Take good care of eachother - don't gloat

“A knight was expected to have not only the strength and skills to face combat in the violent Middle Ages but was also expected to temper this aggressive side of a knight with a chivalrous side to his nature. There was not an authentic Knights Code of Chivalry as such - it was a moral system which went beyond rules of combat and introduced the concept of Chivalrous conduct - qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women”.

§  To fear God and maintain His Church

§  To serve the liege lord in valour and faith

§  To protect the weak and defenceless

§  To give succour to widows and orphans

§  To refrain from the wanton giving of offence

§  To live by honour and for glory

§  To despise pecuniary reward

§  To fight for the welfare of all

§  To obey those placed in authority

§  To guard the honour of fellow knights

§  To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit

§  To keep faith

§  At all times to speak the truth

§  To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun

§  To respect the honour of women

§  Never to refuse a challenge from an equal

§  Never to turn the back upon a foe

Just like the Ten Commandments, these are such great virtues to live by. Not because they define the rules of membership to a section of the population or a religion, but because the guys back then paid some attention and found out what it would take to be at peace with each other and the society in which they lived, to make people they surrounded themselves with the best they could be, and to show respect when respect was called for.


Reading the newspapers and watching the news on TV, regardless of reference or agency, I come to think about how we disrespect others and often gloat at other people’s misfortune. That is perhaps our greatest source of entertainment. Sad but nevertheless true.
That aside: what I really like about these guidelines is the fact that if you try to live by them, you do not have to live your life constantly looking over your shoulder. Worrying people have issues they feel are unsettled between you.


So many people I know (myself included) realize they have not always made the right choices. They have blamed others for they own shortcomings, given up at other people’s expense, not stood up for others when they know for sure they have been wrongfully discredited… to make it short: they have done what I have done myself: trying to make life easier on themselves and if lucky; getting a good story out of it; A good story just because this time (as well) it is about someone else.


To mind our own business is what we really want to do, and that others stay out of our business is what we keep telling them to do, but we get annoyed when we discover somebody could have helped someone we love and care for: Quite a deadlock, right?


I am far from being a saint, I mess things up all the time, and I know I at times walk away when I should have stayed facing the heat. Maybe it would have been easier to make the right choices if we had more approval, from society in general, to give fair and matter of fact feedback, without being percepted as meddlesome. 
If we focused more on other people’s well-being rather than the entertainment value of their misfortune, maybe, just maybe, we could have had more good times together, instead of looking for our own and others’ possible social embarrassments. 

On the phone...

Every day I see people almost maniacal preoccupied with their mobile phone; watching the screen as they constantly press keys, buttons or shuffle on the screen.  

I do understand that a mobile phone is not just a phone… People tend to store their entire life on their phone: contacts with info like numbers, picture, address, date of birth, calendars with appointments and special occasions (even Christmas, Valentine’s Day, National Day and other rather obvious can’t-miss-out-on-noticing-they-are-coming-up days), pin codes and passwords. Not to mention down or uploaded music, games (I recommend wordfeud!), internet with social medias like facebook, twitter and msn (I am sure there are more, but those three should represent the nature of them all.)

There is something ridiculous about people shopping for groceries while talking to themselves, and not very discreetly either, mind you. They jabber about people, names and their private issues, paying no attention to fellow customers or shop assistants.

Walking about in their own private sphere, people do not realize people hear what they say in their end. I do not really consider it eavesdropping when they talk that loudly, either.

It is quite a while since I had a meal in a restaurant without hearing someone’s phone ringing. I miss that. I miss having a conversation and a meal without being abrupted, in the middle of a sentence, with the words: “Hang on, I just have to take this call”. And I end up sitting there, in my own awkward limbo, listening to my company being overly friendly to a friend or a coworker who just called to say hi, as I sit there feeling more and more neglected, left out and less important than the random person on the phone.

Sometimes I feel people talking on the phone or sending a text message are getting more attention and are taken more seriously, than the one there, in person. Maybe we think people would feel turned down if we do not instantly reply to the approach a call or a text message actually is, but to be honest: To talk to someone on the phone and then hear the toilet flush really is no compliment to me.

I am old enough to remember when people did not expect me to be accessible at all times.

Maybe that is the reason why I put my mobile phone away and leave it in the car or keep it out of reach and audibility in various ways. For some reason some find it appropriate to ask me why I did not answer their call at the time they called… I could be tending to private business, you know.

I am not as brave as a friend of mine, though, who has the following message on her phone service: “Hi, either I am not available right now, or I just do not want to talk right now. Leave a message and I might get back to you”.