The Internet: My Oracle

The internet is a true blessing, and a very scary thing. Anything can be found there: you want proof the moon is in fact a cheese, you just go online and you find facts and videos to support your agenda.

When I have a lot to do, or perhaps a lot on my mind, I can spend hours procrastinating; surfing the net and entertain myself with an endless series of photos and videos of science experiments, babies and cats and horses... dogs even. Quotes, ads and sponsored suggestions are placed a strategical easy click away. More and more often I find pages too fancy and eventful; it takes forever to upload them. When I come across sites like that I find a hidden, strange kind of pleasure in avoiding them in the future. Yeah, that's the kind of brainless sports you can do online.

I have felt very poorly for quite a few months now, even more than usual, that is. I have blamed work, drama in my life and in my circles and a tight schedule. But somehow my general condition has not made any sense. There hasn't been any logic to my state of wretchedness which hovers over my everyday. I'm not sick or anything, I just feel, well, wretched. All the time!

Last night, in an attempt to ease my discomfort, I went outside and sat on my front door steps; It was freezing cold, for the first time this winter, and it felt lovely... for a second, untill I broke a sweat and feared I would freeze stuck on the landing.

I can't keep feeling like this, I know. I have known for quite some time, but after blaming life in general, last resort is to blame menopause. I still wish it is a few years away, but it could be happening right now: this may be the actual months I am turning old! Maybe I should celebrate? Mourne?

Anyway. I Googled menopause, but it didn't quite fit. There were a few symptoms I just don't recognize. I won't bore you with the details on that... not untill 15 years or so from now, anyway.

Then I came up with this brilliant idea to type in my symptoms and see what came out of it.

I sat there, in front of my laptop, with my fingers ready to type down any symptom I could come up with. I was thinking the more symptoms the more accurate hit.

Symptoms I added were:

• Strong cravings for sugar (especially right after meals, even though I am full; I just really want that last taste, and that has to be the taste of sweetness). 
• Uneasiness and restlessness in my body (shiverings, diffuse discomfort). 
• Headaches. 
• Giddiness. 
• Exaggerated breathing, almost like walking up a hill (sometimes it's even tough to complete a sentence without an extra breath of air, and singing is hard). 
• Palpitation (I can feel every beat, and some times even how my heart skip a beat). 
• Unable to consentrate. 
• Sleeplessness. 
• Spinelessness. 
• Sadness. 
• Irritability and touchiness 
• Confusion (probably because I can't find myself able to focus). 
• Weight issues. 

In all honesty I didn't use quite as many words. I kept it short and to the point. I wrote down every uncomfortable feeling I could come up with. What scared me, is that the internet came up with many hits, but only one suggestion to what it might be: Reactive Hypoglycemia.

I read all the articles and felt more and more sorry for myself. Words like "rare", "diet", "severe", "treatment" and a few other ones jumping out of the texts started to make sense to me, and I started feeling like a sick person.

And I felt lucky I had only a few of the symptoms, because I would have been devastated if I in addition had feelings and symptoms like anxiety, depression, wave of sobs, cramps, antisocial behaviour, constipation, hunger and thoughts about suicide.

I have felt like all of them, but one. I have never, ever considered or thought about suicide. Well, I have thought about it, just not thought about it as something which conserned me. We all knew someone who comitted suicide, I presume, and it is natural to make up ones mind about it.

Anyway, I have had moments when I, weak as a kitten, found myself curled up on the bathroom floor, calling for my kids to help me and get me a glass of water... just because I just couldn't get up from the floor, but I have always thought "it will pass", which it does because I have no other option, and after a few brief moments I am again able to pull myself together and get up and get going.

Those fits are really unpleasant; they resemble the fits of hypoglycemia I had as a teenager. Back in those days the doctor made housecalls, and I remember Dr. Natvik would come and give me shots in my arm, and tell me to slow down and get some sleep.

Back then my entire body felt like jelly, and I lost control and struggled like a car with a small engine on a steep uphill road. I would shiver and feel very cold, and then very hot and break a sweat the next second.

I don't like this one bit. Just a couple of months ago I had my cancer tests done. I haven't heard anything from the lab or my doctor, which is good. I would have been contacted if there was any sign of cancer. I know the drill, they did last time.

Now I have to go back to the doctor and tell her I think I might be sick or something, because I don't really feel well, and I am not quite sure I am old enough to crumble like this, just yet, for no particular reason at all.

