to be kept in the storage unit at the back of the carport. Tools, paint, flowerpots… that kind of things. It will be like as if the entire house will grow and become roomy over night. That will be just lovely!

There is no use for me to wish for new furniture. I’ve got what I call “constraint furniture”. It’s not as negative as it might sound, but there are limitations as far as the they are conserned. Since I have these furniture, and houses have limited space (I know, however, a couple of people who don’t believe there is such a thing as floor space… you know, just enough to let a mop dance over your floor and under the chairs and sofa).

I do have a few items of furniture I have bought myself, i.e. my kitchen table which is absolutely gorgeous and fantastic, and it’s bought on IKEA. I like it, not because of its look, but because I can seat 14 people around it, and it is just worn enough to be comfortable. Just about everything takes place there from wrapping gifts, baking and repairs to office related doings.

The only downside to the kitchen table is that when it is so large that there is also room for a lot, and this "much" is bits and bobs that just laid there, and it makes itself comfortable staying put right there. Mail, books, stationery and a lot of other stuff piles up until I get too impatient and throw it away or put it in place .

But, yes, I am delighted with what I got. Even my “constraint furniture” gives me great pleasure. Now there may be some who hesitate a bit when reading I have something called “constraint furniture”. Those are bits of furniture that are so old or have such a great sentimental value, it is hard to get rid of. Furniture that 80 years ago were crafted by Grandpa is not something you can just chuck out of the house because you want a new style. Fortunately, I like them. I can sit in my living room and look around and tell stories about most of what is there.

If I were to point out something I have, which I'm unhappy with, it must be my hidden piles of unfinished needlework. I have a lot of art supplies I keep thinking I sometime in the future will have time to conjure it all into something beautiful, after all there is no expiration date, so it is all good. But ... I have a few projects I once started that sometimes annoy me. It annoys me that I can’t find it in me to finish it, and I'm too stubborn to get rid of it. For example, I must have at least three unmounted sweaters that I once knitted. I don’t quite understand why I haven’t finished  them, either. It’s sort of just stayed like that. I think I'll look at it soon ... again , some time.

Strictly speaking, I rejoice what I have. And I don’t begrudge my neighbors anything they have. Their tended gardens (mine should be completed in a year or two) and apparently always newly washed cars, and it's downright quite nice to look at for me, as a neighbor. I am fortunate to live in a nice neighborhood with neighbors who care about their homes.

I have no idea what the right answer to what happiness really is, but ... although I shiver and tremble with freezing cold (perhaps not that strange as it is, after all, winter, and the wind has been whistling cold and hard for over a month now) spring is already well underway within me. I thaw and feel warmer inside, and although this is not the correct definition to what happiness is, I am sure it applies?