Happiness #5 Enjoy what you got.

You feel happier if you take some time to think about what you actually got. Not saying you have to think about it all the time, not even every day, but now and again. Focus on the things you own, rather than spending time wanting what your neighbor have.

It is challenging to me to enjoy what I got. By all means; I have a really good house which is tight to water and wind… even cold, I have a fairly ok car which starts like clockwork every morning and has room for just about anything. There isn’t much I need or want, although I really, really wish for a carport. I know it will be built in very near future, so it is not like as if I get an angst attack thinking about it. You see: I have no storage room in my house, and a lot of what I keep indoors is stuff which is to be kept in the storage unit at the back of the carport. Tools, paint, flowerpots… that kind of things. It will be like as if the entire house will grow and become roomy over night. That will be just lovely!

There is no use for me to wish for new furniture. I’ve got what I call “constraint furniture”. It’s not as negative as it might sound, but there are limitations as far as the they are conserned. Since I have these furniture, and houses have limited space (I know, however, a couple of people who don’t believe there is such a thing as floor space… you know, just enough to let a mop dance over your floor and under the chairs and sofa).

I do have a few items of furniture I have bought myself, i.e. my kitchen table which is absolutely gorgeous and fantastic, and it’s bought on IKEA. I like it, not because of its look, but because I can seat 14 people around it, and it is just worn enough to be comfortable. Just about everything takes place there from wrapping gifts, baking and repairs to office related doings.

The only downside to the kitchen table is that when it is so large that there is also room for a lot, and this "much" is bits and bobs that just laid there, and it makes itself comfortable staying put right there. Mail, books, stationery and a lot of other stuff piles up until I get too impatient and throw it away or put it in place .

But, yes, I am delighted with what I got. Even my “constraint furniture” gives me great pleasure. Now there may be some who hesitate a bit when reading I have something called “constraint furniture”. Those are bits of furniture that are so old or have such a great sentimental value, it is hard to get rid of. Furniture that 80 years ago were crafted by Grandpa is not something you can just chuck out of the house because you want a new style. Fortunately, I like them. I can sit in my living room and look around and tell stories about most of what is there.

If I were to point out something I have, which I'm unhappy with, it must be my hidden piles of unfinished needlework. I have a lot of art supplies I keep thinking I sometime in the future will have time to conjure it all into something beautiful, after all there is no expiration date, so it is all good. But ... I have a few projects I once started that sometimes annoy me. It annoys me that I can’t find it in me to finish it, and I'm too stubborn to get rid of it. For example, I must have at least three unmounted sweaters that I once knitted. I don’t quite understand why I haven’t finished  them, either. It’s sort of just stayed like that. I think I'll look at it soon ... again , some time.

Strictly speaking, I rejoice what I have. And I don’t begrudge my neighbors anything they have. Their tended gardens (mine should be completed in a year or two) and apparently always newly washed cars, and it's downright quite nice to look at for me, as a neighbor. I am fortunate to live in a nice neighborhood with neighbors who care about their homes.

I have no idea what the right answer to what happiness really is, but ... although I shiver and tremble with freezing cold (perhaps not that strange as it is, after all, winter, and the wind has been whistling cold and hard for over a month now) spring is already well underway within me. I thaw and feel warmer inside, and although this is not the correct definition to what happiness is, I am sure it applies?

Happiness #6 Enjoy a lovely meal.

Spend some time to cook a wonderful meal with your girl-/boyfriend or friends at home, or enjoy a gourmet meal at the restaurant. The French are masters in enjoying good food and wine - learn from them! Do not do other things while you eat, such as watching television simultaneously. Focus on your meal and being with those you eat, or dine, with.

I am very fond of cooking. After I got decent knives (good knives are half the cooking experience, everything goes so smoothly and quickly that it's almost as if the food comes about by itself, like magic) the pleasure of cooking has only gotten bigger.

From time to time we invite guests, which makes the meal even more fun to make because I then cook something other than my usual 15 - minute dinners.

I have a friend who almost always brings along one or more mysterious guests, because she knows I think it's fine. It could be someone she thinks sits alone too often in the evenings, or anyone who comes to her door as she is on the way out. I have realized that many think it's weird or something they would have had problems to tackle, but for me it's just the way she is, and it is always nice. More than nice, it is downright pleasant.

It's so pleasant that we often don’t move on into the lounge. The talking flows, they are like chatterboxes, and I don’t have the heart to hurry them on. So, we sit on hard kitchen chairs all night, without anyone being upset or think less of me because of it.

She says that the reason why she invites guests along is that she knows I do not mind (eventually I have learned to expect that there will be more guests than I initially invited) and since she sees that I have such a relaxed attitude to this unusual extend hospitality, she even finds it amusing and makes a point out of it. She is aware that it is of course strictly unheard of… just not with me.

I'm never quite finished cooking when guests arrive. The salad is often tossed together while guests are sitting there talking. So while I’m cutting tomatoes and cucumbers we have something to talk about, like an icebreaker. There might even be a little fuss when I throw a tomato in the air and splits it in two in the air with one of the great blades of mine. (Sometimes it's okay to show off a little. Just a tiny bit, that is.)

It's so incredibly nice to make food that people show they appreciate (it is possible that their greatest pleasure is that they don’t have to do the dishes, but I do live in hope that the food is also to their tasting).

The contrast to the family meal is huge. Strikingly often we eat while we make preparations to go somewhere, almost on the go. The times we have time to have a proper meal together we tend to become less people around the table because the youngest sneak silently from the table with plate and cutlery into the living room to bench themselves in front of the TV. I'm not too happy about it, but rarely make a fuss. After all, they eat the food. As they leave the table, and the conversation stops in unhappy silence some of us reach for the newspaper to read the headlines of today, or yesterday's newspaper still to be found in the pile at end of the table. They are all aware that I do not like it, so on special occasions, Christmas and stuff, they stay, and we sit together at meal 's end. It's sort of an reward that they prove they, after all, know how to behave, and that they realize that a meal can be a special and pleasant occasion.

I have no idea what the right answer to what happiness really is, but ... although I shiver and tremble with freezing cold (perhaps not that strange as it is, after all, winter, and the wind has been whistling cold and hard for over a month now) spring is already well underway within me. I thaw and feel warmer inside, and although this is not the correct definition to what happiness is, I am sure it applies?