And she will size me up and tell me to change my diet and lose weight and get in shape... again. And I will think to myself: I am in shape... which is round. And I will leave the doctor's office thinking it has nothing to do with the surgery I had 20 years ago removing my choleic system, it's not that I'm overweight or don't wind down enough.

I'll go home and log back on to my online wizard, the internet oracle, and find answers that are more to my liking... and of course: cures.

Ruled by my hands?

It's no secret I just love the tests which pop up on my facebook. It can be about anything from what kind of animal are you, which flower are you to what are your most distinct character features.
I don't really know why I like them, but they do kind of boost my curiosity on the outcome of my choices.
I try to answer as truthfully as possible, and even though I never post the results on facebook (now, that I find just as annoying as people's candy crush results), I do copy and share with one or two I believe know me a little.

Last night, while doing nothing, I took a test asking "What are you ruled by?" A few of my facebook friends posted cheerful comments on being ruled by their heart, or head, and when I took the test I was so hoping for being ruled by something more poetic, like my heart, which was the option that seemed the most noble to me.
Anyway, I conscientiously clicked off the options on all the ten questions, and clicked "complete".
I have to admit I was a tiny bit disappointed:

You are ruled by your: 

Hands: Ingenious and Creative 

You are a highly creative person, with profound imagination, and an appetite for original thinking. Naturally, your brain has a way of figuring out how the things you see in your head should come about into the real world. Wether it's visual or auditory, all creativity stems from nature and you get your inspiration from it to create something that is truly marvelous. To you, satisfaction comes from truly expressing and bringing to life that which is already alive inside you.

Seriously?  Ten options, and this is what I get? So I sent the result to a friend, and the response was: "yes, that sounds like you".

It would have been great to get a "gentle" or "kind and caring" in there somewhere, but I guess that's not really me then.

Thinking it through, though, I have to admit I am creative. My best hours are spent with a book, but in a really strong second place is doing crafts.
It can be anything from painting, papercrafts, sewing, knitting... anything to do with texture and colours. I just simply love it! 
Not only that, if I can come up with an idea to bring out the best in me and people around me it makes me happy.

Kind of folds nicely in with "my new project".

It is common in Norway that the senior year in junior high, the students get to go on a class trip. A year ago my son's class decided to go to Poland, to visit Auswitch, the salt mines and a few other sites.. and do some shopping.

For various reasons they failed to raise money for the trip, so now I have gotten involved. We do voluntairy work: washing the home nurses' cars, we sell boxes of cookies and candy, we sell a kind of local pancakes in a store on Saturdays, and now we are going to participate in the city's Christmas Market. A four days event, where people sell whatever product they have to sell.

We have a lot of nice things the parents, grandparents and the students have made, and I have high hopes to the income.
One of the parents told me that "We were very frustrated, but it is very hard to be negative when you guys are so excited!" 

Well, there are a few really energetic parents, who have chosen to get involved, all I did was to kick them started. They are creative, kind, engaged and really take their kids' adventures seriously. It is wonderful to work with people like that. I just created commotion, and gave them "permission" to start working towards a goal.
I have no executive powers given me, I just planted a word here and there.
Another thing they are greatful of is that I do not allow negativity to overshadow their efforts.
I also want thje students to feel ownership to the trip, so I expect of them to put in effort.
It wouldn't be too much to just cash in the tickets, but they wouldn't learn much from that, would they?

My goal is that the trip is to be fully financed by our voluntairy work; noone should have to stay at home because they can't afford the trip, or because they have parents who for various reasons don't care enough, or are unable to, make an effort. I am rather stubborn about it, and I believe it to come true. And that might be my strongest feature.

Questioned good.

A couple of weeks ago Bob Geldof gathered quite a few famous artists to record another version of the "bygone", 80s hit: "Do They Know It's Christmas". Again his aim was to use music and a few good household names to raise money for a worthy cause.
This time for the benefit of ebola victims. 

When we heard this event was to take place, we knew what to come next, people are so predictable: "Humiliating", says Liberia researcher Robtel Neajai Pailey to al-jazeera.

Stars like Bono, One Direction, Sinead O'Connor, Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran, Paloma Faith and Coldplay's Chris Martin showed up in the studio in London to do their thing, and 36 hours later they were done. The CD single goes on sale December 8th.
Of course critical voices were raised:

The well-known and reputable TV channel al-Jazeera has been in contact with a number of African prominent and renowned scholars, activists and analysts questioned whether Geldof thus hanging out an entire continent as a black hole, completely unable to take care of themselves and depend on help from the rich part of the world.
- Nigeria and Senegal have had outbreaks of Ebola and handled this efficiently. As has Congo, says Abdullahi halakha, an analyst from Kenya.

