It was the
perfect time for making plans on my “now-or-never”… for specific things I have
always wanted to do or see (or both). Most things I do, I do on an impulse (I
learned at a young age that plans often fall through due to… well there are
many reasons why you must put your own needs and wants aside), but some things
needs planning.
My list started
off very cautiously:
#1: Go to London
by myself again, like I used to do. To walk through museums, streets, markets
and parks. Sit on pavement restaurants with a cup of coffee, or a decadent
glass of wine. Just enjoy impressions with no one tugging my arm or calling my
name.
#2: Getting my
house sorted. Everything to have its own place, and everything is to be put at
its own place.
#3: Get a driver's
license for heavy motor cycle, and buy one. And, of course, ride it.
#4: Go to Bhutan
#5 …..
…. The list goes
on with quite a few more things I want to do.
Some things I
have to put off a bit, but my first move was to call the driving school and
schedule my first lesson and the essential theory course. I bought all the necessary
equipment: suit, gloves, helmet and boots and started taking lessons without
ever having been on a motor cycle before. I have to be honest with you: The reasons
why I wanted to do this were not because I have reached a rebellious stage in
life. And yet I do acknowledge I am in my 40s and midlife crisis do hit in the
strangest ways at the most inconvenient times. Still waiting for the crisis to
hit, though. So far life is getting better each and every day (but that’s
another story for another day).
I was thinking that
I have been a mother for 18 years. My youngest is now 6 and more independent.
It is possible for me to get away now, go somewhere with only room for me, my
driver’s license and my visa.
It would also be
cool to have a legal excuse for wearing a leather suit at my age (that plan was
torpedoed as I ended up with a GoreTex suit). I still look cool, though.
Last, but not
least, my workplace is removing all the parking spots; I need to be able to get
home if something happens to my kids. I couldn’t possibly wander about waiting
for the next bus.
In spite of
lacking the initial reason “FUN”, that is what I found when I learned how to
ride a motor bike. It is great! I can’t believe I haven’t done this a long time
ago. Even though I hate doing things I am not good at: Riding a heavy motor
cycle is the most fun I have had in years!
Made me thinking:
As we reach certain ages, we tend to
think more about the past and find joy in memories of what used to be. That is
so not right. The older we get the more we know about life. That knowledge can
only add quality to what we choose to do.
My grandmother
was a widow for 11 years, and then chose to marry a man who had never been
married before. He had a major crush on her as a teenager. She knew, and yet
they had never held hands until they met again. She was 67 when they got
married. He was 68. Many thought they were mad, and it was quite scandalous to
get married at such an old age. They got 20 adventurous years together.
Life is not over
just because of a number. It is not fair to anyone to sit down and wait for the
end to come.
I think I am:
Young enough to have
emotions. Too old to play those games. Young enough to try something new. Too
old to have to like it all. Young enough to have faith in people. Old enough to
know everyone isn't good. Young enough to laugh at myself. Old enough to not
mock others. Young enough to participate in discussions. Old enough to realize
when I’m wrong. Young enough to take defeat. Old enough to be well-equipped for
more. Young enough to think ahead. Old enough to accept there has been water
under the bridge. Young enough to be excited about the future. Old enough to
remember the past. Young enough to love. Too old to carry hate. Young enough to
show consideration. Old enough not to expect anything in return. Young enough
to wish for more acquaintances. Old enough to choose my own friends and acquaintances.
Young enough to live. Old enough to appreciate all the good things in life.