He does not deny that he also believes that Ebola epidemic has been devastating, but a song recorded out of charity reasons does not solve the problem.

Robtel Neajai Pailey claims that this type of music is overbearing, redundant and out of date.

She points out that a number of artists from the Ebola-hit countries have written and published songs with a view to educate the population about ebola.

She tells Geldof to cut it out. It is great that They record and release songs to educate people, but... thing is: If an African artist, famous in Africa, releases a song which is educational about the disease and people listen and learn, and they raise money to secure research, medicines, medical personnel and additional care; Can they really afford to say no, thank you, to funds which will support and ensure further effort?

SolAbout Lemm, writes in an article that a study from 2001 showed that Bob Geldof's "Live Aid" project meant that 80 per cent of the British population only associate developing countries with poverty and misery.
I am sorry, but it is not new of date that many countries are developing countries. I refuse to believe Bob Geldof's "stunt" is what caused this perception. Western population was made aware, yes, but it was old news.

This new recording is the fastest selling song in the UK in 2014, and it sells faster and more than the original version in 1984. The online world shows its excellence in applicability; it is easy to download and play music we take an interest in. In other words: serious money are into the matter.

Isn't it flippin' annoying? Of course the cred police here at home feel the need to stand out and claim the song just isn't up to standards of good music. Too popular music never is, you know. Good, I mean.
Thank God we have people who take the task seriously and call a spade a caterpillar.
The most enthusiastic contribution here in Norway has probably come from "Dagbladet"'s music critic who gave the song a dice 1 under the heading "Totally f_ _ _ ed up!". She isn't satisfied with the artists who contribute and cuts right to the core: "What motives, those who spend their time doing this, really? They can't possibly care all the while the vocals are flat as a cookie?"

Since we are talking about glitterati artists, it is fair to wonder what the artists really care about in this project: is it the ebola or the image?" It is commonly known that when state of celebrity sinks in, the sense of empathy and social engagement runs out. Apparently, according to public scandalmongers.
And that's not all: several of the artists she has not even heard of. Why are they included in this elite of musicians? Well, all I can say is that if you are a music critic, but unwilling to follow the rising of up and coming artists, perhaps you should start writing your memoirs.

It never even crossed my mind that to feel a sense of capital liability, and spend effort, time, talent and fame to raise money in an attempt to do some good for somebody should be a bad thing.

If Ebola victims in West Africa only knew. If only they had known what lay behind the care they now receive. Had Ebola victims known that several of the artists who contributed are totally unknown to 40- and 50-year-olds in Norway, they probably would have thought twice before they agreed to get help and treatment. They would most likely go to see Doctors Without Borders (MSF), which treats people where the need is greatest. An international medical humanitarian organisation, probably run by love, care and air.

Taken ill the sorry way

Feeling very sorry for myself right now. I thought I had a cold, but that can't be right... not the way I feel, and for how long I've felt this way: I am sure I've got a flu. And it's bad. I am usually spared from tummy bugs, and I boast and behave overbearing when my coworkers have sickness absenteeism, but I am really not good at being sick myself. Actually I think I am perhaps the worst patient ever; I whine and moan and tell everybody polite enough to listen... or pretend to listen. I'm comforted either way.
I have barely any patience with sulking hypochondriacs myself, so I know they are far nicer to me than I deserve. Today I am well enough to realize that.

A week ago, on Saturday, I felt at unease, Sunday I got terrible muscle knots in my back and a temperature. I was pretty ok as long as I didn't move at all. I wasn't pretty ok much; those who live with kids know that staying immovable is not always an option... in fact: it's not an option at all.
I took a lot of muscle relaxing painkillers that day, not too many, mind you, but I maximized recommended amount of all the pills and mixtures I could find.

Monday I had a headache. My eyes were red and puffed and I looked as if I had cried my eyes out... all day. My students took one quick look at me and worked with their tasks in the most devoted way. They display lovely empathy some times.

To minimize the alert factor and avoid students asking too many questions I powdered my face regularly. As a result I looked as if I was wearing a strange mask falling off in layers and flakes. To be honest I'm not sure it improved my appearance any, it is possible I looked worse.

Yesterday I clogged up and my head felt like a pressure tank unable to explode. The outside world sounded muffled and wrapped in cotton, but inside my head I could hear these loud creaking noices and the sound of bubbles popping inside my nose. Much like thick ice breaking on a lake.
I used any remedy found in the medicine cabinet, and then some home remedies suggested to me in what must have been my friends' desperate attempt to shut me up. It was a quest of finding a cure allowing me to breath without gasping for air.
Something, or everything, or the combination of it all, and perhaps some time, must have helped.

Today I feel fine! A week of agony is over! I find myself cursing every day I feel great and take it for granted.
My coworkers greeted me good morning when I arrived for work this morning, like they do every morning, and when I greeted them back I got standing ovation.

appropriately moody

There are a so many attitudes inherent in us, but for some reason happiness is the one we refer to most often. That is the trend in attitude, and mood, we are supposed to strive for. Maybe it is part of the American influence on everybody, since it's mentioned in the United States Declaration of Independence, and all. Even those of us not even been to the States are tinted. We all want to be happy, even though we can't really say what it takes to be happy. Happiness is different to each and every one of us, depending on our values and beliefs.
We all have an attitude about everything; waking up, husband, children, laundry, work, working out and everything else we do, see, hear and experience.

I have written about happiness before, but I just can't let it be just yet, and knowing myself it will be subject for my ponderings and rambling ons yet again. Either I am totally off track, or there is something wrong about what we think happiness actually is. I have to admit that I had no clue the "pursuit of happiness" is a right specified in the Declaration of Independence; I didn't know! Not untill now, that is.

Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.[1] A variety of biological, psychological, religious, and philosophical approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources. Various research groups, including positive psychology, endeavor to apply the scientific method to answer questions about what "happiness" is, and how it might be attained.
It is of such fundamental importance to the human condition that "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" were deemed to be unalienable rights by the United States Declaration of Independence.
The United Nations declared 20 March the International Day of Happiness to recognise the relevance of happiness and wellbeing as universal goals. In 2014 Happy (Pharrell Williams song) became the anthem and inspired clips from around the world. (Wikipedia) 

This time my thoughts are not preoccupied with happiness in particular, I just happened to get a bit hung up on it... probably because I gave in to my propensity to associate and let my mind wander. Anyway, initially I was going to let my thoughts spin on the matter of attitude.

As a teacher I am pretty preoccupied with attitude, not my own attitude towards issues, mind you, but my students'. We all have attitudes, you see, but not all of our attitudes are quite like what we would prefer them to be. I don't have an attitude; I have good days and bad days, and that's it. As if, of course I've got an attitude... we all do!

We have bad attitudes and good attitudes, but not many really point out what is bad and what is good.
We can emit:
optimism, pessimism, confidence, interest
independence, jealousy, courteousness, cooperation
consideration, inferiorness, happiness, frankness
respectfulness, authoritation, sincereness, persistence
honesty, sympathy, realisation, faithfulness
flexibility, decisiveness, trust, thoughtfulness
determination, love, hostility, modesty
reliability, tolerance, humbleness, cautiousness
sarcasm, helpfulness, hard working
... and I am sure there are more.

Often when I talk, and mingle, with people who excel in  one or another field what strikes me is that they are so cocky. Hardly any exceptions: they talk with authority and are really bad listeners.
It is hard to keep up conversation if they are not allowed to stick with their own field of interest. My instant thought would be that they have severe issues regarding social behaviour, but when I draw focus away from me and try to understand their situasion, I can't say it's a bad attitude. It's how they need to be to be different and better and to keep the belief that what they do is important.
Their attitude is only bad as long as I focus on how I wish people around me are.
What we think, what we do and what we feel is what forms our attitude. While sometimes knowledge and experience form our attitude. And sometimes our attitude is based on our assumptions and beliefs.

A mood is not the same thing as an attitude. Attitude is your manners combined with your mood. It is how you feel and and position yourself to a person, a topic or a thing. It is how you carry your body in different situasions. The way you view something or tend to behave towards it.
Whether I regard people to have a bad attitude depends on my attitude. haven't really thought about that before, but now that I do think about it I find it right. A man is not an island, and attitude is not judged and perceived untill meeting somebody else.

A bad attitude make you seem unwilling and negative. You expose your family, friends and other people who cross your path, to this aura of no-ness. It's like they can't get across to you becuse you have shut down and locked yourself in a stubborn habit which is unpleasant to be around. Habit was maybe a bit harsh, but if you have accepted you can show a bad attitude and you don't care enough how you affect other people, it easily becomes a habit.
Or maybe you just don't realize you affect them, because you think you are not that significant.

Some say that changing your bad attitude and replacing it with a more positive way of thinking is just like developing any other virtuous habit. It takes persistence, planning and effort. Change attitude and be.... ecstatic! Thilled and over the moon at all times, every hour, every day.
Ok, maybe not that happy, but, well; happier.

I'm not quite convinced it's that easy. There has to be some kind of motivation and drive to do it, and I think that can only come from other people and their feedback.
Some are never satisfied. Others are depending on people to confirm what they have, and who they are, is good.

You have to be very close to someone to give feedback on their attitude.
Only time I do that, is when I get so annoyed I tell them off, and there's only one thing that is good for: to tear people down.

When you have it in you to have a good attitude you can't count on getting credit for it... which is really sad, because we all need a pet on our shoulder to keep going. Part of having a good attitude is that you don't gain self value from other people's unfortune.

I read an article in The New York Times about how Google works. Or, rather, the article is about a book written about Google.
I am sure they hardly ever experience employees having a bad attitiude towards work. They don't have a kind of company policy which actually allows that.

In many ways we live in a fantasy world, where people feel like a failure if they can't keep up with the successful lives of others. We display our happiness on social medias and in conversations while showing off our tastefully decorated homes... which are never untidy.

We have so much edited, filtered and touched up things coming at us every day. I get exhausted.
It is about time we accept our lives as they are. It doesn't mean we should stop doing the best we can and make things we are not happy about better. It means we change from "what we want everything to be like" to "something real".

I believe in selfworth and being the best version of ourself. It's not the same things to all of us, because we have different standards and values and resources, but it is important to be able to think good things about yourself. It doesn't mean things are always fine and dandy.

Art Linkletter defined a good attitude by saying: "Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out."

You know what? I demand the right to be appropriately moody, and still be percieved as a person with a good attitude. I will throw fits, create emotional fireworks, and some times just keep to myself... a lot of the time, actually. It doesn't mean I have a bad attitude, it means I am human and that I have feelings... but if that becomes a habit of mine, and all I ever do to others is to inflict my "no's" and "never's",  that's a totally different matter all together.

A cat-a-call.

A woman walks down the street, wearing what she considers to be ordinary clothes. It's a fine day, apparently lovely weather. She comes across as rather determined as she walks along; she doesn't stroll, she doesn't smile, she doesn't give any indication she is open for conversation.
Nevertheless she gets "catcalls".

I have learned that the "proper" dictionary some times give the general understanding of an expression, even slang, so when the Oxford Dictionaries tells me that a "Catcall" is:

"A loud whistle or a comment of a sexual nature made by a man to a passing woman:
women were the objects of catcalls when they walked by the men’s barracks.
This is mostly a stereotype, but some men shout catcalls at women on the street, especially when the men are in groups".

And the Urban Dictionary says a "Catcall" is:

"When a guy gives the wert whirl whistle or yells at a babydoll for the purpose of getting attention and in hopes of a future hookup. This is usually done out of the window of a car. Typically a Pontiac Firebird, or Camaro.
99.9% a hookup never arises and it's just the thrill that keeps these going".

I understand that it's indeed about the ancient chase of a flirty interlude, which may or may not lead to something (hopefully) memorable. Or so men, in particular, want to believe.

Of course I have talked to men, and women, about this ten-hour-documentary. Most online have some opinion about it; some more than others.
The men most often admit that some of the things they wouldnt say, but there is nothing said which seem bad to them.

I can relate to why they say that, but I also get what women say, which kind of boils down to the fact that women in many situations feel they are being objects, rather than having self value. We have struggled for quite a few years to get credit for what we know and what we can do.

When I point this out, men just give me a strartled look and go "Can't they be both?".

We all want to be appreciated for who we are, we desperately want the inner beauty phrase to be true, and when approached we want it to be genuine, you know?

I would think it would be nice to know that you have a certain beauty that men like. Yes, it is a shallow thig to say, but let's be honest: most women spend a lot of time and money to look their best, and we wish more men did the same.
Whether we go through the agony of beautifying ourselves for the sake of men or other women is disputable, but it is something we do to enhance our self esteem.  Most of what we do to ourself to feel and look great really doesn't show at all. (And when we feel it's not enough, we go to the extremes... but that's a totally different issue.)

It is a fine line, but when passers by just yell a random line at you, it feels like you are just there for their amusement, or letting steam off...

I don't like strangers to call me sexy. First of all I know it is a lie, so I get embarassed that others hear it and see my shortcoming. When called sexy in public, everybody size me up and I can literally hear their conclusion click in their heads. And it's never good.
And if I am wrong about men's intention, it doesn't matter, because it feels like they want me to feel something about myself, which isn't true... and i get cautious; almost waiting for them to throw that last line. which will be a joke on me.

On the other hand, if I knew I looked very fine, it would be a different story.... then I would straighten my back and walk that slow catwalk... If I knew how.

She is a very beautiful woman. Not just the face and the curves and the style, but she also has a posture a lot of women probably envy her. There is an aura of self esteem and strength I believe makes her even more attractive.
To be honest I really don't think the comments were all bad intentioned. Of course there is no way I can know that 100%, but I sincerely don't think they were.

What I do think is that the "10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman" started out with an agenda: To show that women get harassed and that the frequency of it is a problem. And I do agree that street harassment, when it occures, is a problem. Everybody should feel safe walking down any street, regardless of where.

And about the frequency... It's not like as if it's the same guy making the comments. There is, however, a guy walking next to her for several minutes not saying a word.... is it possible he was going the same way and that the speed was the natural speed for him to keep up? There is a chance. I'm not advocating his intentions, I am just asking if it is possible. He would have said something if he wanted to approach her, right?

There is a fine line between what we call compliments, a pick up line and what we perceive as harassment. I don't think anybody would perceive "Hey, beautiful" as harassment at a bar (... with the possible exception of if you were a mob wife and called Renee).

A friend of mine updated his status on Facebook:

"I really like the honey-flavored Jim Beam bourbon, but it's somewhat awkward buying it at the liquor store. Whenever the clerk asks me what I want and I say, "Jim Beam Honey," she thinks I'm asking her out."

I commented upon that saying: "Well, next time you should play along and have a coffee"

Little did I know that someone would come and torpedo my good intentions by adding the comment: "If she is a "looker" and receptive, go for it."

Okey... does that mean I would be worth asking out only if I were beautiful?
This, this right here.... the words you just read right now is the core of the problem:

We listen to people talk, but we only hear what we want to hear. We deliberately fail to misunderstand eachother correctly. We all have a lot to say, but we don't all know how to express it politically correct.
Maybe all men should start wearing a hat, and when expressing admiration, they should smile a little smile and greet the woman by touching the rim of his hat while keeping eye contact.

When people for some reason happen to say things out loud, and we feel it is the wrong timing, and they caught us in the wrong mood, we turn hostile.
Same phrase, different time and different place can make us smile and feel good about ourselves. But how to know?

Are the callings coming her way of sexual nature? I am not quite convinced. You could say she looks a bit sad, as she's walking along; maybe there is a chance some just wanted to cheer her up?Are the comments made out of genuine interest and good will? There is no way I can know that.

Best thing for you to do, if you want to avoid me snapping at you, is as following: when you think about wanting me to smile, you just whistle to yourself.

Weird things Norwegians do

I just couldn't help copying this and post it. There is a lot of truths about Norwegians to learn here.
afroginthefjord: weird things Norwegians do

Disclaimer: “Weird” does not mean “negative”, some of these strange things are very positive and should be exported to the rest of the world :-)

1. You are telling a great story to your Norwegian friend/colleague. He or she will start making strange sounds: aspirations with the mouth as if they have the beginning of asthma. No panick, this just illustrate how interested they are in your story, and it means “yes, I agree, carry on with your story”. Nothing to be disturbed about.

2. As soon as Autumn comes, Norwegians enter some kind of telys hysteria, lighting them everywhere at any occasion. It is what I call the “endless need for koselig”, which I define as an inner summer that Norwegians create for themselves to feel like it’s warm all year long no matter the circumstances. (see How to make things Koselig)

3. Most Norwegians won’t mind spending 2 minutes sending an sms to bid for an apartment 300.000 NOK over the tagged price, but they will drive several hundred kilometers in a day to Sweden in order to buy a bottle of wine 50 NOK cheaper than what it would have costed in their own country.

4. Some people, especially from Trøndelag in my experience, will show massive enthusiasm and excitement by a simple “Det var bra”. That means anything you did, said or cooked was outstanding. True friendship and compassion can be shown by a single tap on the back. Love could be the lift of an eyebrow. Or the quiver of their trønderbart. Lift of an eyebrow + moving moustache + smile = I love you will you marry me.

5. Norwegians have great fish, potatoes, moose and reindeer meat as well as berries and many other fresh Products from the mountains and the sea. However, on a Friday evening, the big night for eating something special with friends and family, they will prefer eating beans and corn from a can and minced meat; calling it Tacos.

6. Despite mostly speaking perfect English, most Norwegians have not understood that the question “How are you?” is simply a polite form of “hello”. After being asked “how are you?”, some Norwegians might actually start telling you how they really feel. That his wife left him and his dog just died.

7. Norwegians can complain about a lot of things in their country: bad roads, lack of cantines in Norwegian schools, the quality of the salmon industry in Norway, the oil money not being spent adequately and so have you. If you, as a foreigner, raise a single criticism against Norway, they will be shocked that you dare say their salmon is bad or their roads could be better. Wait a second, isn’t that what you just did? I was just agreeing with you!

8. Most Norwegians, including many doctors, generally believe that 90% of diseases can be cured with one or a combination of these three elements: physical exercise, Tran, and ibux/paracet.

9. Memory is something tricky. In Norway there are rules about what is allowed to publicly remember: anything that happens between colleagues during julebordet, afterski party or seminars while we were all drunk is something everyone remembers but everyone pretends never happened.

10. Unlike in the rest of the world, Norwegians will leave you the keys to a remote little wooden hut and expect you to be honest, write down your name to receive the bill for the nights you stayed there and clean behind you for the next people coming. This is, I believe, the most marvellous strange thing Norwegians do and that I would like to create a movement called “honesty” that I will export to the entire world.

11. Someone you know just ignored you in the bus? Totally normal, this person is pretending they haven’t seen you/haven’t recognised you in order to avoid having to live through the awkwardness of talking to you for 3 minutes. Last night I saw someone I had met once and thought “No, I am a foreigner, only a Norwegian would ignore this guy”. Then followed 4 minutes of horrible awkward conversation which I just about survived with dignity, thinking next time I’ll look at my shoes and do like the rest of them.

12. It is called “Irish goodbye” but it could be renamed “Norwegian goodbye”. You are part of a group sitting in a pub, in a living room on any other social place having a good time. Suddenly someone disappears without saying goodbye and you might assume they went to the toilet/have a smoke. No they went home or to bed without saying goodbye. The question: were we THAT boring??

13. The black thing going down that man’s teeth is not a gum-disease, it is løssnus. Instead of smoking, Norwegians and Swedes use this pocket of tobacco they put under their upperlip, which also makes an unusual bump on one side of their mouth. Try kissing a man with løssnus! By the way I am not saying cigarette is better. Still gross but less weird because a bit more common in the non Scandinavian world.

14. What is the budget per family on sports equipment and clothing for every year? It seems to me anyone here starting from 6 years old has all the necessary equipment to go hiking in the mountain (gear for winter + summer), cycling, swimming, slalom skiing, langrenn skiing, running and sometimes klatring and other hobbies. Despite this stuff being very expensive some renew it every second year or every year. At that price no wonder some of these guys put on their full kondomdrakt to go pick up havregryn from the store.

15. When planning to have a baby, Norwegians will not look at astrology like Chinese or Indians. They will try to make sure their baby is born before September 1st in order to get a secured spot in a kindergarten for their baby. My colleague even did some acupuncture in order to deliver her baby just before the due date for this matter.

The interesting thing here is that after a few years in Norway, the things that seemed strange at first become completely normal. I actually told my mum, who lives in South of France and who was worried for me as winter is coming in Norway, that there is no dårlig været, bare dårlig klær. And the first thing I do when arriving somewhere outside of Scandinavia is to worry about finding knekkebrød in the stores. Who knows, in a few years I might even start growing a moustache and move to Trøndelag. Everything is possible is our strange world!

This text was published in Norwegian in today’s VG (Verdens Gang, a Norwegian tabloid newspaper): Kronikk: Nordmenns mange rariteter

And then:

This Is Norway | Highly Entertaining Video About Norway and Norwegians.

By: UnofficialNetworks January 28, 2014 7:38 am

What I think it's like to be a teacher.

Not me wearing it on the picture, but yes;
this is my brown leather jacket.

I guess my personality is not the prototype which first comes to mind when people think about "the teacher". I wear my black leather jacket almost every day, unless it's too cold: On cold days I wear my brown... and always heals. I am in the progress of getting my driver's lisence for heavy motorbike, and some of my jeans have holes in them.

I am so distracted that I understand how i some times cause confusion, but I admit my "out-of-the-ordinaries" and mistakes; I am not afraid to say "I'm sorry". In addition I am not good at being strict or angry. I laugh too much, sing off key and am lazy.
I know the list of my shortcomings must be a lot longer, but these were the ones which came to mind as I sit here writing.

However: as a teacher the story is a completely different one. In my private life I may be one step behind; as a teacher I know I am one step ahead. I have to be. Otherwise you do not last long in the classroom. Or, I guess you can, but I always thought that if you wake up in the morning and dread the day ahead of you, every morning, you really need to make some changes.
I used to master an academic language, but when I teach I start the school-year by avoiding 4-syllable words, and even though I once learned them, most of my professional language is out the window.

While writing this, my mind started disputing the ongoing thoughts I have about me staying in the classroom. I completed an MBA almost three years ago. I should have made a greater effort to put my education and qualifications to use. The thing is, though; it is so hard to build my confidence in what I can actually do. Or rather: How to get across to companies and boards that I may not have a title to support my experience in leadership, but I execute advanced leadership fairly ok every day, regardless my title not really implyin I do.

Funny thing, though; I have former students who settle down, get a family and buy homes in my neighborhood. With no exception they always get surprised finding out I am not a teacher 24/7. They comment upon how different I am in private.

As teachers we have a robot-side of our personalities. The rules, the demands and the restrictions we impose on our students may some times come across as unfair or just silly. However, we never have rules with no purpose. There is always a reason to why.
I strongly believe that to introduce restrictions you have no intention of following through do more damage than good. There are plenty of other issues to pay attention to.

In class I am in control, at home I have kids and a dog with lots of energy, and they only behave and follow my instructions when they want to. Now, I have to admit they most often make me very proud by wanting to, I have to give them that. But that might be because I don't tell them to do much.
Another thing is that we all have our talents. If you ignore your talent and make a living doing something you are not good at, that can't be even the slightest fullfilling. Doing that must feel like living in a vast void of losing yourself slowly and steadily.

A lot of the teenagers who come to us have never followed any borders or restrictions. They get away with doing their own thing whenever they want to. Gaming through the night is something we constantly have conversations with parents about. They often look at us with a startled face when we suggest they cut internet at a set hour. It's like as if the thought never crossed their mind, or they find it unthinkable because it will cause turmoil. Of course a 16-year old will have a tantrum if he/she is used to be online at all times, but that is part of being the adult in a family: to protect their kids from themselves and bad choices and arrange circumstances which help them be the best version of themselves. Our job is to prepare them for a good and healthy working life. Staying awake at daytime is always a good start.

I tell them "no, there is no room for negotiation", or I say "yes, let's do that!"
So many just lower their shoulders and relax when they don't have to spend time wondering what I actually said. And to my surprise they feel relieved when choices and decisions are made for them. Some times they have just been caught in bad habits. Habits they don't really want to keep up, but can't find a way out of. Some times I even explain my "no"s.
When weekends become the ones a week event it's supposed to be, most of us are a lot more content than if we just float on an ongoing stream of being "could have done better".

Everything used to be so much better. The kids are getting worse.
I don't think so. Yes, they are opinionated but they are also a product of society and my generation: the parents. I some times feel it unfair to blame it on the young ones.

Today we force adulthood upon children. How we dress them, what activities they participate in, how we put adulthood into their being by calling development of personality and growing up clinical words which strongly resemble adult activities. It's no secret I oppose strongly to the expression "children's sexuality". Why should getting to know your own body as a child have something to do with sex?
To me sexual activity is something which is only allowed between consenting adults. Our body is the only single thing we can choose who we give it to, and we should allow the next generation to have that privelege too.

It amazes me sometimes how we see the kind, thoughtful, smart person they just can't seem to see themselves. They have already failed too many times. They hide behind acting out, a terrible language and a face showing they don't care. Thing is, though, they do. But we sometimes forget to show and tell them how to do, how to talk to get their message across and how to act so they can be taken seriously.
Ones a young person decided they don't care, and they actually don't care, you will be challenged.
They've had 16 years of rehearsing stubbornness. It's tough on them because so have we.

As an adult and a teacher I have to tell them "stop". Not because of the sake of stopping them, but to help them take time out and think the options through. You always have a choice. The options might not be what you wished for, but the choice is there.

I am extremely patient as a teacher, even more than I am as a mum.
Thinking about it I don't think they will ever come across more patience in their entire lives. We all are, at least my coworkers on my team. To be this patient is very time consuming, but at the end of the day very rewarding. Some times I am very proud of my coworkers just because of that. Thinking about it I am always proud of them: they do a great job.

And then we have a curriculum to teach.